Love Is In The Air

As we approach Valentine’s Day, the sense of duality fills the air because each individual interprets this holiday in their own way. There are some people who are overwhelmed with excitement because this represents an opportunity to enjoy intimacy, a romantic evening, and the chance to express love. On the other end of the spectrum, there are individuals who consider this day a thorn in their existence because it represents loneliness, animosity for what once was, or the inability to share love for another person. The most profound aspect of this duality is that there are no consistent variables. Someone could be in a relationship for years and still dread what this holiday represents, while someone else may be alone in their world, but cherish whatever it is that they do during their celebration. This is a fascinating concept which is why I have spent time speaking with people, from all walks of life, learning about what makes one person enjoy this time of year, and yet someone else wish they had the ability to sleep this day away.

I recently spoke with a gentleman who was married for 32 years and dreaded Valentine’s Day because it emphasized everything that he was missing in his relationship; while another woman told me that she loves Valentine’s Day, even though she has been a single parent for 17 years, because she takes the time to envision her ideal mate; while another gentleman said that he drinks his sorrows away because his wife left him ten years earlier; and yet another woman was overwhelmed with excitement because she was going to decorate her entire house with candles for her husband of 42 years! The question that I would like all of you to consider is the following:

What enables one person to enjoy the holiday of LOVE, regardless of their circumstances, while another considers this time of year as a thorn in their existence?

I have previously addressed the concept of “Loving Thyself” in order to attract someone, who is congruent with your values, into your world. So as not to reiterate what was already discussed a few weeks ago, it is critically important to embrace the model for attracting EVERLASTING LOVE while considering the concepts that I am going to share with all of you today.

Human psychology is something that I find fascinating because regardless of how conscious we are to the way we think, our past experiences, the cycles we have been exposed to, and our current existence, will impact the way we embrace circumstances as they enter our world. Therefore, this Valentine’s Day is no different than any other day that we live our lives, but what is unique is the attention that our world places on the most foundational emotion called LOVE. But why is this day, different than any other day? What is important for you must realize is that a holiday cannot be the impetus of love in our lives. This is an emotion that all of us possess and it is our responsibility to share it with the people in our world, whether that is through an intimate, business, spiritual, or social lens.

After researching the concept of love through various books, interactions with people, and exposure to timeless works from many of the great philosophers, I have learned that love is something that needs to be communicated on a regular basis. There are a variety of ways this can take place, but what I encourage you to understand is that it MUST take place. Next week, I am going to publish an article on the Five Love Languages which will support all of you on your quest to share love with the people in your world and with yourself, but in the meantime, allow this Valentine’s Day to be the moment that you become more conscious of what you are looking for in a partner, regardless of whether or not you are already in a relationship.

Valentine’s Day is the perfect opportunity to begin this process because although it is cliché, “love is in the air.” The activity that I am going to encourage you to consider is one that has allowed me to attract love into my life and has also enabled many of the people who I have worked with over time to also find their ideal partner. I have also seen couples perform this activity on an individual basis, and then bring their findings together in order to create a new sense of love, within their already established relationship. The point that I am stressing is that if you take this exercise seriously, I guarantee it will work.

The reason I believe so few relationships have the opportunity to completely capture the essence of love is due to the fact that there is no clarity of love. People do not even know what it is that they desire in their partner which is why they are unsure as to whether love exists within their relationship or prospective relationship. Without a clear understanding of what LOVE means to you, there is no chance of attracting this emotion into your life. Therefore, the purpose of this exercise is to combine your intention to find love, with the attention you need to place on what love is, so that you are able to embrace the potential this brings into your life. I am going to share a seven step process that will change your life, and this has nothing to do with the strategy that I created, but rather the results that could surface once this approach is implemented and focused upon.

1. Get a notebook and on the front cover write My Guide to Everlasting Love.

2. Draw a Line down the middle of the first page and on the left side write Desirable and on the Right Side write Undesirable

3. In the desirable column please write down every characteristic, value, belief, etc., that you yearn to find in an ideal partner.

4. In the undesirable column please write down every characteristic, value, belief, etc., that you do not want in your partner.

5. Get a highlighter and highlight 5 desirable attributes that MUST be in your relationship. These are items that you cannot live without and are not willing to compromise.

6. Get a highlighter and highlight 5 undesirable attributes that MUST NOT be in your relationship. These are items that you cannot live with and are not willing to compromise.

7. Sharpen the saw by adding to these columns whenever you experience something you desire or find completely undesirable.

I encourage you to take this exercise seriously and invest however much time is necessary because there is truly nothing more important in life than LOVE. I know many people who are financially abundant, and most would consider them “on top of the world,” but unfortunately, they live an empty existence because MONEY and SUCCESS does not breed happiness, without LOVE.

What I need you to understand is that the seventh step in this process is extremely important because as you evolve through life, your may adopt a new set of philosophies or beliefs which will influence what you desire in a relationship. When this takes place, it is critically important to “sharpen the saw” and add to your Guide to Everlasting Love. This is not an exercise that necessarily gets completed, but rather a work in progress. Even after you attract your ideal suitor, LOVE requires constant attention and an extreme sense of consciousness in order to grow and expand.

There is one loophole to this process that I must address because this list is only as accurate as you choose. There is a chance that your potential partner or your current partner might embody all five of your DESIRABLE attributes that MUST be in the relationship, but also personify two items from the UNDESIRABLE list. These types of relationships are potentially doomed for disaster, unless both partners are willing to work in tandem and address these concerns. With this being said, please do not judge your current love or your future love too quickly. What I have seen on a number of occasions is that people are so consumed with finding someone that is 100% compatible that they often miss the chance to connect with a person who is yearning for the opportunity to work with someone in order to create a relationship that is in alignment. You must be open to any and all possibilities as love is completely unconventional, unorthodox, and irrational. There is truly no way to gauge when this will surface in your life, who it will be with, and how it will take place. But by preparing for its entrance or reigniting the emotion when it is dormant, you will be fully prepared for the magic associated with the most powerful emotion that any of us will ever experience.

Therefore, whether Valentine’s Day brings you great joy or an incredible sense of loneliness, I encourage you to spend time with your GUIDE TO EVERLASTING LOVE. I personally believe that the identity crises that our country faces is the direct result of a lack of everlasting love, but it is important to realize that it is never too late to attract more love or to find love for the very first time. So start today because LOVE IS IN THE AIR and decide what it is that you are looking for while remaining open to the endless possibilities of how this will manifest, and most importantly, enjoying the entire process as it unfolds.

What do you desire and what is undesirable?

What does this mean to you? Please leave a comment.

Some pictures from Flickr.

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