Since the week prior to Valentine’s Day, I have been writing, talking, and thinking about love. I composed messages that I intended on sharing with all of you that I considered too philosophical, too long, or not appropriate for right now. Prior to last year, I would have been extremely frustrated for not delivering a message on this special holiday, but I have come to realize that all of us are EXACTLY where we should be in each moment. For example, my frustration for not broadcasting a message to all of you would have been a useless emotion that occupied “rent-free” space in my mind. So instead, I accepted what was and decided to allow the “right” message to evolve naturally. And after some introspection, I began to think about love in an entirely different light.

My entire life, I have been told by a variety of people that “love is hard work,” and as a result, I have adopted this perspective as part of my conditioned belief system. I am sure that I am not alone with this misconception. Often this philosophy has been engrained in many of our minds and manifests in our relationships in which LOVE becomes difficult, challenging, and hard work. But with this being said, I have made the choice to begin THINKING for myself; as opposed to what society and my surrounding world has attempted to bestow upon me, and change my philosophy that love is not hard work at all. This has nothing to do with semantics because the words we associate with the relationships, emotions, and choices that we make in our lives will ultimately manifest in all of our circumstances. Thus, if you say love is hard, then you better believe that LOVE will be hard. If you say that your job is impossible, then your job will be impossible. And if you say that you will never lose 15lbs, then NOTHING will allow you to lose weight. Our context is decisive, so choose your words wisely.

Now back to love, because what I have discovered is that love does not require hard work or even work at all, but rather an extreme sense of consciousness and the magnitude of your consciousness will dictate the intensity of your love. When I say an extreme sense of consciousness, it is not solely based on the quantity of time that you spend thinking about the other person. Instead, I am referring to achieving a level of awareness in which you understand your partner in a way that you actually reach the core of their existence. This deals with recognizing what they are thinking before they even say it, understanding their feelings before they are made known, and exceeding their desires when they are not even realized. Love is the being, thinking, and doing just because…When you achieve an extreme sense of consciousness for the love that you share with you partner, you experience unconditional joy regardless of the external circumstances in your lives. However, I want to emphasize that the intensity of your love must be based on the extreme level of consciousness that BOTH of you share in the relationship and with yourself.

With this being said, there are times when a relationship culminates and both partners go their separate ways and wonder, “What did I do wrong in this relationship…? I need closure.” WHAT DOES THIS MEAN!?!?!??! First and foremost, there are no right or wrongs in life or love. Everything is what it is and therefore, nothing was done wrong, and nothing was done right, because everything was just done. I believe that closure is a limitation that your mind has set so that you can protect yourself from moving forward and opening yourself up to what is truly possible. I must admit that for 48 hours after the culmination of my most recent relationship, I kept on repeating the quote from above, and guess what…MY WORDS WERE DECISIVE and I was unable to move on. It wasn’t until the 48^th hour hit, that I chose to express a different statement, “Nothing was wrong, nothing was right, everything was how it was.” This shifted my perspective and it permitted me to realize that closure was simply a self-limiting belief because I was afraid to move on, but since that 48^th hour, I made the choice to have closure.

What it comes down to is this, there is only ONE emotion that still exists which is completely natural and organic which is why it is profound and beautiful. This emotion is LOVE, and until the pharmaceutical industry decides to create a pill which prevents the onset of falling out of love or finding love, this will remain the case. There are pills to “cure” unhappiness, there are pills to “cure” loneliness, and there are pills to “cure” unhealthiness, but there are NO PILLS FOR LOVE because that is something which is unique to YOU! Therefore, the challenge for you is to accept the fact that LOVE is real. It is something that is born inside all off us, and it is the only “thing” which feels just as good to give as it does to receive. Love is at the foundation of our lives and if for some reason this emotion is not present for you, then I would like you to answer this question, “What beliefs do I have around the emotion of love which are preventing it from entering my life?” Maybe they focused on the concept of love being hard work, or needing closure, or whatever else you repeat to yourself on a regular basis. The choice is yours as to whether or not you allow this blog post to anchor a new conditioned experience in which a new conversation evolves, as your new context will manifest. Therefore, please remember that love requires an extreme sense of consciousness and the magnitude of your consciousness will dictate the intensity of your love.

How intense do you desire your love to BE?

What does this mean to you? Please leave a comment.

Some pictures from Flickr.

I would like to begin by expressing my sincere apologies for my absence during the last three weeks. I know many of you rely on BRANDENTITY as your beacon of hope in an extremely convoluted world, while others simply read for enjoyment with the desire to think differently than ever before. Regardless of how you use this platform for personal growth, I want you to know that I feel grateful in ways that words could never describe simply knowing that each of you represents an integral part of my life. Over the past two weeks, I have received countless emails from members of the Identity Revolution making sure that I was healthy, secure, and continuing my vision. This experience has allowed me to grasp the importance of what we are looking to accomplish in this world together and now I am back and better than ever.

