January

18

2011

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360 Degrees in 365 Days…

Post image for 360 Degrees in 365 Days…

It has been months since we have connected, and although I cannot say that I am back and better than ever, I have returned with more clarity and a greater understanding of what makes Jared Yellin who he is as a person. Although our most recent correspondence has been sporadic at best, during this hiatus I was not sitting back and allowing the world to pass me by, but rather I was learning more about myself than I ever thought possible.

degrees2When Brandentity was first launched, I felt like I was literally on top of the world. My career was soaring; the identity revolution was growing rapidly; my thoughts and actions were congruent; I was living a life of health and wellness; I was closer with my family and friends than ever before; and eventually, I began a relationship with someone whom I thought was the missing piece in my existence. I was abundant in every sense of the word, and if nothing were to have changed, I would have lived a life of complete and utter fulfillment…or so I thought—I felt invincible. I say this with no disrespect or ignorance, but rather with a level of complete transparency of my emotions.

As 2010 began, I was introduced to a group of investors who were in the process of a large merger and acquisition of a nutraceutical company. They offered me the opportunity to take on an enormous amount of responsibility as a manager of the company and the spokesperson for all marketing initiatives. Simultaneously, I pursued a relationship with someone whom I thought was completely congruent with me, as I was with her, and we decided to move rapidly, forgoing the formative experiences that “might” be essential when it comes to building a foundation for a thriving relationship. As time progressed, I began to lose what made me who I was and began to suffer from an identity crisis.

degrees3The irony of this realization is that I still had an enormous following as a result of Brandentity, and many people would contact me on a regular basis with the desire to understand how I “found myself” at such a young age. During this time, I literally received 100’s of messages surrounding the concept of an identity crisis, but was unable to respond as I suffered from the same epidemic as many of you. I literally could not look at the website; I could not reach out for speaking opportunities; and I could not respond to people who were asking for advice…the year Brandentity was launched, was the year I lost myself. The once “so together” Jared Yellin was spiraling out of control as my passion for life was dormant and my beliefs of what was possible became non-existent.

But how could this happen when I literally just launched Brandentity? How could I make comments about introspection and finding myself, and how my past no longer dictates my present, and how I was unscathed by my parents challenging divorce, and how my tagline was “confidence is my presence, never tense, never hesitant?”


How could I be this blind???????????????????


And now, 360 degrees in 365 days later, I can tell you that I was not blind, I was not ignorant, and I was not lost. I was deaf because I refused to hear the screaming of my intuition that things were so incongruent; and instead, focused on the superficial components of my life while ignoring the guidance of my inner voice.

So here is my update, and I share this with you because I have a feeling that many of you have either experienced a journey like this in the past, are currently on an adventure like the one I will share, or are perpetually living in an abyss of chaos.

The private equity deal could not have been further from what I was looking to achieve in my life, even though on the surface I had everything when it came to finances, responsibility, and opportunity. It was strictly a business, and although I love the dynamics of the business world, I realized that I need to associate myself with like-minded individuals who are driven towards giving back to humanity. This did not exist, nor was it ever going to exist, but the opportunity did provide an enormous amount of autonomy which enabled me to support my relationship and everything that it entailed.

Over this year I made the choice to pick up my life on two occasions in order to keep the relationship intact, even though my intuition was screaming that something was not right. I literally gave up who I was and my desire to be congruent in order for this relationship to work, and although this was at no fault of the other person, the choices that I made were fueled by the contradictions that existed in my life. As time progressed, we moved to an extremely small town in Virginia, and although my inner voice was adamantly against this decision, I ignored its presence in fear that the relationship would not survive unless I was physically with the other person. This move was a pivotal experience because I was now living in a place where I did not belong, in a career which represented a contradiction, and in a relationship that was stifling and unfulfilling for both parties. How could the Jared Yellin, who degrees4once felt inordinately abundant, feel so alone and empty?

