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Love attracts Love as Like attracts Like

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There often comes a point where people begin to fear being alone for the remainder of their life. This has absolutely nothing to do with age because I have worked with individuals as B.E. Partnering Clients who faced these challenges at all different stages of their lives. Some were in their mid twenties, others were divorced and in their 40’s or 50’s, and even one person in his late 60’s and married. I think it is important that everyone understands that you can be in a relationship, yet still feel like the loneliest person in the world. Maybe your partner is completely incongruent with you, and as a result, you share limited commonalties and a completely different perspective on what living is all about. This results in extreme controversy, nights of restless sleep, and a life where you go through the motions each and everyday.

like4Whenever I uncover a solution to a predicament, especially when it comes to relationships, I feel obligated to share my findings because regardless of where you are in life, this information will benefit you in more ways than you could imagine. Our relationships, more than anything else, dictate our level of happiness and fulfillment. The first relationship that must be addressed is the one with “YOURSELF” and how you perceive your self worth. If you have taken the time to love the “who you are,” then your relationship with yourself will be strong enough to allow for your relationship with someone else to thrive. On the contrary, if you do not take the time to love thyself, every relationship you will have in your life will be toxic and unfulfilling.

Now that you understand you must love thyself in order to love anyone else, there is a philosophy that I believe is often neglected, and as result, people suffer. Many of you are probably familiar with the Law of Attraction, which states that we will attract into our lives what we think about most often. In essence, like attracts like, even if like is completely contradictory to our desire. This is where the concept of loneliness enters into the picture of relationships, leading to the demise of the most critical emotion in our lives—LOVE! When someone is lonely, because they feel like there is no one in the entire world who is compatible with them, they begin to attract other people who are lonely and desperate. Remember, like attracts like. When this takes place, these two incompatible individuals begin to pursue one another because the one commonality that they share is a strong sense of loneliness. They realize when they are together, this void is temporarily filled because they now have someone to cuddle with, hold hands with, and go home with at night. This is when the journey of “love” begins to take a turn for the worse. This newfound feeling they share becomes an addiction and they do the unthinkable by getting married, buying a home, having children, and all of a sudden realizing, that they have a bigger void in their lives than ever before because they were initially attracted for all of the wrong reasons.

This philosophy has been proven in many situations such as drug addicts, who were in rehab together, have fallen in love because like attracts like, and both individuals were suffering and in need of support. Once they were no longer living a life which is controlled by their addiction, they realize that they no longer share this congruency and the relationship becomes null and void.

like3It is critical to realize that this scenario can also play a vital role in the magic associated with a connection of love. Because if you are operating from a place where you have learned to love thyself, where you are living with an abundant mentality, and where you have taken the time to clearly define what you are looking for in a soul mate, then once again, like attracts like, and this is exactly what will enter into your world. Many of you may think this is a fantasy mentality that would never work in the real world, but what I am adamantly proclaiming is that the philosophy of becoming who you want to spend your life with is one that has produced the only form of unconditional love known in our existence. It is your choice as to whether or not you resonate with this concept, but this model will work time and time again, so choose wisely because regardless of your decision, love attracts love as like attracts like, so love thyself first and the rest will follow!

What type of LOVE do you want to ATTRACT into your life?

What does this mean to you? Please leave a comment.

Some pictures from Flickr.

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February 27, 2013 at 8:00 am

{ 28 comments… read them below or add one }

Alexander McDonell January 22, 2010 at 5:47 am

How about some practical techniques for learning how to do it?


JY January 22, 2010 at 8:57 pm

Your request will most certainly be granted…

The message will be delivered on Wednesday of next week!


kathleen leos January 22, 2010 at 8:57 am

This is a very good message. I am sending it to all of my children- who are now adults and a few friends and siblings. Please keep up the level of quality and professionalism that is exhibited in your work.


JY January 22, 2010 at 8:58 pm

Thank you so much for spreading this message to the people in your world. I believe the philosophy that I have shared can profoundly change the way people look at their lives and their relationships. I appreciate the “who you are,” the “what you stand for,” and WHAT MAKES YOU…YOU!


Sandra Finkelstein January 22, 2010 at 1:23 pm

Oh Jared, I cannot agree more. The first and most important relationship as you say is the one with yourself. When you learn to love and honour who yourself this will be reflected in all your external relationships: personal, family, work, health, finance and so on. I tell my clients that life is a mirror and if what you do not like what is being reflected back to you then you need to look from within.
When I divorced, I decided to date me first and get to know and love me. Nearly 4 years ready I feel that I am worthy of receiving abundance in all areas of my life. This includes my love life. I have written down what I am looking for and I let go of the outcome and let universe do the HOW all I need to do is trust and know it is happening- Law of Attraction.


JY January 22, 2010 at 9:06 pm

I love this comment Sandra because this is a concept that I have discussed and shared with thousands of people. The most important person to take out on date is YOURSELF! I was recently published on a wonderful website where I shared this exact message, (http://www.getinthehotspot.com/2009/12/04/what-everyone-ought-to-know-about-their-identity/), while empowering people to ask the following questions:

Take Yourself On a Date

What I would like to see all of you do is to literally ask yourself out on a first date. Find a place where you can answer the following questions, and begin to assess yourself and your IDENTITY.