The reason for my absence was because I moved into a new home with the love of my life, left one career in order to start a new chapter in my existence, as well as a number of other exciting changes that are propelling me to my next level. I decided that it was in my best interest, and in yours as well, to give BRANDENTITY a two week hiatus, as opposed to writing for the sake of writing. I honor all of your time and made the executive decision to wait until I was able to focus on the words that would leave my mind and enter yours. I will never take our relationship for granted and I feel the decision that I made was appropriate based on my situation. In addition, I am going to begin publishing one message each week because a number of BRANDENTITY members have informed me that they love the premise behind each article, but that they are beginning to feel overwhelmed with the implementation of these life lessons. They told me that if they had a few more days in between articles, these tenets would become part of their being and how they lived their lives going forward. Thus, I will alter the schedule based on this feedback, but will continue writing in hopes of helping you begin to live a more congruent lifestyle.

Now that I am settled in a new home, and beginning a life with a person whom I love, I want to share my experience of CHANGE because it is one that I hope each of you can relate to in your own unique way. CHANGE is something deep rooted in all us, yet often leads to the demise of many relationships rather than used as a catalyst to allow them to grow. How we encounter change is based on a number of factors which have been engrained in us during our formative years. These patterns are often difficult, but not impossible, to break so that each experience going forward will afford us an opportunity for growth, revelations, enjoyment, and unconditional love, as a result of how you react to the changes that are placed in your path.

Therefore, regardless of where you are in your life, (in a stagnant relationship or marriage, happily in love, dead end career, insecure about your physical appearance, single and seeking, dating and miserable, or anything in between), I hope that you allow yourself to read and re-read this message so that you have the ability to relate this premise to where you presently are and to where you want to go.

Many of the people in my world have been questioning my actions because the decisions I have been making could be viewed as overwhelming. People tend to “chunk” down their life for the purpose of simplicity, whereas I tend to focus my attention on doing everything at once. As a result, my girlfriend, Lindsay, and I made the decision to begin a life together, even though society would deem this as irrational based on the six weeks we have been together. This decision might seem “foolish” to most, but I am here to tell you that when you KNOW something is right…YOU KNOW. Both Lindsay and I have crystal clarity when it comes to our values in life, and as a result, we immediately knew that our relationship was one that would extend from now, through eternity. We possess young love, but rather than having this exciting emotion dwindle over time, we are committed to focusing on having our internal flame grow in a way that most would deem impossible. I know many of you may have had this at points of your life, while others are still searching for it, but I need you to know that you DESERVE to experience what true love is all about.

This is the type of love that enables you to go to sleep at night with a sense of security that your world is made up of you and your partner. This is the type of love that allows you to get excited, while your heart beats out of control, simply because you are about to see your mate. And this is the type of love that is congruent, in which each individual is bringing something to the relationship that results in a synergistic reaction, where both people grow in way they would have never been able to do on their own. Therefore, if you consider our decision of living together to be irrational, immature, or irresponsible, I encourage you to look in the mirror and ask yourself if this critique is based on what you believe or on what society has influenced you to think?

The reason I have taken the time to share the background of my relationship is because it completely ties into the concept of CHANGE. New relationships, having a puppy, career transitions, moving, purchasing expensive items, etc. could, (and more often than not), evokes stress, which leads to the potential for arguments, hurt feelings, quarrels, and an experience that could have been magical, “going south”. My intention is not to put Lindsay and I on a pedestal, but instead, to share what we learned over the past few weeks and then to encourage you to take our model and make it your own. We do not have all the answers, nor do we believe that what we have done will work for everyone, but what we do know is that far too many people allow their circumstances to dictate their personal level of happiness which leads to unfulfilled emotions and feelings of resentment. There is a cliché that I am sure many of you have heard in the past, but I want to emphasize the point that we can not control our external environment, but we are in direct control of how we allow our external environment to control us.

Challenges in life are inevitable, especially during times of change, but what you must realize is that regardless of whether you have a companion on this journey, or you are traveling alone, the end result will ALWAYS be the same. Your experiences are directly correlated to your choices regarding how you think about change. But there is caveat to this concept, because if you have a partner on this adventure, whether that be a friend, lover, family member, or anyone else, the end result will not always be the same, especially if you allow the stress of the unknown to stand between you and this person in your life.  Lindsay and I were moving items from four different places, finding new furniture, caring for a puppy, starting a new career, spending time with our families, and weathering one of the most horrific storms that the tri-state area has seen in years, but we focused on not allowing the “stress” from these events to stand between our love for one another. And in actuality, these experiences have made us closer than ever before. We allowed our excitement of the unknown to guide us to where we wanted to go, while immersing ourselves in the moment so this experience can be cherished forever.

With this all of this being said, there were moments where anxiety crept into the picture and it forced both of us to truly assess how we communicated and reacted to one another. Our relationship is new, and as a result, the changes that we were experiencing were exacerbated because we are also in the early stages of companionship. We needed to focus all of our energy on working together, as a team, for the purpose of achieving our desired result. Although we are only in the first few months of a lifetime together, this theory is one that holds true regardless of the amount of time that a relationship has been in existence. Times of change will always lead to anxious emotions, and if these experiences are merged with the feelings of another individual, then there is a chance that intense conversations will manifest. But what we realized is that there are a few simple principles that we believe will greatly benefit all of you when faced with your time of change.

