It is possible to say that our world will never be the same because of a group of heroic, courageous, and fearless leaders, the US Navy Seals, who put their lives in harm’s way in order to end an era of toxicity which was led by Osama Bin Laden. I am not here to go on a political tirade, nor am I am going to discuss my beliefs on what will manifest as a result of our actions, but what I will do is share an interesting philosophy. On May 1, 2011, the United States of America began celebrating the death of an infamous figure, who was responsible for one of the most viscous and tragic events which has taken place in the history of the world…9/11. But as the United States culminated with cheers of joy, there were people in other countries who were not rejoicing, but rather paralyzed with anger and pain. The same event happened in the same world, but yet, people from two distinct geographic areas and beliefs, interpret these events completely different. This obviously held true on 9/11 because as the United States suffered and mourned the loss of so many people, (and our sense of security); other countries raided the streets in fits of joy, excitement, and the illusion of power. Once again, the same event took place in the same world, but yet, people from two distinct geographic areas and beliefs interpret these events completely different. So although there are a plethora of lessons which can be discussed from what took place, I believe most of these principles are on a macro level and somewhat abstract if applied in our everyday lives. But as I was working out early Monday morning, and the nine flat screen TV’s in my gym were all echoing the same sentiment about the events from the evening before, I began to think about what YOU AND I can learn and integrate into our lives. And then it struck me…

The same event took place in the same world, but yet people from two distinct geographic areas and beliefs, interpret these events completely different.

Whether the “event” was the end of Osama Bin Landen’s life, or the Yankees winning the World Series, or the changing of power in the House, these are all events that represent the law of DUALITY. One group celebrates, while the other suffers. Same event, same world, different interpretation.By no means am I comparing the Yankees to Osama Bin Laden, but I wanted to emphasize this point, and then help you realize where this COULD be showing up in your life. Those of you who are blessed with the fortune of love and intimacy by means of a marriage or relationship may have had this exact same experience surface at some point during your life. For example, has there ever been a time when your significant other asked you to spend an evening doing something that you really did not want to do? Your immediate reaction may have been “NO or NOT INTERESTED!” That moment represents an event where the premise of DUALITY is flagrantly obvious as you celebrate your fictitious victory by “not giving in,” while your significant other suffers. This could also “show up” in your career, your relationship with your children, with your personal health, and many other areas as well. What I encourage you to recognize is that there are ALWAYS two sides to each event, one that celebrates and the other that suffers. So why is this so important?

 When it comes to Osama Bin Laden, some would say justice has been served, while others believe that a monumental leader has died. This might be an extreme example, but regardless how many times have you asked yourself, “How will the other person feel based on my actions (or inactions)?”

It comes down to a simple premise to live by…CONSIDER the perspective of others! I know the macro event of Osama Bin Laden does not even compare to telling your significant other that you do not want to consider their request, but on a micro level, within your relationship, it means the world. So my challenge for you is the following…

Today or tomorrow, operate from a place of consideration, where you literally put yourself in the shoes of the opposing party, and think about how you would feel based on the action, or inaction, that will be exerted from where you were prior to making this shift. This philosophy is something that will yield magnificent achievements in your life because it will have you recognize the power of duality, which I define as…

For every action (or inaction) there are two perspectives present, one which celebrates and the other which mourns.

Therefore, prior to the action, or inaction, place yourself in the perspective of the other party and then ask yourself this question… “Is it worth it?”

When it comes to Osama Bin Laden, the answer is obvious and I want to commend the US NAVY SEAL, and our entire country, for never giving, never backing down, and for BE-ing an example of what is truly possible when you combine a vision and never give up mentality…I am proud of our country.

But for all of you…HOW DOES THIS SHOW UP IN YOUR LIFE? 

What does this mean to you? Please leave a comment.

Some pictures from Flickr.

I hope that the past few weeks have been as wonderful for you as they have been for me. Each time I sit down to share a new philosophy or experience that has recently taken place in my life with all of you, I find myself not knowing where to begin or what I should communicate first. As a result, I have written article after article, but now it is time to share.

Brandentity is about to grow in a way that I have always dreamed of, and in the coming weeks there is going to be an extremely exciting announcement that I will make. I have always believed that Brandentity possessed limitless potential as to what it could become. I am not sure if all of you realize this, but in the early phases of this movement, we gained incredible momentum because of the vision of what was truly possible. The platform began as a solution for an epidemic that I believe infests our world; one that expands far outside the scope of what we see on the surface –the recession, obesity, healthcare, divorce, drugs, suicide etc. but is actually rooted deeper within our personal existence. What I am referring to is destroying our lives and coined as an Identity Crisis. This can show up in a variety of ways, whether it is within your career, relationships, parenting, health, etc. The root of this crisis is that whether you allow the world to see this pain and anguish, or you internalize it, you begin to live a life in which your environment has no workability and the outcome results in you becoming a shell of your true self. Maybe what I share does not resonate with you initially, but what I ask is for you to delve deeper into your existence, literally to your core, so that you can begin to understand who you are as an individual and what is holding you back from living a life where you achieve your fullest self-expression. This has been the mission of Brandentity from Day One, but what is about to happen is truly transformational, and I am eager to share this with you.

In the meantime, there are so many lessons which I have learned as this initiative is about to come to fruition and one of them surrounds the concept of coincidence. There have been countless occasions in my life, and I know that all of you can relate, where one of two things may have taken place:

1.)    I label an event or experience as a coincidence or “fate-esque” OR

2.)    I say “Why me…why does everything (bad, negative, difficult, etc.) have to happen to me?”

First and foremost, the term coincidence is derived from the word coincide which can be defined as “to correspond exactly; be identical,” or in other words, a PERFECT match. Therefore, nothing is a coincidence and nothing “happens” haphazardly to any of us during our lives. I can think of a number of events which have taken place, whether they surrounded the emotions of love, pain, fear, or challenging times, where I would immediately label the occurrence in this monumental fashion for no reason other than to define why it took place. But what I have come to realize is that all of us are EXACTLY where we should be at all times. This has nothing to do with our actual location in the world, but rather our whereabouts in our own existence.