I am here today as a messenger, because what I am about to share is something that I recently learned. The only thing that truly changed in my world was the superficial, and I always had ME, but I was consumed by my perception of my circumstances. I literally was unable to look at myself in the mirror because all that I saw was a giant contradiction. I was once the person who wrote about pursuing their dreams for a career, yet I put my world on hold for an opportunity which was not in alignment with what I am looking to achieve. I was once the person who wrote about love as the most profound emotion, but was in a relationship where it did not truly exist. I was once the person who stressed the importance of nutrition and exercise, yet I was no longer concerned with my personal well-being. I was once the person who was financially balanced and in control of my fiscal life, yet my infatuation within my relationship led to the demise of my bank account because I thought that all of the superficial “THINGS” would substitute for the lack of love. These outside influences dictated my personal level of fulfillment, and as a result, I felt alone and empty. It is so easy to listen to the echoes of the outside world as they influence your decisions, but your intention must be focused on your inner voice and your intuition.

As time went on, something motivated me to reconnect with the company that I was with prior to the private equity deal. I did this with no intention of returning, but rather because I was in dire need of support and guidance from a group of people who played an integral part in my growth. During our first conversation, it became extremely apparent that I had unfinished business and it was time for me to return. Sometimes in life you don’t know what you have until it is lost or until you have a moment of reprieve where you are finally honest with yourself. Simultaneously, the relationship, which was once everything that I thought I wanted, began to fall apart, and it was time for the two of us to go our separate ways.

Therefore, as I sit in a Starbucks in Englewood NJ, I have literally gone 360 degrees in 365 days; living in NJ with my supportive family and friends, with the same incredible company, and ready to be part of this revolution with all of you. This journey has been the most humbling experience of my life because it allowed me to confront everything that I do not know about myself, while forcing me to come to terms with the fact that I am not invincible; actually I am no different than anyone. None of us are…we really are all the same regardless of our wealth, intellect, looks etc. We are all profound individuals, the only difference lies in our ability to listen to our inner voice.  My unconscious being was literally screaming at me since January of last year that every decision I was making was not in alignment with what I was looking to achieve in life, but I chose not to listen. Besides sickness or disease, there is no such thing as being blindsided or surprised by what life throws your way because if you were to allow yourself to delve deep into your internal being, the answer would have been apparent the entire time. Whether you go through a difficult breakup, make a poor investment, or take a risk in your career, your intuition will always be there to guide you as long as you allow this voice to be heard.

degrees6So 365 days later, I have less money, I am single once again, and I might have “wasted” a year of my business life, but what I gained is something that no money, no time, and no relationship could ever replace…what I gained was awareness, what I gained was a deeper sense of consciousness, and what I gained was genius as to what I still do not know. Therefore, I could not feel more fortunate about the last 365 days of my life and I hope that as we progress together, you will allow me to share these lessons with you.

In closing, here is one of my favorite poems, something that I read years ago as a result of a very special person in my world, something that captures the essence of what I have learned…

The Man in the Glass by Peter “Dale” Winbrow Sr.

When you get what you want in your struggle for self
And the world makes you king for a day,
Just go to the mirror and look at yourself
And see what that man has to say.

For it isn’t your father or mother or wife
Whose judgment upon you must pass.
The fellow whose verdict counts most in your life
Is the one staring back from the glass.

You may be like Jack Horner and chisel a plum
And think you’re a wonderful guy.
But the man in the glass says you’re only a bum
If you can’t look him straight in the eye.

He’s the fellow to please-never mind all the rest,
For he’s with you clear to the end.
And you’ve passed your most dangerous, difficult test
If the man in the glass is your friend.

You may fool the whole world down the pathway of years
And get pats on the back as you pass.
But your final reward will be heartache and tears
If you’ve cheated the man in the glass.

Thank you for all that you do, thank you for supporting and believing in our mission, and thank you for always being YOU!

What does this mean to you? Please leave a comment.

Some pictures from Flickr.