1. Know Your Roles

This happens to be the reason why many relationships suffer during times of change because the roles of each individual are not clearly defined resulting in feelings of resentment, frustration, and even belittlement. I do not think that both individuals should have a conversation about what their roles are during periods of transition, but rather, should remain conscious in the moment to provide room for their partner to do what is necessary without feeling pressure. Lindsay and I decided to focus on this concept so that neither of us felt out of control; and instead, we worked together in order to create an environment within our home that was filled with love, gratitude, and an overwhelming desire to serve. The reason this was accomplished is because we clearly understood our roles and did not invade the personal space of the other individual.

2. SPEAK!

I know that I have already addressed the concept of communication within relationships, and how this is an area which often creates undue stress, but there is no more important time to “speak up,” than during a period of transition. These situations usually result in the constipation of emotions, and eventually, an explosion on whomever is participating in this experience for no reason other than your frustration and fear of the unknown. The key to avoiding this potential chaotic situation is to “SPEAK” when you need to and share how you feel throughout the process, while remaining in control of the words which leave your mouth.

3. Go With the Flow

I am obviously contradicting myself with this principle because I am adamantly against the premise of compromise as I believe this decision results in a loss of identity. But with this being said, periods of transition require both parties conceiting when particular decisions are not of utmost importance. In other words, DON’T SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF! This might have to do with hanging a particular piece of artwork on a wall, purchasing a new comforter for the bed, decorating a bathroom, etc. If the decision is not something that you “truly” value, then I encourage you to avoid expressing your opinion and to learn how to “go with the flow.”

4. There Is No “I” in Team

There is nothing more profound in a relationship then when both people come together and work for a common cause. Whether that is a move, career transition, raising children, organizing a celebration, or simply sharing a romantic evening, couples who recognize they are on the same team, with the same mission, and the same goals, are the ones who will see their relationships THRIVE, while others begin a slow and steady demise.

5. LAUGH…often!

I want to emphasize that CHANGE will result in CHALLENGES because your beliefs will be tested, your ability to handle the unknown will be confronted, and there will always be unexpected occurrences which are attempting to take you off course. With this being said, you have the option to LAUGH or to CRY, but regardless of your choice, the outcome will always be the outcome. Therefore, LAUGH often with your partner, reminisce on these events for years to come, and never forget how periods of change brought you closer than ever before.

6. LOVE A LOT!

The final principle is one that is obvious, yet often misunderstood, and not focused upon. We tend to lose sight of our values during times of change because we allow our circumstances to control our beings and our focus becomes the end result as opposed to the process. When this takes place, LOVE is often the first emotion which is lost and not provided with the necessary amount of attention so that this feeling will grow exponentially. Therefore, do what has never been done before, and when experiencing change, or a stressful situation, force yourself to shift your perspective to the person or people that you LOVE, including yourself, and express these emotions in whatever way you know how. Life is far too short to allow a moment to pass without giving and receiving love, so LOVE with everything you have inside and I guarantee that your time of change will be one that is remembered through eternity.

We do not believe that these six principles are the “answers or solutions” for everyone, but our intention is to have you think differently about CHANGE and how these experiences lead to a deeper sense of love and gratitude than you may have experienced in the past. Cherish these moments, work cohesively, and remember the result will always be the result, but the process is in your control.

I also want to take a moment to thank Lindsay for all that she is, for all that she will be, and for who she is in my life. I am in “constant change mode,” because I have always believed that this has resulted in a profound amount of growth in my life. I love the unknown and yearn for these experiences regularly. With this being said, I have never had to “juggle,” so many changes at the same time which has allowed me to feel overwhelmed with gratitude for having someone to share this process that is completely congruent with my mission in life. We challenge one another in order to remain in alignment with our purpose as we grow in a way that could have never been achieved individually. My hope is that all of you have, or will find, this type of bond in your life because there is NOTHING more important than the emotion of love when it is directed at yourself and someone else who is deserving of these feelings.

Thank you for all that you do and get ready for the IDENTITY REVOLUTION to reach an entirely new level!

Does your LOVE grow during times of change?

What does this mean to you? Please leave a comment.

Some pictures from Flickr.

I hope that everyone had the most wonderful Valentine’s Day, allowing yourselves to feel the LOVE that WAS in the AIR! After the last blog post, I had people from around world connect with me because they had invested the time in themselves and their relationships, in order to distinguish between what they deemed desirable and undesirable characteristics. What I found most fascinating were two particular stories involving couples married for over fifteen years. In each case, both partners felt that they were trapped in a relationship that was quiescent, unemotional, and lacking in love. The result was co-inhabitation with a partner creating an incredible void in the household. At the culmination of last week’s message, both of these individuals invested the time in the seven-step process and started to realize that there was an uncanny and unconventional amount of love that was still present in their relationship- only lying dormant. They learned that the characteristics that they had once thought were undesirable were relatively insignificant in the grand scheme of things and instead, their inability to communicate their feelings properly was the true barrier in their relationship. This is a critical distinction that needs to be addressed because this obstruction exists in many of your relationships. Love is an interesting concept because there are many ways to communicate this emotion, but it is misunderstood more often than not. As a result of this realization, I am going to share a philosophy, technique, strategy, and way of life that will CHANGE your relationships forever. I have embraced these fundamental concepts into my life, and as a result the relationship that I share with my lover has led to growth in all areas.