This also relates with the concept of time because when these events take place; such as falling in love, starting a business, ending a relationship, or taking care of a loved one who is ill, these occurrences seem to manifest in our lives when we are ready to handle them—whether we realize this in that moment or not. Let’s pretend that life was a puzzle, and each experience represents a piece.  Therefore, if you are a visual minded individual, (and most of us are), look at life through that perspective and simplify the “events” by telling yourself that these are just PIECES.  I think it is important for me to delve deeper into this philosophy because if you are able to find where this concept “shows up” in your life, I am confident that even more meaning will be attached to where you stand today.

For me, the theory of “time is everything” is obviously not new, and I have heard it on a number of occasions in my past, but it has recently become an absolute reality for me in many areas of my life. Regarding Brandentity, I briefly mentioned how this organization is on the cusp of a transformation due to a newly established opportunity. But without all of the other PIECES which I have acquired over the years, I would not be who I am in this very moment, and as a result, this potential may have never been realized. These PIECES I am referring to were business successes, business failures, and various life events. These pieces have provided me with a foundation to build upon so that I can take my personal vision to an entirely new level. Another example lies within relationships because we often wonder “what was the point of a relationship that ended and why does everyone I get involved with tend to be ‘wrong’ for me?” However, each individual acts as another piece to “our puzzle of life,” guiding us to where we belong.

I am sure that all of you have had your heart broken and in that moment you pleaded for mercy, or maybe you are still holding onto the pieces of “what could have been,” and as result, you might not be allowing yourself to experience your next love, which could be your true love. But what I recognize is that the “fate” you may have attached to your previous relationship was a story that justified why this partner was not “right” for you. I am obviously not uncompassionate about feelings, but I have become more of a realist in the past 12 months and began to look at life through the lens of “what is” as opposed to what I create in my mind. I know that your breakup was painful, but without this experience you would not be where you are today—whole, complete, and perfect in this moment. And you might experience another breakup, or maybe you will get fired, or maybe sickness will enter your world, or maybe you will start a company and fail, or maybe you will miss your plane flight, or maybe you will be late for work. Think back to 9/11, an event which has etched a place in the lives of every single person who was alive during this time. How many stories were there of people who worked in the World Trade Center and for some reason, on the morning of 9/11, they were either late, stuck in traffic, ill, or just took a day off? The stories are endless, but the reason I use this as an example is because this is not a coincidence. Remember the term coincide means a “perfect” match. Those people who did not go to the office that day were exactly where they should have been in their lives in that moment. Once again…time is everything.

It is also important to recognize that you cannot fake or create your fate because this is derived well before you had a say. I am not going to go on a spiritual tangent at this moment, but instead, I share this with you because something that I have seen many people struggle with, (myself included), is accepting life for what it is. Remember, from my last blog post, our context is decisive, which means that the words we attach to the event which takes place is what will manifest because it is what we believe. So if you went through a painful divorce, lost all of your money in the stock market, connected with your “soul mate,” won the lottery, or did not get the business deal that you desired, I want to emphasize the importance that this is not coincidence, nor is it the universe trying to “get revenge,” but rather this is exactly where you should be in that moment.

I think back to the many experiences in my life which were neither positive nor negative (although in that instant you better believe that I labeled them) because they were simply events. So as Brandentity takes on a new life, as your world will always take on a new life, and as we progress together, I ask that you recognize life for what it is and remember that nothing is coincidence and everything is a “perfect match,” because we are always exactly where we should be at all times.

What “PIECES to YOUR PUZZLE” come to mind?

What does this mean to you? Please leave a comment.

Some pictures from Flickr.

These past two weeks have been magnificent in a way that I actually have trouble communicating, but I will give it my best shot because what I have learned is something that I hope all of you will embrace. The feedback that I received from my last blog post was a catalyst for my newly realized level of overall abundance about life. I literally had people from all over the world commenting, writing, and thanking me for revealing my TRUTH because it empowered them to begin approaching their own. The concept of TRUTH is profound because I believed that my STORY, the one I told myself EVERYDAY, was perceived as a far “safer” place to reside than my reality. Justifying my actions and inactions with a fictional tale as to why my choices were best suited for me was easy, and I literally convinced myself that everything was status quo. But hindsight is 20/20 and I am now aware that my essence was lost in an abyss of stories, self-directed lies, and a burning desire to feel secure.

This past weekend, I had the great fortune of celebrating a few birthdays with a group of my friends. It is always wonderful to connect with people who represent so many memories in your life because it enables you to reflect on the past. During this encounter, I spent quality time with a “long lost friend,” whom I was incredibly close with during our youth, but as time went on, we ventured in different directions.  As we spoke, we began to reflect on this past year, but keep in mind that he knew nothing of what took place, all that he knew was that I moved back to New Jersey. The irony of this conversation is that my friend actually saw me in March of 2010, at my “18 degree mark,” when I transitioned into the private equity opportunity, began a relationship and moved in together, started spending enormous amounts of money, got a second dog, etc. etc. etc. The 18 degrees occurred at a Whole Foods in New Jersey, where we bumped into one another after not seeing each other for almost three years. The discussion was brief, and then we went our separate ways. However, when we saw each other on this past Saturday, he told me that in our previous encounter, he felt that I was not the same Jared Yellin that he knew from the past. How is it possible, that someone who only entered my life for a moment was able to see how far I had drifted from my true self? Why didn’t I see what he saw? How is it possible that someone can be looking at their reflection daily, and yet not recognize the contradictions that someone else can see so clearly? When did I become so blinded and spiral out of control?

I found this conversation intriguing as this realization was enlightening. What I learned is that some people in our world have the ability to look at our circumstances through an objective and unbiased lens, with no ulterior motive, other than the fact that they care about our well-being and are able to see something that we are unable to see in ourselves.

After discussions with one of my mentors, he referred to my life as being stuck in the groove of a vinyl record, going round and round, listening to the same song over and over again. This song represents the fictional story that we tell ourselves about our lives. This song is our perceived TRUTH. This song is what keeps us stuck until we stop listening.