Tell me about yourself and your family.
What do you like to do, and what makes you laugh?
What do you do for a career and do you like it?
If you could do anything, what would it be?
Tell me about your friends and why are they so special?
What makes you cry and what are you afraid of?
Do you like being alone and what do you do when you are alone?
What are you looking for in someone that you hope to share your life with?
What makes you lose track of time and place?
What is your purpose?

When you listen to the answers to these questions, would you go out with YOU on another date?

Do you like the person that you are presenting as or are you still struggling with an imposed identity?

This lesson is one that enables you to become your own mirror, where you look at an image, and determine if this is who you want looking back. We all have the choice to CHANGE and any point in time because in order to find love, we must BECOME the person we are looking to attract…

Thank you SOOO much for sharing!


PV January 22, 2010 at 1:30 pm

Growing older each day and being alone I wonder is there a real person out there for me to share my life. I have not had a successful relationship to date because I have not had that one relationship with myself. I cannot seem to love me. Then to make matters worse for me I dated married people. I felt it was easier to have something that would never be mine. It was painful everyday. Now, I am reaching 40 and have stopped and need to look in the mirror and love the person that is looking back at me. I now have the hope that I can and will be able to love.


JY January 22, 2010 at 9:10 pm

I am so happy that you have the courage to begin the process of LOVING yourself. I shared a technique with SANDRA (look at the comment above) about taking yourself on a first date. I think this is the perfect exercise for you because it will enable you to realize who you truly are and what you are looking to attract into your life. I encourage you, from the bottom of my heart, to NEVER give up your quest for love. Always be open, always be conscious, and always be willing to share your life with someone who provides you with everything you are looking for and more. There is no timetable on love, and when it will happen is out of our control, but never stop believing because I have a feeling that something magical is on your horizon!


asha January 22, 2010 at 2:19 pm

I completely agree with you. Of course all that we think is always in ‘Perspective’ but i still beg to differ. Love can never be selfish. Love is selfless. Love attracts LOVE and I want to love endlessly – absolutely for the sake of love. I have never loved anybody to be loved back in return and have been very very very happy. Maybe because I hold myself responsible for all my actions and never try to pass the buck to the “OTHER PERSON” FOR something I don’t deserve. I like to believe and know that I attract all the good things in life….hence i find lots who love me back. I live each day, moment, laugh easily, cry easily, appreciate easily and tell all those who i love that I DO LOVE THEM.
I fall in love easily…. :)


JY January 22, 2010 at 9:13 pm

This is what LIVING is all about. Asha, you have such incredible energy in this comment because you have allowed yourself to be “vulnerable” to love which is utterly profound. When we are open to this emotion, willing to wear our hearts on our sleeve for the world to see, and clear on WHO WE ARE; then we will attract people that reciprocate the emotion that exudes from our soul. Never stop being YOU and NEVER stop loving!

Thank you for contributing and WELCOME to BRANDENTITY!


Faisal January 23, 2010 at 10:16 am

I think that when one goes for a relationship with someone, he/she finds voluntarily or involuntarily what he is looking or what he lacks. But one should not go blindly who ever is atracted to him at that moment.

It is the matter of his inner strength, his maturity before getting into that relationship. And again it is his inner strength to continue that relationship.

And I agree that once you are in love, it means selflessness and making the will of others your will.


JY January 23, 2010 at 4:26 pm

I appreciate your response to this message. I believe I understand what you are expressing and if my interpretation is accurate than you are focusing on loving thyself before making an attempt to love someone else. If this is the case, then I wholeheartedly agree. We need to spend the time learning about WHO WE ARE and WHAT WE WANT to attract into our lives.

Thank you for sharing and WELCOME to BRANDENTITY!


kathleen leos January 27, 2010 at 7:41 am


I read thru the 7 principles. I think you definately have touched on all the principles that will transform lives. I would like to add a thought for consideration in the principle of self- love and acceptance. I think it is VERY important to learn to accept self- reality, mistakes made and forgive oneself (move away from guilt- huge motivator in many folks lives and can be very negative). I have found that when you can forgive yourself, you can forgive others and move on- it releases enormous energy, brings peace and clarity and a very centered sense of self. Other than this additional observation I agree with the 7 principles and think the unique perspective you bring to each one is important. I think not only the book but workshops, presentations, videos etc to get the message out to many many people. Love thyself, know thyself – Greek philosophy, also in the Bible -


JY January 27, 2010 at 10:49 pm

Your point is extremely valid and I so appreciate your willingness to share. The self-talk component to EVERLASTING LOVE definitely includes accepting what once was and forgiving oneself. These are critical areas that need to be addressed because otherwise, the past will fester in your present existence.

Thomas Edison once said, “I have not failed. I’ve just found ways that won’t work.”