This Valentine’s Day was special for me because I had the opportunity to “get away” from my typical 24/7 routine, shut off all electronics, and enjoy intimate time with my soul mate, lover, and best friend. I believe that one of the reasons that so few couples experience the magnificence and unexplainable feelings associated with LOVE is because they do not give their relationship the time that is needed for growth to occur. There are many ways that this could take place but the most effective is doing something together that is outside of your routine. That means going away on an unexpected weekend trip, maybe a vacation, out to dinner, etc. Love is reignited in the unexpected and in nontraditional means. This is why we decided to take a trip to Cape May and spend time in a beautiful bed and breakfast. This experience was intended to break our limiting routines, enabling us to have deep, introspective conversations while sharing intimacy and simply fall more in love than ever before. As a result, we did the unthinkable and took our already booming relationship to an entirely new level. The reason I am sharing this with all of you is because you too, possess the ability to make this happen. At any point in time, you can surprise your partner and do something that you would not ordinarily do. If finances are an issue, cook a special dinner and light candles- maybe rent a move, but break the pattern of your mundane relationship.

With all of this being said, your actions will be futile if you do not take the time to learn the lessons that I am going to share with all of you today. The reason why my relationship is one that continues to experience growth is because we have learned that love is the art of communicating the unexplainable and accepting the irrational. Your ability to communicate how you feel about one another will take your relationship to the next level. I mentioned in my last blog post that I was going to share The Five Love Languages, which is a concept that was developed by Gary Chapman after years of relationship analysis. But before we begin, I want you to take a moment and answer the following questions:

What makes one relationship thrive, while others simply survive or even dissipate?

What type of relationship do you have?

This is an interesting concept to consider because all of our relationships fall into one of these categories. Regardless of your current situation, the philosophy that I am going to share is one that will enable you to LOVE THYSELF and also begin communicating your feelings to whomever is in your world in a way that permits them to feel LOVED as well. Love is not about receiving, but rather about giving in an unconditional manner, as long as your values are not compromised.

Therefore, with no further adieu, here are The Five Love Languages:

1. Words of Affirmation

This love language deals with verbally communicating how you feel about your partner. Words are critically important to an individual whose primary love language is via affirmations and acknowledgements. It deals with recognizing someone for whatever it is that they do and communicating this on a regular basis. It is important to compliment people who understand love through this vernacular while always focusing on being authentic and genuine. Surprising your loved one with a note is something that will enable them to feel good about who they are as they cherish the LOVE that bonds your relationship together.

2. Quality Time

This love language deals with present time consciousness where each partner is fully engaged in the relationship. Individuals who yearn for this love language feel an incredible sense of adoration when their partner looks them in the eyes and eliminates all distractions from their existence. It deals with allowing your loved one to speak, and sometimes only listening, without providing a solution to their challenge. Quality conversation is also critical and needs to be scheduled each day in order to fulfill their “emotional love tank.” Individuals who yearn for this type of treatment enjoy long walks together, unexpected bike rides, deep conversations, weekend getaways, and question/answer sessions. The key to the quality time language is to be fully present each moment that the lovers are together.

3. Receiving Gifts

This love language is one that is deeply rooted during our formative years when parents reward their children with material items. As a result, children mature and believe that gifts equate to love and this becomes their language of choice. With this being said, gifts not only need to be material items, but also could consist of the gift of self, where a partner attends an event or a special occasion. When this takes place, the individual needs to focus on maintaining positive energy so that their partner feels loved. Unexpected gifts, regardless of the size or value, will always leave an individual who speaks this language feeling fulfilled.

4. Acts of Service

This love language deals with changing “have to’s” into “want to’s.” Individuals who yearn to receive love through acts of service look for their partner to contribute when it comes to tasks around the house. These acts of kindness must be performed with a positive spirit or they will have a reverse impact in the lives of the receivers. When a loved one requests for assistance (mowing the lawn, cooking dinner, cleaning the bathroom), it is important to complete these activities without any resentment simply to enable your loved one to feel fulfilled.

5. Physical Touch

This love language deals with intimacy through tactile responses. Partners who yearn for this language seek both implicit touching, which deals with caressing sensitive areas of the body, and explicit touching, which focusing on sexual intercourse. An individual who desires a sense of touch will feel unattractive if this language does not exist in their relationship. Holding hands, hugging, unexpected massages, playing with ones hair, etc. are all ways to leave your partner feeling fulfilled.

