Are you able to say that your life is “PERFECT?” What I am asking you is whether you operate from the domain of full self-expression where you experience everything that life has to offer without limitations set by your mind. I was having a conversation with someone, who is an extremely important individual in my life, about this philosophy because it is something that we embody, share, and attempt to portray to the world as a model of endless possibilities.  But before I begin, I would like to take a moment to share my definition of PERFECTION which is…

The ability to feel fortunate with what you have, while being open to the possibility of having more, but BEING abundant regardless of whether or not anything changes.

Unfortunately, we have been conditioned by society to believe that this concept is unattainable. We live in a world where mediocrity has become accepted as the norm. And the byproduct of this way of life is an impediment upon our growth and overall fulfillment. As a result, we become programmed into believing that living as a shell of who we are is our destiny.

Who told you that a dead end career is probable?
Who told you that growing older will lead to sickness and disease?
Who told you that an unhealthy relationship is inevitable?
Who told you that conformity is the only way to “fit in?”

I am not speaking directly at YOU, but rather I am sharing my perspective on society as a whole. Acceptance of mediocrity is one of the root causes to the identity crises that the majority of our world will experience at some point in their lives. I am sharing this because I experienced it last year. I accepted mediocrity in my career, my relationships, my health, and with the who I was as an individual. I felt that I lost what makes me…ME! I accepted a mediocre life, and as a result, I was expressing myself as a mediocre individual. But this article is not only about my recognition as to where I was and my newfound ability to state that for today, “MY LIFE IS PERFECT—FOR ME,” but rather I hope to challenge all of you to find where this “shows up in your life?”

Because what I have come to realize is that mediocrity is contagious and will expand as it consumes your way of being. Initially, it might surface within a relationship, but I guarantee that it will infiltrate other areas of your life. The reason people get comfortable living an average life is because it is not harmful nor is it bad, but you better believe that it is NOT PERFECT! And I will stand by the fact that ALL OF YOU deserve to live a life of perfection based on how you define this term. You deserve to have it ALL…the love, the success, the health, and most importantly—YOU! But in order for this to materialize and become something real, I think it is critically important to understand how it surfaced in the first place. Therefore, here are my observations as to why so few people live a life of limitless possibilities…

1.       We are lazy. Someone once told me that “LIFE is HARD WORK,” and in that moment (by the way, I think I was 9 years old) something about these words did not resonate with me, but I was unsure as to why until now. Life is NOT HARD WORK! However, if that is the story you continue to tell yourself, than you will accept a mediocre existence where the somewhat probable, unfulfilling, limited life will be the inevitable. But once you give yourself the permission to change your story, you will begin to recognize that life is not work at all, but rather a conscious effort to confront your challenges so that you can achieve what you ultimately desire. So, what do you want from your LIFE? This is a question that ONLY YOU have the power to answer as you possess the free will to create “YOUR PERFECT LIFE.”

2.       We have no (or limited) self-worth. I went out for dinner about three months ago and one of the people who were present told me that no one in her world cares about what she has to say…and was convinced that this was the TRUTH. So I asked her, “Where was this belief born?” She had no idea as to what I was referring to, so I took it one level deeper and asked, “Who in your past ignored you when you were speaking?” In that moment, I saw a distinction become REAL as she told me that when she was five and playing with her cousin, he ignored her when she was speaking by turning away. I then made the following statement, (and I encourage all of you to think about how this concept shows up in your life because this is WHY you may be accepting mediocrity), “Do you realize that as a result of the action that your five year old cousin took by ignoring you, you have allowed yourself to BELIEVE that people do not value what you have to say for the next 25 years of your life? Is it worth it?”  

3.       We think perfection is unattainable. We live our lives with self-limiting beliefs as to what is truly possible in order to “play it safe,” and then justify our actions or inactions with the story that something is NOT POSSIBLE. Because if this is what we tell ourselves, then why would we even try to achieve it. But I am here to express a sentiment that I hope resonates with all of you. I have the family, the relationship, the friends, the career, the health, and the ME! Does this mean that I do not experience challenges? Does this mean that I am coasting? Does this mean that chaos does not enter my world? ABSOLUTELY NOT, but what it does mean is that I am open to the possibility of living a life of PERFECTION and NEVER settling or accepting mediocrity in ANY area of my existence. With this being said, I am NO different than any of you, so please recognize that perfection is VERY MUCH attainable.