With this being said, I would like to share another realization that I confronted in these past few weeks. Due to a year of contradictions, I have made the commitment to immerse myself in being congruent with people, things, and events. Therefore, I recently joined a philosophy group and in our meeting, there was a woman who shared “her story” about her current relationship. She was talking about her mate of three years, and how she is consistently unfulfilled because of his actions and inactions. She feels like the love in her relationship is waning, yet they have been together for many years and leaving is currently outside the realm of her possibility. As she continued to share “her story,” there were many questions which were posed in order to simply induce thought, not to sway in either direction, but instead, to help her begin to see her TRUTH. As the conversation unfolded, she focused on the moments in her relationship that she interpreted as wonderful while completely ignoring the toxicity of their union. These moments represented vacations, nice dinners, events, sometimes intimacy, etc. This woman was holding on to her “song” of a first kiss, three years ago, and neglecting the multiple challenges which surfaced throughout their existence. I am sure that many of you can relate with the concept of holding onto the pieces of yesterday, instead of being open to the possibility of having the ENTIRE “thing” today and tomorrow. This woman’s “story” was the narration which echoed in my mind for the past 365 days. And then the challenging question was asked…

“What would your life be like if you no longer held on to the pieces of possibility, and instead opened yourself up to endless possibility?”

Please do not breeze through this question because if there is an area in your life where you are literally scavenging and clinging to memories of when things were “great,” then I would like to enlighten you based on my most recent revelation that nothing will change. Your decision to let go may result in being alone, unemployed, or even financially challenged, but I firmly believe that letting go of yesterday’s pieces will be more fulfilling and result in endless possibilities.

At the 18 degree mark of my 360 degree journey, the world knew what I had yet to discover, the same way that our group knew what this woman was unable to see in her reflection. The world knew that I was stuck, the world knew that she was holding on, and the world knows that many of us tell ourselves a story, a justification, and a skewed sense of reality because we are too afraid to FACE our TRUTH and listen to a new song.

I hope that this message has a far reaching effect in your lives because as I sit in front of the computer, I can actually visualize the 1000+ Identity Revolutionists reading this message and revealing your TRUTH. At times we are stuck in our story and listening to that same song. We all have MOMENTS, and I stress moments, where we feel trapped, almost like we are fighting in the darkness and the light has yet to be seen. But what I encourage you to do is dig deep and provide yourself with the permission of honesty so that you can let go of the pieces of yesterday, and enjoy the entire “thing” of today, so that tomorrow and everyday forward will provide you with the endless possibilities that are available in all of our lives once we let go…

What are you holding onto…?

What does this mean to you? Please leave a comment.

Some pictures from Flickr.

It has been months since we have connected, and although I cannot say that I am back and better than ever, I have returned with more clarity and a greater understanding of what makes Jared Yellin who he is as a person. Although our most recent correspondence has been sporadic at best, during this hiatus I was not sitting back and allowing the world to pass me by, but rather I was learning more about myself than I ever thought possible.

When Brandentity was first launched, I felt like I was literally on top of the world. My career was soaring; the identity revolution was growing rapidly; my thoughts and actions were congruent; I was living a life of health and wellness; I was closer with my family and friends than ever before; and eventually, I began a relationship with someone whom I thought was the missing piece in my existence. I was abundant in every sense of the word, and if nothing were to have changed, I would have lived a life of complete and utter fulfillment…or so I thought—I felt invincible. I say this with no disrespect or ignorance, but rather with a level of complete transparency of my emotions.

As 2010 began, I was introduced to a group of investors who were in the process of a large merger and acquisition of a nutraceutical company. They offered me the opportunity to take on an enormous amount of responsibility as a manager of the company and the spokesperson for all marketing initiatives. Simultaneously, I pursued a relationship with someone whom I thought was completely congruent with me, as I was with her, and we decided to move rapidly, forgoing the formative experiences that “might” be essential when it comes to building a foundation for a thriving relationship. As time progressed, I began to lose what made me who I was and began to suffer from an identity crisis.

The irony of this realization is that I still had an enormous following as a result of Brandentity, and many people would contact me on a regular basis with the desire to understand how I “found myself” at such a young age. During this time, I literally received 100’s of messages surrounding the concept of an identity crisis, but was unable to respond as I suffered from the same epidemic as many of you. I literally could not look at the website; I could not reach out for speaking opportunities; and I could not respond to people who were asking for advice…the year Brandentity was launched, was the year I lost myself. The once “so together” Jared Yellin was spiraling out of control as my passion for life was dormant and my beliefs of what was possible became non-existent.

But how could this happen when I literally just launched Brandentity? How could I make comments about introspection and finding myself, and how my past no longer dictates my present, and how I was unscathed by my parents challenging divorce, and how my tagline was “confidence is my presence, never tense, never hesitant?”

How could I be this blind???????????????????

And now, 360 degrees in 365 days later, I can tell you that I was not blind, I was not ignorant, and I was not lost. I was deaf because I refused to hear the screaming of my intuition that things were so incongruent; and instead, focused on the superficial components of my life while ignoring the guidance of my inner voice.

So here is my update, and I share this with you because I have a feeling that many of you have either experienced a journey like this in the past, are currently on an adventure like the one I will share, or are perpetually living in an abyss of chaos.

The private equity deal could not have been further from what I was looking to achieve in my life, even though on the surface I had everything when it came to finances, responsibility, and opportunity. It was strictly a business, and although I love the dynamics of the business world, I realized that I need to associate myself with like-minded individuals who are driven towards giving back to humanity. This did not exist, nor was it ever going to exist, but the opportunity did provide an enormous amount of autonomy which enabled me to support my relationship and everything that it entailed.

Over this year I made the choice to pick up my life on two occasions in order to keep the relationship intact, even though my intuition was screaming that something was not right. I literally gave up who I was and my desire to be congruent in order for this relationship to work, and although this was at no fault of the other person, the choices that I made were fueled by the contradictions that existed in my life. As time progressed, we moved to an extremely small town in Virginia, and although my inner voice was adamantly against this decision, I ignored its presence in fear that the relationship would not survive unless I was physically with the other person. This move was a pivotal experience because I was now living in a place where I did not belong, in a career which represented a contradiction, and in a relationship that was stifling and unfulfilling for both parties. How could the Jared Yellin, who once felt inordinately abundant, feel so alone and empty?