It is important to read this message with an intention behind your attention, as nothing will change if you do not make the conscious effort to take action upon your findings. Once this process unfolds, begin discussing various strategies so that each individual will have the opportunity to feel fulfilled in life because LOVE is the most critical emotion that exists. It also important to realize that these love languages represent simplicity on the far side of complexity because their premise is simple to understand, but their application is often where the voids are experienced. Therefore, take the time to discover your Language of Love and the dialect that you your partner yearns to hear so that you can begin to do the unthinkable together and experience the unimagined because the LOVE that you share is DIVINE, and completely unique to you!

What is your LANGUAGE of LOVE?

What does this mean to you? Please leave a comment.

Some pictures from Flickr.

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As we approach Valentine’s Day, the sense of duality fills the air because each individual interprets this holiday in their own way. There are some people who are overwhelmed with excitement because this represents an opportunity to enjoy intimacy, a romantic evening, and the chance to express love. On the other end of the spectrum, there are individuals who consider this day a thorn in their existence because it represents loneliness, animosity for what once was, or the inability to share love for another person. The most profound aspect of this duality is that there are no consistent variables. Someone could be in a relationship for years and still dread what this holiday represents, while someone else may be alone in their world, but cherish whatever it is that they do during their celebration. This is a fascinating concept which is why I have spent time speaking with people, from all walks of life, learning about what makes one person enjoy this time of year, and yet someone else wish they had the ability to sleep this day away.

I recently spoke with a gentleman who was married for 32 years and dreaded Valentine’s Day because it emphasized everything that he was missing in his relationship; while another woman told me that she loves Valentine’s Day, even though she has been a single parent for 17 years, because she takes the time to envision her ideal mate; while another gentleman said that he drinks his sorrows away because his wife left him ten years earlier; and yet another woman was overwhelmed with excitement because she was going to decorate her entire house with candles for her husband of 42 years! The question that I would like all of you to consider is the following:

What enables one person to enjoy the holiday of LOVE, regardless of their circumstances, while another considers this time of year as a thorn in their existence?

I have previously addressed the concept of “Loving Thyself” in order to attract someone, who is congruent with your values, into your world. So as not to reiterate what was already discussed a few weeks ago, it is critically important to embrace the model for attracting EVERLASTING LOVE while considering the concepts that I am going to share with all of you today.

Human psychology is something that I find fascinating because regardless of how conscious we are to the way we think, our past experiences, the cycles we have been exposed to, and our current existence, will impact the way we embrace circumstances as they enter our world. Therefore, this Valentine’s Day is no different than any other day that we live our lives, but what is unique is the attention that our world places on the most foundational emotion called LOVE. But why is this day, different than any other day? What is important for you must realize is that a holiday cannot be the impetus of love in our lives. This is an emotion that all of us possess and it is our responsibility to share it with the people in our world, whether that is through an intimate, business, spiritual, or social lens.

After researching the concept of love through various books, interactions with people, and exposure to timeless works from many of the great philosophers, I have learned that love is something that needs to be communicated on a regular basis. There are a variety of ways this can take place, but what I encourage you to understand is that it MUST take place. Next week, I am going to publish an article on the Five Love Languages which will support all of you on your quest to share love with the people in your world and with yourself, but in the meantime, allow this Valentine’s Day to be the moment that you become more conscious of what you are looking for in a partner, regardless of whether or not you are already in a relationship.

Valentine’s Day is the perfect opportunity to begin this process because although it is cliché, “love is in the air.” The activity that I am going to encourage you to consider is one that has allowed me to attract love into my life and has also enabled many of the people who I have worked with over time to also find their ideal partner. I have also seen couples perform this activity on an individual basis, and then bring their findings together in order to create a new sense of love, within their already established relationship. The point that I am stressing is that if you take this exercise seriously, I guarantee it will work.

The reason I believe so few relationships have the opportunity to completely capture the essence of love is due to the fact that there is no clarity of love. People do not even know what it is that they desire in their partner which is why they are unsure as to whether love exists within their relationship or prospective relationship. Without a clear understanding of what LOVE means to you, there is no chance of attracting this emotion into your life. Therefore, the purpose of this exercise is to combine your intention to find love, with the attention you need to place on what love is, so that you are able to embrace the potential this brings into your life. I am going to share a seven step process that will change your life, and this has nothing to do with the strategy that I created, but rather the results that could surface once this approach is implemented and focused upon.

1. Get a notebook and on the front cover write My Guide to Everlasting Love.

2. Draw a Line down the middle of the first page and on the left side write Desirable and on the Right Side write Undesirable

3. In the desirable column please write down every characteristic, value, belief, etc., that you yearn to find in an ideal partner.

4. In the undesirable column please write down every characteristic, value, belief, etc., that you do not want in your partner.

5. Get a highlighter and highlight 5 desirable attributes that MUST be in your relationship. These are items that you cannot live without and are not willing to compromise.

6. Get a highlighter and highlight 5 undesirable attributes that MUST NOT be in your relationship. These are items that you cannot live with and are not willing to compromise.

7. Sharpen the saw by adding to these columns whenever you experience something you desire or find completely undesirable.

