Are you able to say that your life is “PERFECT?” What I am asking you is whether you operate from the domain of full self-expression where you experience everything that life has to offer without limitations set by your mind. I was having a conversation with someone, who is an extremely important individual in my life, about this philosophy because it is something that we embody, share, and attempt to portray to the world as a model of endless possibilities.  But before I begin, I would like to take a moment to share my definition of PERFECTION which is…

The ability to feel fortunate with what you have, while being open to the possibility of having more, but BEING abundant regardless of whether or not anything changes.

Unfortunately, we have been conditioned by society to believe that this concept is unattainable. We live in a world where mediocrity has become accepted as the norm. And the byproduct of this way of life is an impediment upon our growth and overall fulfillment. As a result, we become programmed into believing that living as a shell of who we are is our destiny.

Who told you that a dead end career is probable?
Who told you that growing older will lead to sickness and disease?
Who told you that an unhealthy relationship is inevitable?
Who told you that conformity is the only way to “fit in?”

I am not speaking directly at YOU, but rather I am sharing my perspective on society as a whole. Acceptance of mediocrity is one of the root causes to the identity crises that the majority of our world will experience at some point in their lives. I am sharing this because I experienced it last year. I accepted mediocrity in my career, my relationships, my health, and with the who I was as an individual. I felt that I lost what makes me…ME! I accepted a mediocre life, and as a result, I was expressing myself as a mediocre individual. But this article is not only about my recognition as to where I was and my newfound ability to state that for today, “MY LIFE IS PERFECT—FOR ME,” but rather I hope to challenge all of you to find where this “shows up in your life?”

Because what I have come to realize is that mediocrity is contagious and will expand as it consumes your way of being. Initially, it might surface within a relationship, but I guarantee that it will infiltrate other areas of your life. The reason people get comfortable living an average life is because it is not harmful nor is it bad, but you better believe that it is NOT PERFECT! And I will stand by the fact that ALL OF YOU deserve to live a life of perfection based on how you define this term. You deserve to have it ALL…the love, the success, the health, and most importantly—YOU! But in order for this to materialize and become something real, I think it is critically important to understand how it surfaced in the first place. Therefore, here are my observations as to why so few people live a life of limitless possibilities…

1.       We are lazy. Someone once told me that “LIFE is HARD WORK,” and in that moment (by the way, I think I was 9 years old) something about these words did not resonate with me, but I was unsure as to why until now. Life is NOT HARD WORK! However, if that is the story you continue to tell yourself, than you will accept a mediocre existence where the somewhat probable, unfulfilling, limited life will be the inevitable. But once you give yourself the permission to change your story, you will begin to recognize that life is not work at all, but rather a conscious effort to confront your challenges so that you can achieve what you ultimately desire. So, what do you want from your LIFE? This is a question that ONLY YOU have the power to answer as you possess the free will to create “YOUR PERFECT LIFE.”

2.       We have no (or limited) self-worth. I went out for dinner about three months ago and one of the people who were present told me that no one in her world cares about what she has to say…and was convinced that this was the TRUTH. So I asked her, “Where was this belief born?” She had no idea as to what I was referring to, so I took it one level deeper and asked, “Who in your past ignored you when you were speaking?” In that moment, I saw a distinction become REAL as she told me that when she was five and playing with her cousin, he ignored her when she was speaking by turning away. I then made the following statement, (and I encourage all of you to think about how this concept shows up in your life because this is WHY you may be accepting mediocrity), “Do you realize that as a result of the action that your five year old cousin took by ignoring you, you have allowed yourself to BELIEVE that people do not value what you have to say for the next 25 years of your life? Is it worth it?”  

3.       We think perfection is unattainable. We live our lives with self-limiting beliefs as to what is truly possible in order to “play it safe,” and then justify our actions or inactions with the story that something is NOT POSSIBLE. Because if this is what we tell ourselves, then why would we even try to achieve it. But I am here to express a sentiment that I hope resonates with all of you. I have the family, the relationship, the friends, the career, the health, and the ME! Does this mean that I do not experience challenges? Does this mean that I am coasting? Does this mean that chaos does not enter my world? ABSOLUTELY NOT, but what it does mean is that I am open to the possibility of living a life of PERFECTION and NEVER settling or accepting mediocrity in ANY area of my existence. With this being said, I am NO different than any of you, so please recognize that perfection is VERY MUCH attainable.

4.       We are afraid. Whether you have lived within the domain of mediocrity for a year, ten, or even your entire life, the UNKNOWN is the most significant barrier to action because human beings are afraid of what is possible. Living within the domain of mediocrity will guarantee ONE THING…an unfulfilling, inevitable, predictable, and limited existence. And if you are okay with that, than BE AFRAID and remain in this place. But if for some reason you are no longer satisfied with being part of what society has labeled as the norm, then face your FEARS and be open to the possibility of living a PERFECT existence. This is not subjective, but rather it is something that you can feel, something that can be experienced every moment of every day, and something that will allow you to understand  that regardless of what takes place in your world, NOTHING will steal YOU from YOU!