I am here today as a messenger, because what I am about to share is something that I recently learned. The only thing that truly changed in my world was the superficial, and I always had ME, but I was consumed by my perception of my circumstances. I literally was unable to look at myself in the mirror because all that I saw was a giant contradiction. I was once the person who wrote about pursuing their dreams for a career, yet I put my world on hold for an opportunity which was not in alignment with what I am looking to achieve. I was once the person who wrote about love as the most profound emotion, but was in a relationship where it did not truly exist. I was once the person who stressed the importance of nutrition and exercise, yet I was no longer concerned with my personal well-being. I was once the person who was financially balanced and in control of my fiscal life, yet my infatuation within my relationship led to the demise of my bank account because I thought that all of the superficial “THINGS” would substitute for the lack of love. These outside influences dictated my personal level of fulfillment, and as a result, I felt alone and empty. It is so easy to listen to the echoes of the outside world as they influence your decisions, but your intention must be focused on your inner voice and your intuition.

As time went on, something motivated me to reconnect with the company that I was with prior to the private equity deal. I did this with no intention of returning, but rather because I was in dire need of support and guidance from a group of people who played an integral part in my growth. During our first conversation, it became extremely apparent that I had unfinished business and it was time for me to return. Sometimes in life you don’t know what you have until it is lost or until you have a moment of reprieve where you are finally honest with yourself. Simultaneously, the relationship, which was once everything that I thought I wanted, began to fall apart, and it was time for the two of us to go our separate ways.

Therefore, as I sit in a Starbucks in Englewood NJ, I have literally gone 360 degrees in 365 days; living in NJ with my supportive family and friends, with the same incredible company, and ready to be part of this revolution with all of you. This journey has been the most humbling experience of my life because it allowed me to confront everything that I do not know about myself, while forcing me to come to terms with the fact that I am not invincible; actually I am no different than anyone. None of us are…we really are all the same regardless of our wealth, intellect, looks etc. We are all profound individuals, the only difference lies in our ability to listen to our inner voice.  My unconscious being was literally screaming at me since January of last year that every decision I was making was not in alignment with what I was looking to achieve in life, but I chose not to listen. Besides sickness or disease, there is no such thing as being blindsided or surprised by what life throws your way because if you were to allow yourself to delve deep into your internal being, the answer would have been apparent the entire time. Whether you go through a difficult breakup, make a poor investment, or take a risk in your career, your intuition will always be there to guide you as long as you allow this voice to be heard.

So 365 days later, I have less money, I am single once again, and I might have “wasted” a year of my business life, but what I gained is something that no money, no time, and no relationship could ever replace…what I gained was awareness, what I gained was a deeper sense of consciousness, and what I gained was genius as to what I still do not know. Therefore, I could not feel more fortunate about the last 365 days of my life and I hope that as we progress together, you will allow me to share these lessons with you.

In closing, here is one of my favorite poems, something that I read years ago as a result of a very special person in my world, something that captures the essence of what I have learned…

The Man in the Glass by Peter “Dale” Winbrow Sr.

When you get what you want in your struggle for self
And the world makes you king for a day,
Just go to the mirror and look at yourself
And see what that man has to say.

For it isn’t your father or mother or wife
Whose judgment upon you must pass.
The fellow whose verdict counts most in your life
Is the one staring back from the glass.

You may be like Jack Horner and chisel a plum
And think you’re a wonderful guy.
But the man in the glass says you’re only a bum
If you can’t look him straight in the eye.

He’s the fellow to please-never mind all the rest,
For he’s with you clear to the end.
And you’ve passed your most dangerous, difficult test
If the man in the glass is your friend.

You may fool the whole world down the pathway of years
And get pats on the back as you pass.
But your final reward will be heartache and tears
If you’ve cheated the man in the glass.

Thank you for all that you do, thank you for supporting and believing in our mission, and thank you for always being YOU!

What does this mean to you? Please leave a comment.

Some pictures from Flickr.

I am back from my three-week adventure and I feel better than I felt in a number of months. This experience has led to personal growth, intense thought, a relationship which has reached an entirely new level, and the rebirth of PASSION. In my last message, which was sent prior to the business trips and vacation with Lindsay, I decided to be completely transparent and share the contradictions which were “eating away” at my existence.

A number of months ago, I discussed the concept of being constipated with emotions and unable to express yourself due to the fear of what might manifest. In essence, I am referring to being vulnerable and allowing your “weaknesses,” to be revealed to the world without even considering the consequences. During my three month “funk,” I was unable to take my own advice and I allowed my fuel, or in other words my emotions, to fester inside and steal my existence. This was a difficult yet profound period of my life because it forced me to assess what Jared Yellin is all about and then to redefine, and continue to recreate the who I am, the what I stand for, and the what makes me…me. I realized that an identity is not something that we achieve, but rather a process we must immerse ourselves in, even if we are uncomfortable as a result of the unknown. But as I have shared, I had many people in my life telling me what I already new and asking me all of the right questions, but the problem was that I was unwilling to provide the honest answers as to why I was experiencing a loss of identity. And then Lindsay opened my eyes and forced me to go through a process of introspection, in which honesty was my only choice, as she enlightened me to find myself once again—the passionate, the motivated, and the determined Jared Yellin who had and will always have the vision of spearheading the IDENTITY REVOLUTION.

My intention behind this message is not to reiterate the lessons that I have learned because you are more than welcomed to read my prior message entitled, I Am No Different Than You, but rather to share something with you that signifies the Law of Attraction, the Power of Perspective, or simply opening our eyes to the endless possibilities on the horizon. Because on July 9^th , as I was enjoying my romantic vacation in Costa Rica with Lindsay, the unexpected happened when I was published on one of the most influential personal development websites, “My Daily Insights.” This occurrence is extremely symbolic because “My Daily Insights” was one of the first introductions to motivation, personal development, and the concept that our words hold enough power to change the way we do things. When I became a subscriber about seven years ago, I always dreamed of having a quote or a piece of my writing published so that the world could be introduced to Jared Yellin and experience his passion for life. The irony of this particular situation is that I submitted this article, I Will Be Happy When, about seven months ago, and it was not published until my perspective on life was at a point where the message would resonate in the lives of the masses. I firmly believe that if I remained in that funk, this piece of writing would have never been presented to the 1,000’s of people who subscribe to this site, and as a result, many people’s lives would not have been touched and potentially changed. I had literally 100’s of people write to me as a result of this publication expressing their gratitude for my words and their desire to stay connected. This defies the concept that our thoughts are real, they are tangible, and once we decide to take control of them, anything and everything becomes possible as it is attracted into our existence. Many of you might think this is “new age philosophy,” or quirky, or far too spiritual, but I am here to tell you that regardless of what you think, this power exists for all of us. But you are in charge of when it will enter into your existence because once you make the conscious choice to look at your world through a different perspective, I guarantee that opportunities will become apparent that you never noticed before.

