Do you YEARN to be Free From Your Titles?

JY — Fri, 19 Feb 2010 04:15:32 +0000

One of the many purposes of developing a BRANDENTITY for yourself is to look in the mirror and see the real you, to be proud of the image which looks back, and to feel like you are consistently remaining congruent with who you truly are as an individual. It is about taking a step in the direction of where you want to go, while accepting your past memories as stepping stones, but ultimately leaving them behind. One of the potential barriers to establishing your BRANDENTITY is associating yourself with “titles” from years ago and today. However, what I have found is that some people will hold onto their past or present circumstances, such as an addiction, failed marriage, financial loss, disease, career difficulty, and label themselves with these challenges.

But what if someone were to ask you to describe yourself without these labels—what would you say?

This is usually a difficult question to answer because we often associate ourselves with the titles we have in our world; parent, attorney, anorexic/bulimic, husband, wife, alcoholic, etc., and as a result, when we begin to think about who we are independent of these labels, we often feel lost because all we see is a blank canvas. We do not remember who we were prior to the disease, becoming a parent, getting married, or being consumed by a self-destructive addiction, and as a result, we are unable to picture what our life would be like without this “title” because we believe this is the root of our recognition.

I understand that we often have pride, or even hidden shame, in our titles because it provides us with a sense of accomplishment or an avenue for attention seeking. But this is simply the surface level of “who you are” and “what you stand for” because your identity is something far deeper. It is about looking in the mirror and realizing what brings an immeasurable amount of passion into your life, what enables you to lose track of time and place, and what results in moments of unconditional happiness. This could have something to do with being a leader, a healer, a contributor, an inspirer, an educator, or simply a supporter. This is your identity and it has nothing to do with your title as a parent, a lawyer, or a recovering addict. Your identity is not having cancer, being an alcoholic, or suffering from depression. Your identity is your ability to love yourself, and goes far deeper than the surface level. I am not going to tell you how to define your own personal identity, as this is a choice only you can make, but I encourage you to realize that hiding behind your “title” will not provide you with the sense of joy that is a requirement for living a life worth living.

There are many approaches and strategies to realizing you are more than a “title,” but the foundation of this process deals with determining who you are without your various labels. This will become an identity journey, one of the most difficult experiences that will transpire in your world, yet reward you in more ways than you could ever imagine. The most tedious aspect of the development of your own existence is becoming conscious to the fact that you may have been hiding behind a title for your entire life. Initially, this may have been assigned to you by your teachers, preachers, parents, or societal pressures. As time continues, you may have associated yourself with being an athlete, the most popular child in school, or on the debate team. This was followed by the title of graduating college, choosing a career, marriage, parenthood, and anything else that transpires in your world. As you can see, there is a chance that your identity is based on the events in your life, as opposed to your inner being which is something that only you have the ability to define. It is important to realize that these various stages of growth comprise dimensions of your lifeline, but they should not determine what makes you…YOU!

This process is going to take you on identity journey that will result in confronting untapped emotions associated with labels from your past and present. It will force you to expand the perimeter of your comfort zone in order to define your BRANDENTITY, but as you progress, you will begin to realize what brings a smile to your face, joy to your world, and most importantly, freedom from your titles!