I encourage you to take this exercise seriously and invest however much time is necessary because there is truly nothing more important in life than LOVE. I know many people who are financially abundant, and most would consider them “on top of the world,” but unfortunately, they live an empty existence because MONEY and SUCCESS does not breed happiness, without LOVE.

What I need you to understand is that the seventh step in this process is extremely important because as you evolve through life, your may adopt a new set of philosophies or beliefs which will influence what you desire in a relationship. When this takes place, it is critically important to “sharpen the saw” and add to your Guide to Everlasting Love. This is not an exercise that necessarily gets completed, but rather a work in progress. Even after you attract your ideal suitor, LOVE requires constant attention and an extreme sense of consciousness in order to grow and expand.

There is one loophole to this process that I must address because this list is only as accurate as you choose. There is a chance that your potential partner or your current partner might embody all five of your DESIRABLE attributes that MUST be in the relationship, but also personify two items from the UNDESIRABLE list. These types of relationships are potentially doomed for disaster, unless both partners are willing to work in tandem and address these concerns. With this being said, please do not judge your current love or your future love too quickly. What I have seen on a number of occasions is that people are so consumed with finding someone that is 100% compatible that they often miss the chance to connect with a person who is yearning for the opportunity to work with someone in order to create a relationship that is in alignment. You must be open to any and all possibilities as love is completely unconventional, unorthodox, and irrational. There is truly no way to gauge when this will surface in your life, who it will be with, and how it will take place. But by preparing for its entrance or reigniting the emotion when it is dormant, you will be fully prepared for the magic associated with the most powerful emotion that any of us will ever experience.

Therefore, whether Valentine’s Day brings you great joy or an incredible sense of loneliness, I encourage you to spend time with your GUIDE TO EVERLASTING LOVE. I personally believe that the identity crises that our country faces is the direct result of a lack of everlasting love, but it is important to realize that it is never too late to attract more love or to find love for the very first time. So start today because LOVE IS IN THE AIR and decide what it is that you are looking for while remaining open to the endless possibilities of how this will manifest, and most importantly, enjoying the entire process as it unfolds.

What do you desire and what is undesirable?

What does this mean to you? Please leave a comment.

Some pictures from Flickr.

Please click on the play button in order to listen to an audio of this blog post.

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I have received an enormous amount of feedback from my last message, LOVE ATTRACTS LOVE AS LIKE ATTRACTS LIKE, as a result of people resonating with the philosophy in so many ways, but being unsure of how to make this a reality in their lives. Thus, I have decided to publish this blog post to enable all of BRANDNETITY to begin the process of attracting EVERLASTING LOVE. There is nothing in the world that brings more passion and joy than the emotion of LOVE. I believe LOVE is in a league of its own because it can be expressed in a multitude of ways. It can be shared with people, animals, opportunities, causes, purposes, movements, events, etc. Love is about transparency, which is why I have developed the acronym:

The “others” can be your career, relationships, hobbies, spirituality, and ultimately, YOURSELF. Because in order to immerse yourself in what you do, you must give everything you have and then some, while remaining congruent to who you are, what you stand for, and what makes you…YOU! With this being said, LOVE is a force “not to reckon with,” unless you take the time to assess how it will become part of your being. Love creates vitality and a sense of purpose in your world and in the lives of the receivers. Love enables you to awaken each morning with more enthusiasm and passion than the night before, as these emotions continue to develop throughout the day. Because when you love who you are, when you love what you do, when you love the people you share your life with, and you love LIVING, then in turn, you will have the courage to Let Others View Everything.

This article will be the impetus for me to complete a book because the lessons I am about to share will make your life noticeably different when implemented and acted upon. Therefore, this blog post is a brief synopsis of these concepts which will enable you to have the opportunity to initiate this process. The 7 Principles to Attract Everlasting Love will become a timeless phenomenon because they have been created as a result of analyzing people from all walks of life, and how they integrated the most foundational and fundamental emotion into their lives—LOVE!

It is important to realize that these seven principles will enable you to learn how to love life because once this dynamic revelation takes place, you will begin attracting an ideal suitor, dream career, desired physical image, and anything else that surfaces in your mind. For those of you who are already married or in a relationship with your soul mate, happily employed, or in perfect physical condition, it is important to embrace the philosophy of sharpening the saw. Determine how these principles can take your already incredible life, to the next level, so that you can experience breakthroughs and personal growth. Therefore, with no further adieu here are The 7 Principles to Attract Everlasting Love:

1. Silence is golden…by yourself

It is imperative that we provide ourselves with at least 30 minutes each day to listen to our own thoughts. Society has forced us to believe that the 86,400 seconds in each day must be lived in constant motion, where we exert all of our energies to “get things done.” But what I encourage you to understand is that these 30 minutes of silence will make your entire day more productive, as a result of the clarity which is achieved. You can use this time to think or simply just BE. The intent and the goal of these thirty minutes is to listen to your thoughts. It is critical to realize that if you implement this principle in your life tomorrow, NOTHING will change. It takes consistent effort and an overwhelming discipline to elicit the results that you desire. But remember, living a life with LOVE is worth the investment of days, months, and years, where you dedicate 30 minutes to SILENCE.