For those who do not believe in these concepts, I want you make sure that you understand that I am not trying to convince you to think differently than you have in the past, but if for some reason you keep on doing (or thinking) the same thing over and over, and have yet to manifest the results that you desire, then I encourage you to give this philosophy a chance. It is by no means simple, nor will the results happen overnight, but with a consistent effort and the consciousness to focus on everything that you have in the world, as opposed to what has yet to be achieved, I firmly believe that you will also experience something incredible.

That is enough from me as I do not want to preach, but what I want to do is let you know that the next few blog posts will be lessons that I have learned during my travels. I forced myself to be open to any experience that would present itself in my life and as a result, I have a variety of topics to share that I believe you will enjoy.

I also wanted to welcome over 590 subscribers to BRANDENTITY that have joined as a result of “MYDAILYINSIGHTS.” I want you to realize that this is not just another personal development blog, but rather a movement, or in other words, an IDENTITY REVOLUTION where you will begin to realize who you are, what you stand for, and what makes you…YOU. Get ready for the adventure of a lifetime and thank you for trusting me and joining BRANDENTITY!!!!  

What do you attract into your life?

What do you think…? Please leave a comment.

Thank you flickr for your pictures.

Many of you may realize that I have not posted a message in a few weeks and others have made an effort to contact me in order to see if everything was okay in my life. I need to be completely honest and upfront with all of you as to my rationale for not focusing on Brandentity and taking this hiatus. What I have come to realize is that an identity is not something that you achieve, but rather a process, and although I subconsciously knew this and spoke about it, I felt like I was almost invincible and in essence an outlier. I believed that I was in complete control over my existence, my emotions, and the outcome of all of my efforts. I did not realize that I was putting on a front for the world while hiding behind something that I refer to as my shadow. I thought I surpassed the challenges in my life so that they had little to no residual effects on my present being, and I thoroughly believed that I clearly found my identity. What I need you to understand is that at no point did I “pretend” to be someone that I am not, nor did I wear a mask of confidence so that all of you would be inspired by me; however, I recognize now that I got off track and began living a life of contradictions.

Many of you may think that my “credibility” is now lost because how could I create a concept like the Identity Revolution and not practice what I preach. And others might think that my transparency is inspiring because it enables you to realize that I am no different than any of you. But what I encourage everyone to understand is that your individuality is what you make of it, and regardless of the external events in your life, it is your responsibility to remain congruent, in alignment, and most importantly, TRUE to yourself. These past three months have resulted in EXTREME change for me. The reason I am sharing this with all of you is because I know that you can relate on some level. Maybe your periods of change are different or feel like they are perpetually occurring throughout your lives, but what I learned, and I continue to learn, is that periods of change cannot result in a loss of individuality.

Personally, I stopped reading, I stopped writing, and I stopped everything that made me…ME! Although I believe that you need to transition rather than get stuck in your ways, as life’s challenges present themselves, I recognize the importance of focusing on yourself before considering elements outside of your being. This has nothing to do with being selfish, but rather selfless, because if you are unable to live a life of congruence with who you are and who you want to be, then all is lost, and those around you will have difficulty recognizing you for being you. This catastrophe is exactly what I have been experiencing over the past three months. And it takes courage to be transparent with all of you because I know that there is a chance that judgment will be passed, while you question the philosophies that I have shared and will share going forward because I just admitted that I am living a life of contradictions. I need to work on finding myself once again, so that when I look in the mirror, I am proud of the image that looks back. But there is a lesson that can be learned during these early phases of searching for yourself. The purpose behind this message is to inspire those who can relate to my experiences since April. I have been in denial and unwilling to face the demons that I refer to as my “shadow” which was something that I thought no one could see but my subconscious, until I realized  the people in my world, who love me more than anything else, were completely aware of my struggle and conscious to my contradictions.

This happens to be the first step to finding yourself, whether it is for the first time or subsequent times, because we must be honest and willing to be transparent. Once I dropped my ego of confidence, and embraced the challenges from others, I began to realize that my individuality, in essence what makes me…me, was dormant. My parents addressed their concerns for weeks; and although I listened, I did not hear what they were saying because I was in denial. Those of you as fortunate as myself to have family who truly care about your well-being being might also, at times, ignore them when they speak from their heart. But what I must tell you is that even if I did not take action when I initially recognized my contradictions, they etched a place in my being and echoed in my thoughts. And then the other night, June 30^th at 10:00pm, I had a revelation because Lindsay; my soul mate, my lover, and someone who I can honestly call my new best friend, challenged me by saying, “Where is the Jared that I fell in love with?” I will never forget those ten words because that is all I needed to hear after spending weeks where my parents questioned my identity, and I debated with feeling lost—Lindsay hit the nail on the head and helped me to realize that it is time to focus on me.

For some reason, I began to think that my career, my finances, and all of the external things in my life would enable me to sustain the identity that I worked on for years, but what I have now learned is that there is nothing outside of yourself that will provide you with what you need to live a congruent life. You can’t say that once you have children, you will begin living a life free from contradictions; or once you get promoted; or once you get the bonus; or once you graduate from college’ because all of the “once’s” mean that you are waiting for something outside of yourself to help you find yourself.

What I encourage you to do is look within, be transparent, and then take action. I know this message could be interpreted in a variety of ways, and if I lost credibility in your eyes because I was honest about redefining and finding myself, then that is a risk I am willing to take to inspire those who are ready to be honest with themselves. Because what I have learned is that life is cyclical, and the moment that you feel like you are congruent and in alignment with your identity could be the instant that everything changes. Maybe it will be the result of sickness or disease, an argument with a family member, a career change, or financial difficulties, but regardless of when or where this surfaces in your life, I encourage you not to take the path that I did from April through June, and instead to embrace the uncertainty, associate yourself with others who will inspire you, and never lose sight of what makes you the person that can look in the mirror and be overwhelmingly proud of the image that looks back.

