What I often find with people who suffer from living an identity-less life is that they try to find purpose in pleasing the world, but neglecting their own needs. I have always been an advocate of giving for the sake of giving and contributing to define your purpose, but with this being said, your personal well-being can not be ignored because then you will have an identity for everyone other than yourself.

There is a special person in my life who I will refer to as a “Do-Gooder.” This individual would literally sacrifice the quality of her life for the sake of the people in her world. She will go to the depths of the ocean and back to help others in need. And she will forfeit the “who she is” for the people she cares about most. The only problem is she is always doing, doing, and doing, while never taking the opportunity to just BE! As you have noticed, the logo for BRANDENTITY is B.E. because this signifies what we need to do in order to begin living the life that we create for ourselves, as opposed to the life that someone or something creates on our behalf.

I have a feeling that many of you will be able to relate to this concept because you may believe that the cure for your pain is helping others, which results in forfeiting the time you need for yourself. This might be the direct result of doing for your children, your loved-ones, your friends, your career, your parents, but never for yourself. I understand that many of you might obtain great satisfaction in seeing someone else smile as a result of your “doings,” but I am here to tell you that this fulfillment will be short lived if you do not take time for your “beings.” It is important to realize that I am by no means stating that people should begin to act selfish and only care for themselves because I do believe there is an incredible sense of purpose associated with helping someone achieve something in their life that they never deemed possible. I also think everyone has different circumstances and one person might have a significant amount of responsibilities that someone else does not have. I am completely aware that there are only twenty-four hours in each day and we all have twenty-five hours of items on our personal daily to-do list. I am not telling you that your “being time” needs to take away from your “doing time,” and I am not telling you that your “being time” should be X number of minutes, but what I am saying is that you NEED to allow yourself to just BE, for however long you desire every single day!

The act of just being will enable you to be more focused and present during your doings. You will no longer resent the people who are requiring your assistance because you have had your daily dose of being. However, there may be another challenge that could surface as a result of providing yourself with time to just BE, in that you continue to think about what you need to DO! This is a self-fulfilling prophecy because you desire to spend time with yourself, but your thoughts are not allowing this to occur because you are consumed by everything you still need to do for the people in your world. This could even consist of thinking about someone who is in a depressed state and putting yourself through their pain during your time to just BE. This is the sign of a “do-gooder,” instead of a “be-gooder” because you are sacrificing your well-being for everyone in your world. Keep in mind that with all of the doing that is taking place, you are actually being selfish by not taking the time for yourself. There are countless scientific studies which prove stress is one of the predominant killers in our society and people who do not allow themselves time to just BE may accelerate their own demise, disabling them from being present in the lives of the people who need them most.

I am not going to define what being should be for you, but it is important to determine what allows you to escape the minutia of your everyday life, and enjoy the time you have with yourself. Therefore, when you begin to act as a people pleaser, remember that the first person who needs to be pleased is YOURSELF!

So take some time, everyday, to just B.E.!

Are you a Be-Gooder or a Do-Gooder?

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Some pictures from Flickr.

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My fellow BRANDENTITY members, we have an issue that needs to be addressed that has nothing to do with an IDENTITY CRISIS, nothing to do with compromising ourselves for someone or something, and nothing to do with any insecurities that are preventing us from living the life we deserve. Instead, there has been a NATURAL DISASTER in Haiti that has resulted in over 200,000 deaths, an estimated 250,000 injuries and 1.5
million people made homeless (latest CNN report). Haiti needs our help and they need
it NOW.

I have a good friend who is from Kenya, but currently resides in the US. About ten years ago, he began donating $100/year to his country in order to help build schools so that children will have the opportunity to become educated, resulting in the potential for a better tomorrow. He never realized the impact that this “measly” $100 was going to provide, until he visited his country and met with the director of the organization responsible for dispersing the funds. This individual asked my friend if he would like to see where his money has gone and what his generosity has created. The long and short of this story is that once my friend saw the impact that $100 can have on a country in need, he began donating $500/year. The point of this story is that many of us may feel that donating a $1, $20, $100, or even $500 is nothing of substance for a country, and instead, we keep this money in our pockets. I am here to inform you that regardless of the size of the donation that you give it will create a better tomorrow for people who are in dire need of our support. Please do not play the comparison game and feel inadequate about others who are able to donate $1,000’s because it is all relative and like one of my first blog posts stated, “There is nothing as profound as GIVING for the sake of GIVING!”

