Lessons from the INTERNET HACKER…(PART 1)

Last Wednesday, I had the unfortunate experience of having both my GMAIL and Facebook accounts hacked by someone. This individual sent an email to my entire personal database, along with a Facebook status, stating that I was in dire need of money because of a mugging in London. Many of you may already be aware of this situation, but I thought it would be an interesting concept to analyze and dissect because my INTERNET IDENTITY was stolen.

There is an important lesson that can be learned from this event because  although I am not a computer programmer or scientist, I would imagine that whomever was behind this scheme invested time, energy, and effort into something that provided absolutely no benefit, but rather significant harm. I personally do not believe anyone is being true to themselves when they detract from the lives of others, and instead, use this approach as a coping mechanism because of their internal emptiness in their lives.

What I have found is that this scenario tends to surface in all different types of relationships, whether they are intimate, business related, or friendships. Many people who experience troubling times, more often than not, will make an attempt to bring the people in their world into a dark state. It is almost like taking another human being and using them as a punching bag in order to alleviate the pain they are experiencing.  This unfortunately is engrained in the human psyche because no one wants to wallow in their own misery by themselves.

There are a number of people who I know that live a victim-oriented life, and when they are at their low point, do not want to associate with individuals who operate from an optimistic and positive frame of mind. They avoid listening to stories of joy because this results in extreme feelings of resentment, as they do not know how to achieve this level of satisfaction in their own lives. What I realize is the pain that many of these people are experiencing, which happens to be the root of their IDENTITY CRISIS, is something that may have occurred years before. This could be relationship woes, abuse as a child, addiction to drugs or alcohol, career disasters, etc.

One of the areas I believe many of you can relate to lies within intimate relationships, where one partner is frustrated with their life, and as a result, possesses resentment towards the other person because they are not experiencing the same pain. In order to bring this individual down to their level, so that they do not wallow in their misery alone, they might refrain from making love, verbally or physically abusing, stop doing the little things and maybe even the big things, and begin ruining something that could have been wonderful simply because they feel terrible about themselves. I also see this surface in parental relationships where children begin to segregate themselves from their parents. Many times the child will treat their parent like a punching bag, constantly beating down upon them simply because they are coming into their own and this experience is foreign and sometimes painful. Think about when you were a child and had a crush on a fellow peer, but got denied. Who received the wrath from this situation? I would tend to believe it was a parent, because once again, NO ONE wants to suffer alone.

What if in all of these situations, we were able to become more conscious to the pain that was surfacing in our lives?  What if we realized that detracting from the well-being of someone else may provide a short term fix, but severe long term pain because NO ONE gets pleasure from inflicting grief onto others? But what if we are able to learn how to cope with the events from long ago, so that they no longer occupy rent-free space in our lives? All of these questions are valid, and if you are struggling with this dilemma in your life, then take an honest inventory and answer this final question:

How does it serve me to inflict harm upon others?

If my Internet Identity Hacker would have spent the time asking himself these questions, as opposed to wallowing is his own misery, then I do not believe that there would have been a chain email sent to my personal database about getting mugged and needing money. Therefore, I would like to share a short message that I hope reaches the eyes of Mr. Internet Hacker because this situation needs to be his catalyst for change, as it is down right WRONG to treat anyone as a punching bag because he struggles with himself…

If you currently achieve peace by creating misery in the lives of others, than act as if this letter was directed to you. The actions of Mr. Internet Hacker are in the past, as are all of yours, so all you can do going forward is focus on the present in order to create a pain-free future. Remember, when we beat down on others in order to make ourselves feel better about the “who we are,” the gratification will be short lived, while the pain will last through eternity. If you resonate with this concept and you feel like there is someone in your world who has been a punching bag in your existence, then like I said to Mr. Internet Hacker, let this experience be your catalyst for change and give permission to yourself to love what makes you…YOU!

Do you create misery in the lives of others just so you will not wallow alone? If so, why?

What does this mean to you? Please leave a comment.

Some pictures from Flickr.

Please click on the play button in order to listen to an audio of this blog post.

Click here to download an MP3 of this blog post for your IPOD or any MP3 Player…