The final piece to this equation is that this “loss of individuality” will most certainly happen again. I am not being a pessimist, but rather a realist because I recognize that in life we will experience multiple times that I like to refer to as a “squat,” where we take one step backwards and potentiality stand stagnant, until we become conscious to the fact that we are off track. Once this takes place, and we become the “watcher of the thinker” as Eckart Tolle says, you will begin to realize that it is time to focus your attention on re-establishing your identity in order to bring yourself out of this place at a faster pace than ever before. Therefore, be comfortable with the unknown, recognize that your identity is not something that you achieve, but rather a process that you work towards, and look within in order to find yourself.

My commitment to all of you from this moment going forward is to keep you updated with my progress. I do not believe that results will be seen over night, but like Lao Tzu said, “The journey of a thousand miles began with one simple step.” Each day will be a step that I take in order to get ONE step closer to realizing who I am, what I stand for, and what makes me…ME!

I will be travelling from July 5^th-July 22^nd but I will document my experiences so that when I return I will inspire all of you to become leaders in your IDENTITY REVOLUTION. Thank you for standing by my side, thank you for always believing in me, and thank you for being YOU!

I also want to take a moment to thank my family for seeing something in me that I did not see in myself for the past few months. Your words echo in my mind and your love means the world to me. And Lindsay, I want you to know how fortunate I am to have you in my life. Your dedication to my personal growth is something that I have always dreamed of and what I want you to remember is that we are headed in the right direction…NOW and FOREVER. I love you…

What does this mean to you? Please leave a comment.

Some pictures from Flickr.

Since we are rapidly approaching the time of year where many of us begin the process of Spring Cleaning as we donate some of the clothes that do not fit, use the shredder on the paperwork that has been accumulating, and begin to simplify our lives; I thought it would be important to do something this year which has probably never taken place in your past. As a culture, we tend to hold onto the pieces of yesterday, even though we can have the whole (NEW) thing today. The pieces of yesterday may represent memories that have resulted in frustration, emptiness and intense anger. What I have seen is that people tend to allow events from years before; a family member forgetting to wish you a Happy Birthday, a manager’s lack of recognition for your hard work, or an argument with a loved one; severely impact the way you live your life going forward. Whether or not you realize that these incidences are influencing your decision making process today, I am here to tell you they are. These occurrences are occupying space in your mind, similarly to how people accumulate “stuff” that needs to be trashed.

Take a moment and close your eyes while picturing your dresser. If you are like most people, then your wardrobe is filled to the brim because of your resistance to rid yourself of the items from your past. In the drawers of the dresser you have garments you would never even consider wearing; items that are too small, out of style, or simply ugly. There is even a sweater you received on the holidays about 18 years ago which was hideous then, and even more revolting now. Although this wardrobe is overflowing, you continue to purchase new items and somehow strategize a way to squeeze them into the nonexistent space that is still available. The only problem is once you begin squeezing your “NEW” items into your drawers, they begin to wrinkle and lose some of their appeal. Natural human instinct tends to reach for the older items, which are worn in and “comfortable,” even if they do not fit appropriately, resulting in the NEW clothing being ignored and eventually getting pushed to bottom of the drawer, with the tags still hanging from the sleeve. Therefore, in order to change your image to become BRANDENTIFIED as the “new you,” you must Spring Clean and get rid of the older items.

This scenario captures the essence of how many of us live our lives by holding onto the pieces of yesterday and filling up our mental space with memories that need to be forgotten. As a result, there is actually no space for the “NEW” experiences that are taking place today. But until you make the CHOICE to let go of these memories, shred these events, and start Spring Cleaning; your mind will have no space for growth. The choice to hold onto your negative memories will result in an inability to become BRANDENTIFIED.

I have learned that in order to eliminate the darkness of your past and experience the lightness of your present and future, you must TURN ON your L-A-M-P, or in other words:

Let Go  

Accept

Move on

Proceed

Take a moment and think about the areas in your life, which are cluttered with emotions and memories from the past. If you were to implement the L-A-M-P Strategy by Letting go of these memories, Accepting what once was, and Moving onto a better present; you will then have the opportunity to Proceed to a wonderful future where you begin to realize what makes you…YOU! The result of being proactive and moving forward, rather than getting stuck in the past, is vitalizing and will leave you feeling energetic as you find more space in your mind to enjoy the LIGHTNESS of the present and future because your LAMP has been turned on!

Are You Ready For Some Spring Cleaning?

What does this mean to you? Please leave a comment.

Thank You Flickr For These Pictures

We live in a country that has been inflicted with events coined as crises from the birth of time. Some of these ‘catastrophes’ include various financial crises, the technology bust, Cuban Missile Crisis, flu epidemics, wars, healthcare crisis, global warming, pollution, terrorism, and unfortunately, the list does not come to an end.  But with all of this being said, the one crisis that happens to be the root to all of these epidemics in our nation’s history is the IDENTITY CRISIS—a crisis that everyone faces at some point in time. This crisis has the ability to plague our existence and put an end to our personal well-being.

As a result of my research on Identity Theory, coaching people around the country, and speaking engagements with an interactive audience, I have found seven potential layers which could hide your IDENTITY and steal your authentic self. What I realize is that the people who suffer from this epidemic feel empty, lost, and out of control when it comes to living their life. They feel like they are alone, while journeying to a place referred to as, “rock bottom.”

The goal of this message is to enable you to relate to at least one of the LAYERS and define the pain that surface in your world. Once you realize what has been preventing you from reaching your full potential, living with passion and loving life, you will be able to start the process of reclaiming your most precious asset…YOUR IDENTITY! There is a chance that a number of you may already be living by your own terms, and if this is the case I commend you, but I still encourage you to read this message in its entirety because I guarantee there are people in your world who are struggling with at least one of these areas:

1. Career

There was a point in my life when I worked in corporate America. This was an exciting time because I was networking, making tons of money, and learning about finance, but after about 6 months of the “rat race,” I began to realize that my employer was preventing me from being myself. As time continued, the identity crisis began to expand when I was told how to comb my hair, how to dress, and how to think; resulting in a feeling that my life was being created on my behalf. Many of you may relate with my past because your career has become a story and you are simply a character. I realize that not everyone is born to be an entrepreneur, and depending on your circumstances, leaving a career which is stealing your authentic self may not be an option, but what you can do is find something that brings an unquantifiable level of passion to your world and make sure to include this in your schedule every week. This could be a hobby, sport, or simply doing nothing and just BEING. The amount of time you participate is your choice, but the end result NEEDS to be fulfillment, excitement, and a never-ending desire to remain true to YOU!