Therefore, when you make your donation, what I encourage you to do is envision what will be created as a result of your generosity. A country needs to be repaired and your dollars will result in the restoration of Haiti. Whether the organization of your choice uses these funds to build schools, homes, or simply clean the country, I firmly believe that your donations will go a very long way.

Please CLICK on the organization below or any other organization that is focusing on saving the country of Haiti. For the members of BRANDENTITY who currently reside outside the US, please find organizations in your country that are contributing to this cause. Anyone who has already donated, I admire you for all that you are and all that you will be…THANK YOU!

CARE USA

Habitat for Humanity

World Concern

World Vision

AmeriCares

One of the fundamental steps to realizing what makes you…YOU is to spend time helping others in need. Obviously, many of us will be unable to physically visit Haiti in order to rebuild the country, but what we can be their in spirit and share our abundance with people who are in dire need of our support. Be proud of whatever amount you choose to donate and remember to always recognize yourself for all that you do because NO ONE could ask for anything more.

I feel honored to have a team, a following, and a family as admirable as all of you.

Have a wonderful weekend and ALWAYS be TRUE to YOU!

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Some pictures from Flickr.

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It is has been slightly over a month since the launch of BRANDENTITY and I wanted to take a moment to express my complete and utter gratitude to all of you. The membership of BRANDENTITY has been growing at a significant pace, but even more importantly, breakthroughs are already taking place. I have been asked to speak, interview, and write for a variety of sources, which has allowed the IDENTITY REVOLUTION to become part of the vernacular of people around the world.  But the intent of this blog post has nothing to do with me, but rather everything to do with all of you. I admire your courage to become pioneers in this process and subscribe to a blog that is for the most part, unlike anything that currently exists. Although we have only just begun this journey, and I know that there are thousands of people around the world that will join us once they feel ready, it has truly been an honor to embark and create the BRANDENTITY Empire with all of you.

Many of you may not understand why I feel this intense sense of gratitude for simply inputting your email address, watching a few videos, listening to audios, and reading blog posts on a weekly basis. Many of you might struggle accepting these acknowledgements because human nature tends to reject recognition because of our difficulty in receiving praise. Many of you might think that my appreciation is inauthentic because you do not believe that you deserve to be honored in this fashion. But I am here to inform you that the ACT OF RECOGNITION, for yourself and for others, should become part of your daily routine as you never know how far a good deed will travel. In this scenario, the “good deed” is simply acknowledging people, and yourself, for all of the wonderful contributions that are brought into the world. What I often find is that we rarely take the time to inform our network of family, friends, colleagues, acquaintances, and ourselves about how fortunate we feel to have them in our lives. This could be a parent, loved-one, child, friend, CPA, chiropractor, librarian, supermarket clerk, taxi cab driver, etc. What if you became 5% more conscious to the people in your world and provided 5% more “communicated appreciation” for all that they do?

This blog post obviously ties into Thanksgiving where everyone is able to celebrate their gratefulness for the people in their world. It is a time when families get together, stories are shared, and recognition is in the air. But like everything I do, I want this Thanksgiving to be different than the prior years because I do not want it to come to an end on November 26^th. I do not think that there should be a particular twenty-four hour time frame where we express how we truly feel; and instead, we should make the conscious effort to include this routine on a daily basis. But in order for this strategy to have the far-reaching effect that I believe is possible, we have to learn how to receive gratification. A perfect example of this concept occurred just the other night, when I was a keynote speaker at an event in Indiana. At the conclusion of my presentation, I received a double standing ovation. There have been times that I have seen speakers shift their entire physiology when provided with a round of applause and I believe the reason is because they feel unworthy of this acknowledgement. But as I stood in front of the crowd, I accepted this recognition and felt proud of myself. At no point did I not understand why I was receiving this reaction; at no point did I feel the need to reject the gratitude; and at no point did I feel it was inauthentic. I earned that double standing ovation and I felt pleased about the “who I am!”