{ 23 comments… read them below or add one }

jason sonners January 19, 2011 at 7:23 am

Hey-

What an adventure…… I had no idea, but you sound like you learned a great deal!

Let’s talk sometime…… I’d love to catch up

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JY January 19, 2011 at 7:48 pm

It was a wonderful adventure…I feel so fortunate to have experienced it and now I am processing while remaining conscious to all that I have learned. I would love to catch up (I was actually thinking about you the other day). Be well my man!

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Kathleen Leos January 19, 2011 at 7:34 am

Welcome back!

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JY January 19, 2011 at 7:48 pm

Thank you…remember, this is simply the beginning and the best is yet to come!

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Jamie DeChambeau January 19, 2011 at 8:52 am

Hey Jared. So glad you’re back!

I found the part of your blog post about following your intuition very interesting. Without trying to sound condescending, believing your intuition does come with time. I’m 43 and I truly didn’t start believing my intuition until recently. As you go through life and experience different situations, you begin to trust your intuition and getting to the point where you completely trust it is very comforting. But it does take time and unfortunately, some wrong turns down some scary roads. When you do learn to trust and follow your intuition, even when you don’t know why, it’s an amazing journey.

Thanks for sharing your journey with all of us. Your insight and honesty has been so enlightening. It helps us all realize that the journey of finding ourselves and who we really are is a lifelong voyage (at least it has been for me so far!).

Hugs, Jamie

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JY January 19, 2011 at 7:52 pm

Thank you for always being such an incredible supporter of my personal mission in life. Prior to this year, I would have debated you on the correlation between intuition and life experiences, but this year has opened my eyes in a bigger way than I ever thought possible. The experiences have truly enable me to realize that an identity is a voyage, one where you embark outside the safe harbor of the known and growth is the outcome for the open. If there is anything that I can bestow upon you, I ask that you ALWAYS remain willing to experience LIFE and what LIVING is all about…the good and the challenged!

Thank you for being YOU!

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Joanny January 19, 2011 at 11:23 am

Hi, Jared. 2010 was a year of personal growth for me, too. I’ve let go of certain people, things, thoughts, ideas, “shoulds”, etc or they’ve let go of me. Some of it was very painful, indeed. Others not so much. But just a couple of days ago, I became aware of how peaceful I felt, anyways. That’s when you know you’re doing the right things for your Self.

Cheers.
Joanny.

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JY January 19, 2011 at 7:53 pm

I commend you for sharing this and I am inspired by your realization…

Make 2011 a year of implementation based on all that you now know…!

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David Moore January 19, 2011 at 1:03 pm

It is good to have “You” back and better than ever! I look forward to your posts and interacting with ‘Brandentity’.
Great Stuff,
Dr. Dave

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JY January 19, 2011 at 7:55 pm

It is good to be back and doing what I love while loving what I do!

What I have come to realize is that the only way to TRULY LIVE, and I mean live in a way that most would say is impossible, is to find ways to LOVE each area of your life. There will obviously be moments, events, or even experiences which are challenging/daunting in nature, but if we allow ourselves to see the beauty in each circumstance, then we will recognize that LOVE is just around the corner…or maybe a few corners away!

Be well my man!

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Constance Henderson January 19, 2011 at 3:06 pm

Jared,
Lucky for me your journey took this turn. Thank you for your courage to act. Thank you for sharing your wisdom. I will always be grateful.
Connie

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JY January 19, 2011 at 7:56 pm

Your support is always appreciated and I want to recognize you for all of the “courageous” acts that you have taken in life…You are an inspiration Connie!

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Marianne January 19, 2011 at 3:20 pm

Hi Jared,

Great to hear from you again! 2010 was a difficult but enlightening year for me as well, so maybe it was just in the stars! While I have suffered several setbacks, it has been productive in my being able to sift through and get rid of what is no longer useful to me and therefore recognize what is most important, worth holding onto and enriching. Nothing really worthwhile comes easily.
Thank you for your post! I love the poem and look forward to hearing more from you in this new year.