2. Finances

The financial crisis has resulted in a number of suicides by people whose identity was the money in their bank account. When you associate your identity with money, “things” (houses, cars, jewelry, clothing, etc.), vacations, etc., the result will always be disappointment. Finances are often used to hide an insecurity, but the result can be catastrophic because you live a life of fallacy as your personal void of self-worth continues to consume “who you are.” A solution could be to find something SIMPLE that brings a smile to your face and include this in your weekly schedule. This could be as straightforward as spending time with your family, nature, or even reading a book. The choice is yours, but I encourage you to begin enjoying the simple things in life.

3. Physical Being

There is currently an obesity crisis in our country, but the foundation is an IDENTITY CRISIS. We associate ourselves with what we look like whether it is our weight, the color of our hair, our skin tone, and anything else that disables us from enjoying the moment because we are too consumed with our physical appearance. This tends to negatively affect other layers because when we are uncomfortable in our own skin, we often ruin the relationships in our lives, perform inadequately in our career, and potentially become addicted to something that will “ease the pain.” There have been a number of people who I coach that suffer from image disorders, but what I have found is that the pain goes far deeper than their external layer. Their pain surfaces from their past preventing them from living their life in the NOW. It is critically important to understand that change starts from within, and changing your diet or exercising is not going to solve your physical identity issue, but what has the potential to be a solution is to work with either a coach or group of people who are struggling with your challenge. Share your stories, find solutions together, and realize you are not alone.

4. Relationships

In a time where divorce rates have reached astronomical levels, I believe that the statistics are not accurate and should be even more substantial because far too many people are living in relationships that are missing the foundational ingredient—LOVE. During a recent speaking engagement at a school, I spent some time watching how many of the parents interacted with one another. I watched how they held hands, kissed, or lack there of. I witnessed how they spoke to one another, looked at one another, or lack there of. I am not going to make a statement without any proof, but I am a firm believer in watching the physiology of people because words can be manipulated, but your body movements cannot. Many of these individuals were sacrificing their identity for the sake of their relationship, they were compromising their authentic self for someone else in their world, and they were living a fearful existence because they felt trapped. I am not sure if you can relate with this emotion, but if you can, ACTION must be taken. This does not necessarily mean that you should end something without taking the time to mend these wounds, but it does mean that everyone involved needs to give and receive love. Take time for your relationship and realize it should not be HARD work, but rather WORKing together!

5. Past Events

All of us have had past external events take place which have molded and shaped who we are today, but the one dilemma which tends to surface is that we allow these occurrences to become part of our identity. The result is living a life as a shell of yourself where you consistently feel empty because there is an unanswered and undiagnosed pain. Subconsciously, you know that something has happened in the past, but the pain was so severe that you have forced yourself to forget about these events without ever taking the time to heal. I have never met someone who has not had any painful events occur in their past, but the reason why only a percentage continues to struggle, while many thrive through life, is the interpretation of these events. Life is like a puzzle where each experience represents a piece in your existence, and without all of these pieces, the puzzle would never be completed. This might be a difficult concept to address because these past events have resulted in such extreme pain in your life, but in order to grow we must let go of what once was, accept what is, and reach for what will be. Whether this is sexual abuse, a prior fight with a loved one, or anything that may have taken place, it is time that you answer this question—why hold onto the pieces of the past, if you can have the whole thing today?

6. Addiction

This layer tends to surface because of an identity issue in a different area of your life and results in pure destruction. People believe that they receive attention as a result of their addiction and fear the loss of relinquishing this label. It is critically important to realize that the time is here and the time is now to begin working towards freedom from this addiction. Join support groups, capture the emotions (video, audio, writing) when they surface, and begin to get transparent with yourself.  The first step to overcoming an addiction is informing yourself that you have one. Once you become aware, the next step is to try and find what was the cause for this effect, and then spend time healing from this pain, even if it happened years ago. Remember, an addiction is the effect of an identity crisis in another region of your life, but has the potential to completely destroy the quality of your life and possibly lead to your demise.

7. Disability

I recently met an individual who allowed their disability to prevent them from living their life. His disability has truly stolen his authentic self and completely consumed his identity because he is unable to live to his fullest extent. He associates fear of failure with his disability and will often not even make an attempt due to the humiliation of not succeeding. I know that this individual is not alone and that many people in the world were born with a disability, and as a result, will not allow themselves to live their life. They become frustrated with all activities, often do not find love because they feel unworthy, and tend to have a negative outlook on their daily existence. I honestly do not have a solution to overcoming this identity issue, but a strategy that I have seen work on a number of occasions is making a list of all of the attributes in your world which bring intense pain. Once this is completed, make another list with all of the positive things in your world. The outcome of this assessment is based on you level of honesty, but I firmly believe that your positive list will FAR outweigh your negative list. Be proud of your inner YOU and focus on what you bring to the world as opposed to what you are unable to deliver.

These are the seven POTENTIAL layers hiding your Identity. I do not believe that everyone is suffering from an IDENTITY CRISIS, but I do believe that many of us fall into at least one of these layers. What I have also found is that an IDENTITY CRISIS is similar to a snowball effect because your pain may surface in your relationship, which then negatively impacts your career because of a lack of focus, and the outcome is an addiction to drugs, over consumption of food, or depression because of the pain from the identity crisis in a different layer of your life. The reason it is important to be aware of this concept is because I believe that a level of consciousness will enable you to reverse the process while beginning to live the life that you DESERVE. It is important to understand that these results will not take place simply because you are now aware of the challenges and pain you are facing, but once you begin taking ACTION, you will slowly reclaim your authentic self. Dr. Gabriel Cousins once said, “The personality is a case of mistaken identity…we are all born original, but why do so many die copies?” The CHOICE is yours and once you decide to live the life that you create for yourself as opposed to the life that someone or something creates on your behalf, you will finally realize, what makes you…YOU!

What layer are you hiding behind?

What does this mean to you? Please leave a comment.

Some pictures from Flickr.