4.       We are afraid. Whether you have lived within the domain of mediocrity for a year, ten, or even your entire life, the UNKNOWN is the most significant barrier to action because human beings are afraid of what is possible. Living within the domain of mediocrity will guarantee ONE THING…an unfulfilling, inevitable, predictable, and limited existence. And if you are okay with that, than BE AFRAID and remain in this place. But if for some reason you are no longer satisfied with being part of what society has labeled as the norm, then face your FEARS and be open to the possibility of living a PERFECT existence. This is not subjective, but rather it is something that you can feel, something that can be experienced every moment of every day, and something that will allow you to understand  that regardless of what takes place in your world, NOTHING will steal YOU from YOU!

In closing, everything about life is man-made. Business is man-made, relationships are man-made, and your health is man-made. What I mean is that all of you have the power to “MAKE YOUR LIFE” in whatever capacity you desire. But what I must emphasize is that you DESERVE to live a life where you are capable of uttering these words, “MY LIFE IS PERFECT—FOR ME!”

So what will it take for this to become YOUR REALITY…?

What does this mean to you? Please leave a comment.

Some pictures from Flickr.

Last Wednesday, I had the unfortunate experience of having both my GMAIL and Facebook accounts hacked by someone. This individual sent an email to my entire personal database, along with a Facebook status, stating that I was in dire need of money because of a mugging in London. Many of you may already be aware of this situation, but I thought it would be an interesting concept to analyze and dissect because my INTERNET IDENTITY was stolen.

There is an important lesson that can be learned from this event because  although I am not a computer programmer or scientist, I would imagine that whomever was behind this scheme invested time, energy, and effort into something that provided absolutely no benefit, but rather significant harm. I personally do not believe anyone is being true to themselves when they detract from the lives of others, and instead, use this approach as a coping mechanism because of their internal emptiness in their lives.

What I have found is that this scenario tends to surface in all different types of relationships, whether they are intimate, business related, or friendships. Many people who experience troubling times, more often than not, will make an attempt to bring the people in their world into a dark state. It is almost like taking another human being and using them as a punching bag in order to alleviate the pain they are experiencing.  This unfortunately is engrained in the human psyche because no one wants to wallow in their own misery by themselves.

There are a number of people who I know that live a victim-oriented life, and when they are at their low point, do not want to associate with individuals who operate from an optimistic and positive frame of mind. They avoid listening to stories of joy because this results in extreme feelings of resentment, as they do not know how to achieve this level of satisfaction in their own lives. What I realize is the pain that many of these people are experiencing, which happens to be the root of their IDENTITY CRISIS, is something that may have occurred years before. This could be relationship woes, abuse as a child, addiction to drugs or alcohol, career disasters, etc.

One of the areas I believe many of you can relate to lies within intimate relationships, where one partner is frustrated with their life, and as a result, possesses resentment towards the other person because they are not experiencing the same pain. In order to bring this individual down to their level, so that they do not wallow in their misery alone, they might refrain from making love, verbally or physically abusing, stop doing the little things and maybe even the big things, and begin ruining something that could have been wonderful simply because they feel terrible about themselves. I also see this surface in parental relationships where children begin to segregate themselves from their parents. Many times the child will treat their parent like a punching bag, constantly beating down upon them simply because they are coming into their own and this experience is foreign and sometimes painful. Think about when you were a child and had a crush on a fellow peer, but got denied. Who received the wrath from this situation? I would tend to believe it was a parent, because once again, NO ONE wants to suffer alone.

What if in all of these situations, we were able to become more conscious to the pain that was surfacing in our lives?  What if we realized that detracting from the well-being of someone else may provide a short term fix, but severe long term pain because NO ONE gets pleasure from inflicting grief onto others? But what if we are able to learn how to cope with the events from long ago, so that they no longer occupy rent-free space in our lives? All of these questions are valid, and if you are struggling with this dilemma in your life, then take an honest inventory and answer this final question:

How does it serve me to inflict harm upon others?

If my Internet Identity Hacker would have spent the time asking himself these questions, as opposed to wallowing is his own misery, then I do not believe that there would have been a chain email sent to my personal database about getting mugged and needing money. Therefore, I would like to share a short message that I hope reaches the eyes of Mr. Internet Hacker because this situation needs to be his catalyst for change, as it is down right WRONG to treat anyone as a punching bag because he struggles with himself…

If you currently achieve peace by creating misery in the lives of others, than act as if this letter was directed to you. The actions of Mr. Internet Hacker are in the past, as are all of yours, so all you can do going forward is focus on the present in order to create a pain-free future. Remember, when we beat down on others in order to make ourselves feel better about the “who we are,” the gratification will be short lived, while the pain will last through eternity. If you resonate with this concept and you feel like there is someone in your world who has been a punching bag in your existence, then like I said to Mr. Internet Hacker, let this experience be your catalyst for change and give permission to yourself to love what makes you…YOU!

Do you create misery in the lives of others just so you will not wallow alone? If so, why?

What does this mean to you? Please leave a comment.

Some pictures from Flickr.

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