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JY January 19, 2011 at 7:58 pm

You are an inspiration and thank you for allowing yourself to be vulnerable and share that you too are not invincible….none of us are, but those who grow from their circumstances force themselves to remain conscious during moments of introspection in order to find their TRUTH. Keep doing the work Marianne and implement when lessons are learned!

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Joanny January 19, 2011 at 3:24 pm

It really is true that you only grow through adversity – if you accept it as a learning opportunity. That’s what at least 3 of us have done and yeap, there’ll be other tests to take too, when required! It takes guts to get through it.

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JY January 19, 2011 at 8:00 pm

It takes guts and also a STRONG DESIRE to understand the “why” in every action. Some would say this is subjective, but I like to refer to it as awareness…therefore, for all of us who have experienced adversity (which is ALL of US!!!)…allow yourself to revisit these events and begin to understand why you do/did what you do/did and be honest with the person in the mirror!

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Mike Blackstone January 19, 2011 at 3:55 pm

Hi Jared
I knew you would be back. I consider us like the class of 2009—we began our websites about the same time, and connected very soon after. The most inspiring for me is the absolute honesty and vulnerability of your post. I know you would have it no other way. There is much for us to do and the training for making a difference is often intense. You’re not alone, there are many, many of us bonded with you.
—Mike

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JY January 19, 2011 at 8:01 pm

I know that you are making great things happen in your world because your mission is in complete alignment with giving back to a world which has provided so much opportunity for the masses. I encourage you to never stop recognizing yourself and to always be proud of the person who looks back from the mirror….big things on the horizon my man…never stop believing!

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Lesa January 19, 2011 at 7:11 pm

Jared-
I am so moved by your honesty and vulnerablity. Talk about transparency!!! Something tells me you will be 180 degrees away from all of this in the next year (or sooner). These are valuable lessons and they will make you even better than you were before because there is no greater wisdom than that which comesfrom experience, especially negative events. Those of us who belong to that club wear our badges proudly.

You are a beautiful person and your bravery will inspire more people than ever before.

Kudos and the best of everything :)

Lesa

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JY January 19, 2011 at 8:06 pm

Thank you for sharing these kind words and for recognizing me. The irony of this situation is that my intention was not to be given “pats on the back” for the journey that I experienced, but rather to allow EVERYONE who reads this message to realize that an identity crisis is only temporary. There will be moments when we are finally honest with ourselves and this will be the time when we break the shackles within our existence and begin living on our own terms. I feel so fortunate that I was chosen as the messenger for this philosophy because now I have the opportunity to share my truth, while inspiring others to find their own. Therefore, if you, Lesa, wear the “badge,” (AS ALL OF US DO)…then where it with PRIDE because you deserve to acknowledge yourself for all that do, all that you have done, and all that will be accomplished in the future…but in the meantime…LIVE IN THE NOW and LIVE IN A WAY that others are inspired by!

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Julie January 20, 2011 at 1:13 am

i have google reader to thank for letting me know you had a new post today. i haven’t commented much..if ever.. but i found your site right as you were drifting from it and despite your new posts your words helped me focus in 2010. on a personal level 2010 had no big highs or lows, but on a professional level it was the best year ever. i know what i want and despite it not being a typical career path i’m moving forward with my dreams. my challenge for 2011 is to work better with the life/career balance.

thanks for sharing and being honest… as a blogger i know it isn’t always easy.

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JY January 22, 2011 at 10:43 am

Thank you for allowing yourself to be vulnerable Julie and for supporting our vision here at Brandentity. I visited your website and I am impressed to say the least. I can sense your passion in your work, and although it is not the “typical career path,” by societies credentials, if it were not for people like you, the world would be an extremely status quo oriented place. We need visionaries who do not seek the path of least resistance so that our world continues to innovate while never becoming stagnant. Keep on doing what you do and I welcome you to always share your thoughts with the revolutionist…

Onward and upward for all!

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