I Am No Different Than You

Many of you may realize that I have not posted a message in a few weeks and others have made an effort to contact me in order to see if everything was okay in my life. I need to be completely honest and upfront with all of you as to my rationale for not focusing on Brandentity and taking this hiatus. What I have come to realize is that an identity is not something that you achieve, but rather a process, and although I subconsciously knew this and spoke about it, I felt like I was almost invincible and in essence an outlier. I believed that I was in complete control over my existence, my emotions, and the outcome of all of my efforts. I did not realize that I was putting on a front for the world while hiding behind something that I refer to as my shadow. I thought I surpassed the challenges in my life so that they had little to no residual effects on my present being, and I thoroughly believed that I clearly found my identity. What I need you to understand is that at no point did I “pretend” to be someone that I am not, nor did I wear a mask of confidence so that all of you would be inspired by me; however, I recognize now that I got off track and began living a life of contradictions.

Many of you may think that my “credibility” is now lost because how could I create a concept like the Identity Revolution and not practice what I preach. And others might think that my transparency is inspiring because it enables you to realize that I am no different than any of you. But what I encourage everyone to understand is that your individuality is what you make of it, and regardless of the external events in your life, it is your responsibility to remain congruent, in alignment, and most importantly, TRUE to yourself. These past three months have resulted in EXTREME change for me. The reason I am sharing this with all of you is because I know that you can relate on some level. Maybe your periods of change are different or feel like they are perpetually occurring throughout your lives, but what I learned, and I continue to learn, is that periods of change cannot result in a loss of individuality.

Personally, I stopped reading, I stopped writing, and I stopped everything that made me…ME! Although I believe that you need to transition rather than get stuck in your ways, as life’s challenges present themselves, I recognize the importance of focusing on yourself before considering elements outside of your being. This has nothing to do with being selfish, but rather selfless, because if you are unable to live a life of congruence with who you are and who you want to be, then all is lost, and those around you will have difficulty recognizing you for being you. This catastrophe is exactly what I have been experiencing over the past three months. And it takes courage to be transparent with all of you because I know that there is a chance that judgment will be passed, while you question the philosophies that I have shared and will share going forward because I just admitted that I am living a life of contradictions. I need to work on finding myself once again, so that when I look in the mirror, I am proud of the image that looks back. But there is a lesson that can be learned during these early phases of searching for yourself. The purpose behind this message is to inspire those who can relate to my experiences since April. I have been in denial and unwilling to face the demons that I refer to as my “shadow” which was something that I thought no one could see but my subconscious, until I realized  the people in my world, who love me more than anything else, were completely aware of my struggle and conscious to my contradictions.

This happens to be the first step to finding yourself, whether it is for the first time or subsequent times, because we must be honest and willing to be transparent. Once I dropped my ego of confidence, and embraced the challenges from others, I began to realize that my individuality, in essence what makes me…me, was dormant. My parents addressed their concerns for weeks; and although I listened, I did not hear what they were saying because I was in denial. Those of you as fortunate as myself to have family who truly care about your well-being being might also, at times, ignore them when they speak from their heart. But what I must tell you is that even if I did not take action when I initially recognized my contradictions, they etched a place in my being and echoed in my thoughts. And then the other night, June 30^th at 10:00pm, I had a revelation because Lindsay; my soul mate, my lover, and someone who I can honestly call my new best friend, challenged me by saying, “Where is the Jared that I fell in love with?” I will never forget those ten words because that is all I needed to hear after spending weeks where my parents questioned my identity, and I debated with feeling lost—Lindsay hit the nail on the head and helped me to realize that it is time to focus on me.

For some reason, I began to think that my career, my finances, and all of the external things in my life would enable me to sustain the identity that I worked on for years, but what I have now learned is that there is nothing outside of yourself that will provide you with what you need to live a congruent life. You can’t say that once you have children, you will begin living a life free from contradictions; or once you get promoted; or once you get the bonus; or once you graduate from college’ because all of the “once’s” mean that you are waiting for something outside of yourself to help you find yourself.

What I encourage you to do is look within, be transparent, and then take action. I know this message could be interpreted in a variety of ways, and if I lost credibility in your eyes because I was honest about redefining and finding myself, then that is a risk I am willing to take to inspire those who are ready to be honest with themselves. Because what I have learned is that life is cyclical, and the moment that you feel like you are congruent and in alignment with your identity could be the instant that everything changes. Maybe it will be the result of sickness or disease, an argument with a family member, a career change, or financial difficulties, but regardless of when or where this surfaces in your life, I encourage you not to take the path that I did from April through June, and instead to embrace the uncertainty, associate yourself with others who will inspire you, and never lose sight of what makes you the person that can look in the mirror and be overwhelmingly proud of the image that looks back.

The final piece to this equation is that this “loss of individuality” will most certainly happen again. I am not being a pessimist, but rather a realist because I recognize that in life we will experience multiple times that I like to refer to as a “squat,” where we take one step backwards and potentiality stand stagnant, until we become conscious to the fact that we are off track. Once this takes place, and we become the “watcher of the thinker” as Eckart Tolle says, you will begin to realize that it is time to focus your attention on re-establishing your identity in order to bring yourself out of this place at a faster pace than ever before. Therefore, be comfortable with the unknown, recognize that your identity is not something that you achieve, but rather a process that you work towards, and look within in order to find yourself.

My commitment to all of you from this moment going forward is to keep you updated with my progress. I do not believe that results will be seen over night, but like Lao Tzu said, “The journey of a thousand miles began with one simple step.” Each day will be a step that I take in order to get ONE step closer to realizing who I am, what I stand for, and what makes me…ME!

I will be travelling from July 5^th-July 22^nd but I will document my experiences so that when I return I will inspire all of you to become leaders in your IDENTITY REVOLUTION. Thank you for standing by my side, thank you for always believing in me, and thank you for being YOU!

I also want to take a moment to thank my family for seeing something in me that I did not see in myself for the past few months. Your words echo in my mind and your love means the world to me. And Lindsay, I want you to know how fortunate I am to have you in my life. Your dedication to my personal growth is something that I have always dreamed of and what I want you to remember is that we are headed in the right direction…NOW and FOREVER. I love you…

What does this mean to you? Please leave a comment.

Some pictures from Flickr.