In closing, everything about life is man-made. Business is man-made, relationships are man-made, and your health is man-made. What I mean is that all of you have the power to “MAKE YOUR LIFE” in whatever capacity you desire. But what I must emphasize is that you DESERVE to live a life where you are capable of uttering these words, “MY LIFE IS PERFECT—FOR ME!”

So what will it take for this to become YOUR REALITY…?

What does this mean to you? Please leave a comment.

Some pictures from Flickr.

During a recent Mastermind with one of the groups I am involved with, we began discussing the essentials of life. What do we NEED in order to truly live to our full potential? We started by listing many of the leaders in the personal development, philosophical, and spiritual worlds, who have developed their own list of human needs. With all of this research, I decided that it was important to discover the essentials in my life, or inother words, what components must be present in order to TRULY LIVE? I realized that everyone has their own unique needs and place different values on what must exist in their lives. The freedom of choice, that we all possess, enables people to establish an identity for themselves. But with this being said, I realized that there are nine essential areas that lead to a life worth living.

I encourage you to think of a picture with nine buckets. Each bucket represents one of the essential principles to living a life with meaning. You have the ability to line up these buckets based on your values, but what you must keep in mind is that each bucket needs to be filled to the brim in order to thrive. I would like to forewarn you that it is possible to have bucket with a hole in the bottom. As you begin to fill this bucket, the substance leaks out, leaving you unfulfilled in this area of your life. The choice is to either get a new bucket or to plug the one you already have. What I realized when developing this philosophy is that in order to TRULY live in a way that you have never deemed possible, where you prove the impossible is possible, love each moment of each day, and embrace growth and prosperity, you must

LIVE in PEACE!

Love- There is nothing as profound like the ability to give and receive UNCONDITIONAL love. When we LOVE, and I mean truly LOVE, we Let Everyone View Everything, especially ourselves!

Importance- Deep down, we all want to be important and recognized. We want our life to have meaning and significance. There is nothing as painful as feeling like you do not even matter.

Vitality- Without your health and vitality, you have nothing. All of the money in the world means nothing without an excellent quality of life.

Excitement- A life without excitement is a life without meaning. We need to live as if each day were an adventure because the amount of uncertainty that you have in your life is directly correlated to miracles being born!

IN

Purpose- In order to define your purpose, you must decide what brings passion into your life and use this emotion as the foundation to determine what you intend on giving back to this world.

Endurance- This enables you to prevail during any situation because there will always be some form of challenges that you need to face. Those who endure, who hold on for one second longer, are the ones who rise to a higher level while achieving their dreams.

Abundance- Living in abundance means that you are able to focus on everything you have, as opposed to everything you have yet to achieve. Your family, health, career, finances, and any other accomplishments, should add to your feeling of abundance.

Contribution- There is nothing as profound has contributing to the life of someone else. Whether you provide advice, support, guidance, money, or any other resource, giving for the sake of giving brings meaning into your existence.

Evolution- Stagnation is not an option in life because the world around you is in constant motion regardless of your level of involvement. This means that in order to evolve, you must always extend the perimeter of your comfort zone so that growth can occur.

The beauty of philosophy is that we all have the ability to create our own ways of thinking. Therefore, take these nine principles and arrange your proverbial buckets in whatever order resonates with you the most. If your life consists of five buckets or maybe ten, then please provide a comment below because I am always interested in learning the basic human needs of others. But what I want you to takeaway from this message is that you will choose the order, but you must fill each bucket over the course of your life. If there is a hole, fix it or get a new one. You obviously cannot “get a new life,” but you can change the way you are living by determining what you value most and how you want these values to be present in your life.

I thought this message would be important to share during the holiday season because this is a time that we often analyze, whether it is consciously or subconsciously, the most important components in our lives. We have time with our family, we have time with our friends, we have time with ourselves, and we must remember that in order to thrive during any of these times, we must LIVE in PEACE!

Happy Holidays to all of you who are celebrating and I encourage you to enjoy each moment of these festivities because YOU DESERVE IT!

What are the ESSENTIALS in your life?

What does this mean to you? Please leave a comment.

Some pictures from Flickr.

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I would first like to start by wishing everyone a Happy Holiday. I was recently in a conversation with someone, and they began complaining about the holiday season because they are forced to spend time with their in-laws, shop for gifts, run errands, and the list went on and on. These frustrations left me somewhat puzzled because I experience an incredible sense of excitement when the holiday buzz is in the air. Personally, I do not think that we should celebrate on specific days for the purposes of tradition, but rather, express our thanks, love, and pleasure for the people in our world on a regular basis. But this is not the intent of this blog post, and instead, I would like to discuss the stress associated with the holidays and how all of us have the ability to experience enjoyment versus the magnitude of tension that enters our world.

