Throughout our lives, we often experience difficulties that come in a variety of forms; family, career, physical image, spirituality, emotionally, abuse of drugs or alcohol, depression, anxiety, etc. What I find to be interesting is that some people tend to “bounce back” fairly quickly, while others suffer in more ways than any of us could ever know because their pain is not visible to the eye; however, destructive to their internal being. But what is the difference between someone who has a bad moment, versus someone who has a bad month, versus someone who commits suicide? These are obviously three extremes, but I think understanding the “WHY” has the potential to allow all of us to realize the necessary preventative steps that could be taken in order to avoid negative experiences from overstaying their welcome.
I spoke with an individual the other day, who went through a divorce about five years ago as a result of her husband’s infidelity. She informed me that for the proceeding 6 months post separation, there were a handful of times that she would close her eyes while driving, take her hands off of the steering wheel, and not care what happened next. She felt completely empty, betrayed, and for those few seconds, like her life was not worth living. Thankfully, this woman had two beautiful children, supportive parents and excellent health, and during those three seconds of “life or death,” she realized the severity of what she was about to do. However, this change of mind did not necessarily eliminate her depression, as there were variety of other challenging issues, and thus she continued to toy with the idea of ending her life on several occasions there after.
These types of situations happen on a daily on basis for many of us. We might suddenly lose our job, experience a death in the family, or simply just feel worthless due to a lack of focus. The emotions associated with these events can be destructive leading us to ask ourselves, “Is it worth living?” There was a point in my life that I experienced this “victim mentality” in which I felt completely unfulfilled and empty because of my inability to transition within a new school district as a result of my parent’s divorce. I went from being “Mr. Popularity” to a wallflower with no friends, and began questioning the purpose of living my life. I would wake up each morning and dread each day and look at myself in the mirror feeling completely worthless. I began losing my sense of identity as a result of my unhappiness and frustration towards this chapter in my life. Was it worth living?
I have a feeling that many of you will relate to this message because I am sure there are points in everyone’s life where you question whether “living makes sense.” But with all of this being said, what I have learned is that some people are able to bounce back to a new and improved self regardless of their challenges. They may only experience a short-term depression, and it is my belief that the reason for this adaptability is because of their ESA or in other words, their Emotional Savings Account. This is the place where we store all of our “positvity,” siphoning and distributing energy during our times of need. The only way to increase your ESA is to surround yourself with positive and supportive people, to live by the glass half full mentality, and to believe that you possess all of the tools to thrive, regardless of what life throws in your path. It is important to realize that your emotional wealth is dictated by the value you have accumulated in your Emotional Savings Account.
I have found that the ESA concept has become useful in my life because whenever I find myself “stuck” as a result of a challenge, I ask myself a simple yet profound question, “Does this emotion increase my self worth and add value to my ESA?” In the past, my interpretation and reaction to the situations in my world would diminish my Emotional Savings Account, but as a result of making a conscious effort to focus on becoming one of the “EMOTIONAL MILLIONAIRES,” I begin to shift my perspective, get back on track, and budget my ESA so that I can take advantage of the higher rates of return associated with living a life of your dreams…
When was the last time you checked your ESA?
Are you satisfied with the balance in the account?
What does this mean to you? Add a comment
Acknowledgements for the picture from Flickr
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Great job! You were right on with this, thanks for sharing with me today!
I am so happy that you enjoyed and I hope you had a nice time with your family tonight…YOU DESERVE IT!
To me this means your perception of self worth. Does anyone else have time to think about if you are worthy or not? Does anyone else really care or intnetionly get in your way? Sure people care and have compassion but the mental battle is within yourself. You are harder on yourself than the rest of the world is on you. Time will pass and things will get better. The timeline for resolve is determined by you and the attention you require to make it through the difficult times. Grabbing attention only delays the process from moving forward. RCC
This is an extremely interesting point you made Roy because it is a struggle that I believe everyone faces throughout periods of their lives. We are in a constant emotional struggle with ourselves which means that we will always lose. There is a quote which immediately came to my mind which states, “Don’t judge your insides on someone else’s outsides.” If you are battling with your internal self, it is because you are comparing your external being to someone or something in your world. But there is a solution to this never ending predicament and it deals with asking ourselves introspective questions about whether these events are adding to or depleting our ESA, and based on the responses, TAKING ACTION! Thank you for always contributing to the growth of BRANDENTITY and have a wonderful evening!