Be-Gooder versus Do-Gooder

What I often find with people who suffer from living an identity-less life is that they try to find purpose in pleasing the world, but neglecting their own needs. I have always been an advocate of giving for the sake of giving and contributing to define your purpose, but with this being said, your personal well-being can not be ignored because then you will have an identity for everyone other than yourself.

There is a special person in my life who I will refer to as a “Do-Gooder.” This individual would literally sacrifice the quality of her life for the sake of the people in her world. She will go to the depths of the ocean and back to help others in need. And she will forfeit the “who she is” for the people she cares about most. The only problem is she is always doing, doing, and doing, while never taking the opportunity to just BE! As you have noticed, the logo for BRANDENTITY is B.E. because this signifies what we need to do in order to begin living the life that we create for ourselves, as opposed to the life that someone or something creates on our behalf.

I have a feeling that many of you will be able to relate to this concept because you may believe that the cure for your pain is helping others, which results in forfeiting the time you need for yourself. This might be the direct result of doing for your children, your loved-ones, your friends, your career, your parents, but never for yourself. I understand that many of you might obtain great satisfaction in seeing someone else smile as a result of your “doings,” but I am here to tell you that this fulfillment will be short lived if you do not take time for your “beings.” It is important to realize that I am by no means stating that people should begin to act selfish and only care for themselves because I do believe there is an incredible sense of purpose associated with helping someone achieve something in their life that they never deemed possible. I also think everyone has different circumstances and one person might have a significant amount of responsibilities that someone else does not have. I am completely aware that there are only twenty-four hours in each day and we all have twenty-five hours of items on our personal daily to-do list. I am not telling you that your “being time” needs to take away from your “doing time,” and I am not telling you that your “being time” should be X number of minutes, but what I am saying is that you NEED to allow yourself to just BE, for however long you desire every single day!

The act of just being will enable you to be more focused and present during your doings. You will no longer resent the people who are requiring your assistance because you have had your daily dose of being. However, there may be another challenge that could surface as a result of providing yourself with time to just BE, in that you continue to think about what you need to DO! This is a self-fulfilling prophecy because you desire to spend time with yourself, but your thoughts are not allowing this to occur because you are consumed by everything you still need to do for the people in your world. This could even consist of thinking about someone who is in a depressed state and putting yourself through their pain during your time to just BE. This is the sign of a “do-gooder,” instead of a “be-gooder” because you are sacrificing your well-being for everyone in your world. Keep in mind that with all of the doing that is taking place, you are actually being selfish by not taking the time for yourself. There are countless scientific studies which prove stress is one of the predominant killers in our society and people who do not allow themselves time to just BE may accelerate their own demise, disabling them from being present in the lives of the people who need them most.

I am not going to define what being should be for you, but it is important to determine what allows you to escape the minutia of your everyday life, and enjoy the time you have with yourself. Therefore, when you begin to act as a people pleaser, remember that the first person who needs to be pleased is YOURSELF!

So take some time, everyday, to just B.E.!

Are you a Be-Gooder or a Do-Gooder?

What does this mean to you? Please leave a comment.

Some pictures from Flickr.

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