The holidays are meant to provide us with time to be with our family, friends, and ourselves. We may receive recognition, gifts, and love, and I personally do not know what is better than these acknowledgments. But with all of this being said, we often do not provide ourselves with the opportunity to enjoy the moment, experience the emotions, and just let loose.

What I have found is that many people associate the holidays with pressure, and even a greater number of people yearn to get back to their “normal” routine because their working life is far “simpler” and less hectic than their holiday life. Does this mean that you are just so enthusiastic about your career that you desire to return to the workplace; or, does this mean that time with the family leads to feelings of pressure? I believe that the “holiday blues,” will potentially be on the rise this year, as a result of the extreme financial setbacks people are experiencing which could exacerbate an already “stressful” time. But does it truly have to be that way?

What if you were able to re-associate the holidays and grant yourself permission to enjoy each moment while eliminating the strain that you once felt?

After many conversations, and taking time to analyze this debacle, I believe that I understand why the holidays lead to incongruent emotions. As the month of December approaches, the anticipation of enjoyment and high-level expectations lead to inflated levels of pressure, making it almost impossible to truly take pleasure in the holidays.

Let’s assume that there is a continuum in your life during the holiday season where one extreme is stress and the other is enjoyment.  With each event that takes place during this time period, you will either be heading in the direction of your choice, or the direction that is undesirable. With this being the case, I am going to provide you with a strategy that I have used in the past called Re-association, which enables you to take the negative stress from your past and shift your perspective in order to enjoy the present moment.

I decided that the best way to begin this exercise is to ask people about stressors they experience during this time of year through various discussions on Linkedin. I am confident that these 9 areas comprise the main components of stress in your life, but if there is a challenge that you are facing that I have not addressed, please contact me via the ASK JARED section or just leave a comment, and I will work with you to overcome this barrier.

1. In-Laws

Without your in-laws, you would not have the fortune of being married to the love of your life. Without your in-laws,you would not have the pleasure of having children. Although they might be difficult, remind yourself that these people have enabled you to have a family and experience love, which are two of the fundamental principles in life.

2. Shopping

Shop within your means because there are no gifts that will ever surpass the value of your love that you provide to the people in your world. If you do not have anyone to shop for, I encourage you to purchase a small gift for someone you know who is in need because the act of giving will bring incredible joy to your world.

3. Parties

Realize how fortunate you are to be invited to these parties. Recognize how wonderful it feels to laugh with your friends and family. Appreciate how incredible it is to watch the people in your world smile while attending these gatherings.

4. Food Choices

How liberating will it feel to experience self control this year? Once again, start with the end in mind and pretend like it is January 4^th 2010,  because this is usually the time when people begin to get sick due to their poor choices. This year, you can choose not to join this group, and instead, re-associate your food choices and control these urges.

5. Errands

Just go with the flow. Whether you are running around with your spouse, children, parents, friends, etc., feel fortunate to have these people in your world. Make the best of the situation by telling jokes, reminiscing, or simply just holding hands!

6. Preparation

You will need to prepare for the festivities, but at the same time, start with the end in mind, and picture everyone smiling from ear to ear because the holiday time is here. There should be no pressure as the only person judging you is yourself, and since you have committed to the re-association process, you will realize that the only thing that matters are the little things that bring you love and joy.

7. Competition

“WHAT IS THE POINT?” When we allow ourselves to begin the comparison game, regardless of when it happens, we will always lose. The holiday season is not a competition, rather a time to simply enjoy yourself. Forget about what you did last year, forget about who gives or receives the best gifts, and forget about whether or not the food meets the standard of everyone at your party. These are all surface level insecurities, whereas the holidays are the time to enjoy the little things in life.

8. Loneliness

This is stressor that often surfaces with a single parent, widow or widower, abandoned child, etc. Although this is going to epitomize the P.O.P (POWER OR PERSPECTIVE) mentality, I encourage anyone who deals with this stress to get outside your comfort zone, and stop wallowing in your own misery. Visit an orphanage, senior center, friend’s house, singles party, shelter, etc. Giving for the sake of giving will enable you to feel like you have contributed in a positive way and etched a mark in someone’s life. If you step outside your world, and your suffering, you may just discover the immense power you have to change someone else’s life and make a huge difference in your own.

9. Blended Families

Having come from a blended family, I know this often leads to stress, but does it have to? Feel abundant because you will may have the opportunity to celebrate, more than once, and enjoy the holiday season with several groups of people who love you more than the world.

I understand that the re-association process is something that sounds wonderful in theory, but might result in some difficulty when it comes to implementation. But what I encourage you to recognize is that the amount of stress you inflict upon yourself is YOUR CHOICE. You have the ability to make this year different than the past, rather than expecting the worst, and continuing with your old pre-programmed ways of thinking. Be a leader and empower those around you to shift their perspective, re-associate, and answer this question:

If the Holidays don’t bring you joy, than what does?

What does this mean to you? Please leave a comment.

Some pictures from Flickr.

Please click on the play button in order to listen to an audio of this blog post.

Click here to download an MP3 for your IPOD or ANY MP3 Player…