What time of the day will you make this investment?

2. Pursue a passion

We must have a cause or a purpose that is unique to who we are so that our life has meaning outside of our relationship, career, image, spirituality, etc.  Pursuing a passion will enable you to achieve a greater sense of clarity, as you lose track of time during these activities. In addition, when you pursue a passion, you begin to connect with other people who share the same enthusiasm in their lives. When like-minded people are united for a common purpose, the result has the potential to eclipse our wildest dreams.

What enables you to lose track of time and place?

3. Spend time in self-talk

Communication is not only an external activity, but one that needs to be internalized as well. We need to focus our attention on speaking with ourselves, in essence, self-talk. What are the most consistent messages that are going through your head from your internal voices? If you are looking to attract everlasting love in your life, you must begin communicating with “thyself” and controlling what thoughts are permitted into your being.

What are you going to say to yourself today?

4. Synergy is the only option

The term compromise is one that I believe needs to be eliminated from our vernacular because whether it is our career, relationships, or spirituality, if we concede our beliefs and values, we will never reach our full potential. Synergy can be defined as a relationship with someone or something where the whole is greater than the sum of each individual part. It is essential to prevent compromise in your life; and instead, synergize in all areas by combining your energies and creating something that would have never been possible if acted upon alone.

What is the first relationship in your life that is in dire need of synergy?

5. Eliminate desperation and come from a position of power

When we operate from a desperate state of mind, whether that is the result of craving love from your spouse, longing for a career change, or yearning to lose weight, the desperation model will negatively influence your desired outcome. When we act out of despair, the choices we tend to make are completely contradictory to what we are looking to achieve. One of the techniques that I have used in order to circumvent this dilemma is to reach into my Emotional Savings Account in order to see how I handled a similar situation in the past. More often than not, the stresses of today, are barriers we have already surpassed years before. Therefore, access the strategy that worked for you then and implement it right now.

Where does desperation exist in your life?

6. Infuse Excitement

In order to achieve EVERLASTING LOVE, it is essential to infuse excitement into your life at least one time every thirteen days. If two weeks have passed, and you have not experienced something which has brought this emotion into your world, then I encourage you to do something extraordinary. Whether this is a simple call to a long lost friend or sky diving, human beings need exhilaration and the feeling that there heart is beating uncontrollably. Find what it is for you and start getting excited.

What makes you excited?

7. Tell yourself, “I Love You…”

Acknowledgment of oneself enables you to begin realizing what you deserve in life. Self-confidence is born from taking the time to love yourself and to communicate why this is the case on a regular basis. This concept is similar to incantations, where we adamantly proclaim, in an extremely repetitive and emotional manner, what we will accomplish in life, until it becomes ingrained in our psyche and nothing will prevent us from making it a reality. Therefore, take the time to express how you feel about YOU because these words of recognition will echo in your mind, spirit, and soul.

What makes you proud about you?

These seven principles will take time to integrate into your life and I encourage you to give yourself the permission to implement each tenant when the time is right for you. Please do not read this message and force all of these changes upon yourself over night, because the result could be disastrous as your desired outcome will not be achieved, and you may consider giving up on your quest for LOVING LIFE. Therefore, spend as much time as you need adopting each principle, and then making it your own so that you can attract EVERLASTING LOVE!

When will you begin?

What does this mean to you? Please leave a comment.

Some pictures from Flickr.

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There often comes a point where people begin to fear being alone for the remainder of their life. This has absolutely nothing to do with age because I have worked with individuals as B.E. Partnering Clients who faced these challenges at all different stages of their lives. Some were in their mid twenties, others were divorced and in their 40’s or 50’s, and even one person in his late 60’s and married. I think it is important that everyone understands that you can be in a relationship, yet still feel like the loneliest person in the world. Maybe your partner is completely incongruent with you, and as a result, you share limited commonalties and a completely different perspective on what living is all about. This results in extreme controversy, nights of restless sleep, and a life where you go through the motions each and everyday.

Whenever I uncover a solution to a predicament, especially when it comes to relationships, I feel obligated to share my findings because regardless of where you are in life, this information will benefit you in more ways than you could imagine. Our relationships, more than anything else, dictate our level of happiness and fulfillment. The first relationship that must be addressed is the one with “YOURSELF” and how you perceive your self worth. If you have taken the time to love the “who you are,” then your relationship with yourself will be strong enough to allow for your relationship with someone else to thrive. On the contrary, if you do not take the time to love thyself, every relationship you will have in your life will be toxic and unfulfilling.