If we were able to adopt this philosophy into our existence, I firmly believe that we would also provide ourselves with the permission to forgive…

These 7 Principles will be created into everything that you shared for me and more….thank you for being such a wonderful supporter!


Misty January 27, 2010 at 1:10 pm

Brilliant, Jared.

The cosmic joke is that once you truly begin loving yourself, you don’t feel the desperate longing for a partner in the same way … in loneliness, we’re looking outside ourselves for something only we can give ourselves, as you so aptly described. I found myself telling someone recently, who was asking me what I felt about finding a partner and getting married, “I love the idea of it, and if the Universe sends me someone who is aligned in the right ways, I would be so grateful for it; my parents have been married for 35 years and I love the idea of a committed relationship. But I believe my life can be amazing and fulfilling and juicy with or without a partner.” I’m actually dating this person now, and it’s probably the best alignment and easiest relationship I’ve ever had. :) Crazy, eh?


JY January 27, 2010 at 10:52 pm

The universe is such a powerful phenomenon and when we do not interrupt what it does best, we will be provided with endless opportunities that stand before us.

You made such a profound point that I want to emphasize because there is a key distinction between a life of loneliness and a life of being alone. Loneliness is similar to a disease, where we do anything possible to eliminate it from our existence. Whereas, being alone is a state of BEING were we realize that we have ourself and once the time is right, the time will be right.

I am so happy to hear that you found alignment and I hope that this relationship provides you with everything you could have ever wanted and more because you DESERVE it!


Misty January 28, 2010 at 3:50 am

Aww … thanks, my friend.

I realized a few years ago that my experience of loneliness came from me wanting someone else to create something special and meaningful for me. Something clicked, and I realized that I could create that for not only myself, but so many other people, too.

I am NEVER alone. What is alone? I suppose in some ways, are journeys are always alone, even when we have a partner. But no one can walk our paths for us. And from a transcendent place, we are never, ever alone… this realization set me free. :)

I love your light, Jared. This is such an important topic and has had me thinking today. Shine bright, Bright, BRIGHT!


JY January 28, 2010 at 11:43 am

What an amazing revelation… loneliness is a CHOICE and anything that anyone else could provide tous shy in comparison to what we can provide to ourselves. With this being said, there is nothing as profound and powerful than TRUE love, but in order for this magical bond to reach its full potential, it is essential that each individual loves themselves before they attempt to love one another. You have created a foundation for EVERLASTING LOVE, and whether it happens today, next week, or years from now…you will be ready!!!!

Thank you for sharing these wonderful words because I know that many of the members of BRANDENTITY will be able to relate with what you are discussing….


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alexander mcdonell January 28, 2010 at 2:11 pm

I am not sure it is quite possible to “love yourself”. I would explain it as opening yourself to receive love from the universe, and from others. This is why so many people turn to religion. The idea of a God who loves them allows them to open their heart to receiving love.


JY January 30, 2010 at 3:49 pm

I appreciate your interpretation of this message and after reading it a few times, I realized that regardless of what allows people to open their hearts to love (religion, spirituality, individuality, etc.) as long as the heart is open…LOVE will penetrate their soul…

Thank you for enlightening me!


kathleen February 28, 2010 at 2:06 pm

I have been thinking about and exploring the concept of relationships. Relationships beyond self. The obvious one is self to family- intergenerational, same generation and the roles, expectations and cultural values we bring to each one of these relationships. In my journey to change my identity, my roles and expectations, I am discovering many things. The relationship to my mom- daughter to mother (younger to older) generation is changing and taking on new and unusual aspects. I have been encouraging her to change her role to the family. Instead of quiet, passive listener and receiving information with no judgment and no commitment to active, gentle quiet leader who communicates to her children and her grandchildren what she wants, needs and expects. This is a fascinating transformation. I refuse to be the “family problem-solver” my former role and only participate as an equal with my siblings and my children (her grandchildren). Her transformation will show others the path- how to lead and love with kindness and yet firmness-drawing self boundaries without losing self to other’s wants, whims, expectations and demands. It will be a fascinating journey for the family and the relationship dynamics will change. It will also (at some point) teach all generations to think beyond oneself (selfish) without losing self. Sure there will be mistakes made- nothing is perfect but to see the courage it takes for someone who is an octagenarian willing to not hide and identify self to others and state reasonable expectations and communicate is an example of fearless- selflessness! An example that all generations can learn and use in one’s own identity development and pass on to another generation.


Eboni November 26, 2011 at 9:00 pm

I have been taking the time to look within for some time now, and I keep getting the same feedback. Love yourself, accept yourself, be the person you want to attract. I have began to be kinder to myself and really attempt to internalize these concepts.

For some reason I htought I already accepted and loved myself. In reality, I found that I loved accomplishing things that others saw as great. I loved the attention, or the pat on the back, but when things went wrong, so did my attitude about myself.

I now believe that I can accomplish total self love and acceptance, and I do believe that I will attract a great partner as an added bonus! Thanks for this great info!


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