The point I am stressing is that when people approach you and express how much you mean to them, accept their gratitude because otherwise, they may stop offering it. Thanksgiving is a time to give and RECEIVE thanks and I want you to focus on the receiving because once you master this area of your life, you will begin to live with an even greater sense of self worth and be proud of the person who looks back at you from the mirror.

Happy Thanksgiving to all of you and please accept my complete and utter gratitude for believing in me and creating a foundation for BRANDENTITY.

How well do you receive “Thank You’s?”

What does this mean to you? Please leave a comment.

Acknowledgements for the picture from Flickr

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Have you ever taken the time to think about how far a good deed could travel? This is an interesting question because I believe that far too many of us shy away from “giving for the sake of giving,” because we believe that our non-monetary contributions are inconsequential in the bigger picture of life. For some reason, we are under the impression that simply expressing how much we admire, care, or acknowledge an individual will only travel so far. But I am here to tell you that this is not the case because our words are VIRAL. Our words have the ability to enter someone’s heart, in an instant, and etch a place in their soul, which could result in altering millions of lives due to our ability to take the time to recognize this individual.

My belief is that the world is searching for someone who unconditionally cares. This does not necessarily mean that this individual needs to become a lifetime partner, but for the moment when paths are crossed, the act of compassion, combined with the willingness to serve another, could literally circle the globe as a result of the recipient’s newfound perspective. When someone begins to feel good about the “who they are,” they will begin operating from a different frame of mind and develop a desire to share their story. Let’s think about the BRANDENTITY INTERVIEWS because each individual, who I am so fortunate to speak with, is not being compensated other than the ability to share their story. This interview provides an opportunity, which leaves each person fulfilled, as they realize the far-reaching potential they may achieve from sharing their message with the world. Each of these interviewees has the possibility to transform the existence of millions of people as a result of their willingness to be transparent. This epitomizes the Compounding Effects of Giving and the viral capacity of a good deed.

I was thinking how I could enable you to envision the power associated with unconditional caring, and although the example that I am about to discuss might seem extreme; it captures the essence of giving for the sake of giving. Imagine a mother, who recently went through a divorce, and is now responsible for raising three children on her own with limited financial resources. She begins working three jobs, simply to cover her expenses, and keep a roof over their heads. During her dismal state, a co-worker approaches her and says, “I just want to acknowledge you for everything you do because you have become an inspiration for me. I recently separated from my husband and felt empty inside, but as a result of watching how you live your life, it made me realize I can do anything!” In this situation, both women gave to one another in the form of an example and an acknowledgement. The single mother of three proceeds to her second job as a waitress, with newfound energy as a result of the compliment she received, and approaches a child who is dining with his parents, but not provided with any attention. She talks with this boy and asks him, “What do you want to be when you get older?” The entire physiology of the boy changes as he declares, “A fireman, but my parents want me to be a lawyer.” The single mother of three, who just received the compliment and is feeling incredible about herself says, “Well, I want you to know that I believe all of your dreams can become realities.” In order to make a long story short, this child, who was given “unconditional caring” from the single mother, ended up becoming a fireman who received recognition for his heroism in saving hundreds of lives. One of those lives became a doctor who developed a medical device for heart valve replacements and another became a teacher that influenced the lives of hundreds of children. I like to refer to this phenomenon as the Compounding Effect of Giving.

It is important to realize that this is an extreme example, but exemplifies how our words can be viral. The catalyst for this domino effect was a simple act of recognition directed towards a woman, who was experiencing extreme challenges, which triggered her sense of consciousness, resulting in the empowerment of a child to follow his dreams and save hundreds of lives. The inverse of this is also true because our negative words have the potential to paralyze people and destroy aspirations. Imagine if the single mother was not recognized and remained in her state of depression, unable to be conscious and thus unable to impact those around her. There is truly no way to measure the distance that our words will travel, but with this being said, it feels substantially better to infuse possibilities into someone’s life, rather than criticize and destroy someone’s desires.

Therefore, our words, both positive and negative, are viral, and I want you to realize that although you will never know how far reaching your message will travel; it still feels wonderful and fulfilling to give for the sake of giving…

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Acknowledgements for the Picture from Flickr