Now that you understand you must love thyself in order to love anyone else, there is a philosophy that I believe is often neglected, and as result, people suffer. Many of you are probably familiar with the Law of Attraction, which states that we will attract into our lives what we think about most often. In essence, like attracts like, even if like is completely contradictory to our desire. This is where the concept of loneliness enters into the picture of relationships, leading to the demise of the most critical emotion in our lives—LOVE! When someone is lonely, because they feel like there is no one in the entire world who is compatible with them, they begin to attract other people who are lonely and desperate. Remember, like attracts like. When this takes place, these two incompatible individuals begin to pursue one another because the one commonality that they share is a strong sense of loneliness. They realize when they are together, this void is temporarily filled because they now have someone to cuddle with, hold hands with, and go home with at night. This is when the journey of “love” begins to take a turn for the worse. This newfound feeling they share becomes an addiction and they do the unthinkable by getting married, buying a home, having children, and all of a sudden realizing, that they have a bigger void in their lives than ever before because they were initially attracted for all of the wrong reasons.

This philosophy has been proven in many situations such as drug addicts, who were in rehab together, have fallen in love because like attracts like, and both individuals were suffering and in need of support. Once they were no longer living a life which is controlled by their addiction, they realize that they no longer share this congruency and the relationship becomes null and void.

It is critical to realize that this scenario can also play a vital role in the magic associated with a connection of love. Because if you are operating from a place where you have learned to love thyself, where you are living with an abundant mentality, and where you have taken the time to clearly define what you are looking for in a soul mate, then once again, like attracts like, and this is exactly what will enter into your world. Many of you may think this is a fantasy mentality that would never work in the real world, but what I am adamantly proclaiming is that the philosophy of becoming who you want to spend your life with is one that has produced the only form of unconditional love known in our existence. It is your choice as to whether or not you resonate with this concept, but this model will work time and time again, so choose wisely because regardless of your decision, love attracts love as like attracts like, so love thyself first and the rest will follow!

What type of LOVE do you want to ATTRACT into your life?

What does this mean to you? Please leave a comment.

Some pictures from Flickr.

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I was working with one of my “B.E. Partnering” clients, who is an extremely successful individual on Wall Street, and he was perplexed as to why he experiences financial success in his world, but is unable to find someone to share his life with and develop an intimate relationship. I asked him if he would mind if I shared his story with all of BRANDENTITY, and he agreed. What I learned from him was that his relationships fell into one of three categories:

1. External beauty with internal emptiness
2. Geographically undesirable
3. Repeat offenders, or in other words, constantly pursuing the same type person from a prior unsuccessful relationship while expecting a different result.

This gentleman defines the concept of “desiring the undesirable” because the women he pursues are undesirable in more ways than they are actually desirable. He is turned on by challenging relationships and continues to pursue people with absolutely no chance of survival. He went as far as to admit that from the onset of most of his relationships, he is cognizant that the union will be short lived. He continued to tell me about a woman who lives in his apartment building, who he described as the “total package,” possessing both beauty inside and out, but since he feels she is “too available,” he continues to date the emotionally empty, the geographically undesirable, or the repeat offenders.

I often struggle to understand why people feel the need to pursue relationships that will result in more difficulty than pleasure. I always thought this behavior would dissipate with maturity and age, but as I have developed and become more conscious to my surrounding environment, I have realized that in some cases, the drama magnifies. There are people who choose to marry the undesirable, and in turn, live a life that is empty, hostile, and lacking in love. I believe the most critical emotion that must be experienced is LOVE, which is devastating to live without. Therefore, why do we allow ourselves to self-destruct by spending our time with “the undesirable?”

Many of you might not be able to relate with “desiring the undesirable” because you are in a solid relationship or marriage, and feel like you are falling more in love with each passing day. If this is the case, then I commend you, but at the same time, I guarantee there are people in your world who are inflicted with this challenging love syndrome. But I am going to state that love should NOT be a battle, it should NOT be a constant struggle, and it most certainly should NOT be absent from a relationship. I do believe that when we desire the undesirable, we are mistaking infatuation for love, and more often than not, allowing the excitement of what lies ahead to influence our decision. I do believe that some people find love in all the wrong places, which adds a level of difficulty to an already complex connection. I also believe it is possible to turn an undesirable relationship into a desirable one, but there are certain factors, that could impinge on whether or not a relationship of this nature will last.

There is not a universal strategy that will enable you to avoid the challenging love syndrome; however, I think it is important to experience these types of relationships in order to become clearer as to what you are truly looking for. This could result in broken hearts and divorce, but ultimately, if you take the time to look at your relationships on a deeper level, there will be many areas that will provide you with invaluable lessons. The key to this equation is NOT trying to fit a square peg in a round hole. If it is not meant to be, then please for your sake, and for the sake of the people in your world, DO NOT FORCE IT. Relationships that are forced lead to a compromised identity for both parties and a life of emptiness.

When we were children our parents told us that there are many fish in the sea, aka potential life partners; and although this is a simple cliché, it is 100% true. Therefore, if your internal voice is saying “NO,” then I encourage you to listen because desiring the undesirable will potentially result in the most important emotion being vacant from your world…LOVE!

Are you currently “desiring the undesirable”…This could be in a relationship, career, friendship, etc.? Please explain…

What does this mean to you? Please leave a comment.

Acknowledgements for the picture from Flickr

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