Just the other day, I was celebrating a holiday with my beloved family, and helping my youngest brother with a puzzle. The puzzle had 1100 pieces and was rather difficult, but I enjoyed creating this masterpiece. As I was building the perimeter, in order to provide the two of us with a basis for completion, I began to think about how a puzzle is synonymous with our lives in more ways than many of you may have considered. In life, we have an unquantifiable number of experiences which take place, representing pieces to our puzzle, and with each of these pieces, we end up getting closer and closer to completing the puzzle and moving on to the next. I do not think that we have ONE puzzle for our entire life, but I do believe that each area of our lives has a puzzle, which represents a chapter in our existence.

Some of the pieces, or experiences, are used for the purposes of building the border for your life. These experiences are fairly basic, but provide a foundation for growth and a sense of security, while preparing you for what is to come. I spoke about this concept with one of my closest friends, and he said that the difference between a puzzle that you build, and the puzzle of your life, is that you do not have a cover to use as the guide in order to know what your puzzle should look like before starting. Although my friend is viewing this example from an extreme surface level, he does make a valid point because I do think that many of us struggle when it comes to creating an image to help direct us through life. It is almost like purchasing a puzzle in which the cover of the box is blank. We have no idea if we are building a castle, a village, or simply an ocean. We don’t know where to begin and many of us, may never even start. We look at this unknown puzzle with confusion, frustration, and maybe even a sense of fear.

The reason I am bringing this to your attention is because on the journey to BRANDENTITY you need to know what your puzzle will look like once completed. You need to picture yourself being, doing, and having an identity that you create for yourself as opposed to an identity that someone or something creates on your behalf. How will this feel? What would you do? And, ultimately, what will this look like?

What I encourage you to realize is that unlike a puzzle that you build, where the image on the box will be the image you create, the puzzle of your life will remain dynamic because as you acquire additional pieces, they may take you in a different direction than you imagined. The perfect example of this philosophy is my mother and stepfather. The two of these people epitomize what love is all about. Their union results in a relationship of growth, unconditional caring, and support. My mother was divorced for fifteen years, and had many men come in and out of her life, all of which provided her with a piece to her puzzle of love. But as time unfolded, her puzzle was completed and the image that appeared, was my step-father. If my mother did not place all of the pieces over the course of her life, then her puzzle would remain undone and she would still be on a quest for love.

Although I provided an example using the concept of relationships, this is true in all areas of your life; including your career, family, spirituality, health, and everything in between. With this being said, I must forewarn you that the acquisition of puzzle pieces will result in a variety of emotions such as happiness and sadness, excitement and fear, and clarity and frustration. But what you must keep in mind is that every experience contributes a piece to your puzzle of BRANDENTITY and once the puzzle begins to take form, you will finally realize what makes you…YOU!

So build the border, envision what your life will look like when living on your own terms, and take one piece at a time to find who you are and what you stand for…

What does your puzzle of life look like?

What does this mean to you? Please leave a comment.

Some pictures from Flickr.

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One of the many purposes of developing a BRANDENTITY for yourself is to look in the mirror and see the real you, to be proud of the image which looks back, and to feel like you are consistently remaining congruent with who you truly are as an individual. It is about taking a step in the direction of where you want to go, while accepting your past memories as stepping stones, but ultimately leaving them behind. One of the potential barriers to establishing your BRANDENTITY is associating yourself with “titles” from years ago and today. However, what I have found is that some people will hold onto their past or present circumstances, such as an addiction, failed marriage, financial loss, disease, career difficulty, and label themselves with these challenges.

But what if someone were to ask you to describe yourself without these labels—what would you say?

This is usually a difficult question to answer because we often associate ourselves with the titles we have in our world; parent, attorney, anorexic/bulimic, husband, wife, alcoholic, etc., and as a result, when we begin to think about who we are independent of these labels, we often feel lost because all we see is a blank canvas. We do not remember who we were prior to the disease, becoming a parent, getting married, or being consumed by a self-destructive addiction, and as a result, we are unable to picture what our life would be like without this “title” because we believe this is the root of our recognition.

I understand that we often have pride, or even hidden shame, in our titles because it provides us with a sense of accomplishment or an avenue for attention seeking. But this is simply the surface level of “who you are” and “what you stand for” because your identity is something far deeper. It is about looking in the mirror and realizing what brings an immeasurable amount of passion into your life, what enables you to lose track of time and place, and what results in moments of unconditional happiness. This could have something to do with being a leader, a healer, a contributor, an inspirer, an educator, or simply a supporter. This is your identity and it has nothing to do with your title as a parent, a lawyer, or a recovering addict. Your identity is not having cancer, being an alcoholic, or suffering from depression. Your identity is your ability to love yourself, and goes far deeper than the surface level. I am not going to tell you how to define your own personal identity, as this is a choice only you can make, but I encourage you to realize that hiding behind your “title” will not provide you with the sense of joy that is a requirement for living a life worth living.

There are many approaches and strategies to realizing you are more than a “title,” but the foundation of this process deals with determining who you are without your various labels. This will become an identity journey, one of the most difficult experiences that will transpire in your world, yet reward you in more ways than you could ever imagine. The most tedious aspect of the development of your own existence is becoming conscious to the fact that you may have been hiding behind a title for your entire life. Initially, this may have been assigned to you by your teachers, preachers, parents, or societal pressures. As time continues, you may have associated yourself with being an athlete, the most popular child in school, or on the debate team. This was followed by the title of graduating college, choosing a career, marriage, parenthood, and anything else that transpires in your world. As you can see, there is a chance that your identity is based on the events in your life, as opposed to your inner being which is something that only you have the ability to define. It is important to realize that these various stages of growth comprise dimensions of your lifeline, but they should not determine what makes you…YOU!

This process is going to take you on identity journey that will result in confronting untapped emotions associated with labels from your past and present. It will force you to expand the perimeter of your comfort zone in order to define your BRANDENTITY, but as you progress, you will begin to realize what brings a smile to your face, joy to your world, and most importantly, freedom from your titles!

Do you YEARN to be Free From Your Titles?

What does this mean to you? Please leave a comment.

Some pictures from Flickr.

Please click on the play button in order to listen to an audio of this blog post.

Click here to download an MP3 of this blog post for your IPOD or any MP3 Player…