When were we told that we are too old to dream? Unfortunately, this might have been a perpetual lesson that has been engrained throughout our lives because of societies conditioned ways of thinking. Remember when you were a child and one week you wanted to be the President of the United States, the next month you yearned to become an astronaut, and then the following year your focus was on becoming a ballerina? What happened to that innocent excitement that all of us possessed during our formative years? There are a number of factors which lead to the extinguishing of dreams, but there is nothing as powerful as being told to think “realistically,” or to “stop dreaming.” These comments may have originated from our parents, friends, teachers, preachers, or anyone else who entered our world and were already jaded as a result of conforming to what society stresses as the “normal way of thinking.” But dreams are where realities are born and over the course of time, with consistent effort and focus, these thoughts become real things and the dream is manifested.

The reason I have introduced this concept of dreaming is because this happens to be one of the many lessons that I learned on my Costa Rican getaway with Lindsay. This concept reinforced a philosophy which I consistently share, but which was clarified on our travels. While in Costa Rica, both Lindsay and I yearned to immerse ourselves in the culture and experience everything that is indigenous to this country. As a result, we hired a private tour guide who took us on horseback through miles of coffee plantations, rain forests, and lush landscape that makes Costa Rica like no other place on earth. During this excursion, Lindsay and I shared many stories with our guide about our life and the exciting changes on the horizon, (which you can read about at the end of this blog post). In addition, we asked numerous questions in order to understand what brought this gentleman to Costa Rica. We learned that he is a 57 year old man, who was born in Italy, but desired to escape the materialistic life that his family was leading; and instead, enjoy a life of simplicity. As he continued talking, he began to get extremely excited as he proclaimed, “My dream is to purchase a plot of land on the pacific coast of Costa Rica and become a welder, but not for the purpose of making money, just because this is something that I thoroughly enjoy. I am not there yet, but I know that someday I will be able to accomplish my dream.” When our guide made this statement, he had that same childish glow that all of us had when we emphasized our desire to become an astronaut, athlete, or dancer. Our guide did not allow himself to be extinguished by the conditioned way of thinking that society has used to “make us more realistic,” and instead, he shared his dream with the same excitement that he had when it first entered his mind. He is a believer and has fortunately been inflicted with a virus that I refer to as the DREAMERS DISEASE.

I share this story because I found it to be enlightening and inspiring at the same time. I share this story because I hope that at least one of you, if not all of you, become honest with yourself with regards to your dreams. I share this story because I hope that you realize that whether you are 6, 16, 56, or 86 years old, it is never too late to dream. And finally, I share this story with the hope that you will now be inflicted with the DREAMERS DISEASE.

Many people are reluctant to dream because of the potential disappointment that might manifest, while others consider this act as a something juvenile. But regardless of your rationale, I encourage you to realize that a life without dreams is one without life. Dreams are our internal desires that make us who we are and motivate us to “keep at it,” regardless of the surrounding circumstances. The beauty of dreams is that they are unique to the beholder and are often derived from the unexplainable when viewed from the outside world, but when we search within, these dreams make sense and become our guiding purpose. Our dreams are one of the reasons that we do whatever it is that we do each and every day in order to get one step closer to making this thought real. But if this does not resonate with you, it may be as a result of living a dreamless life.

Remember, there is no age when dreaming becomes obsolete or juvenile, and at any point, your dream of finding true love (even if you have been single for years or divorced multiple times), publishing a book, starting a company, having children, or becoming a welder in Costa Rica has the potential to manifest, as long as you never lose sight of what you desire to achieve and stay inflicted with the DREAMERS DISEASE.

UPDATES:

I was published, once again, on My Daily Insights and I encourage all of you to read the story entitled “The Lemon Squeeze.” The lessons that can be learned from this piece of writing are profound as they will inspire you to realize that your “fears” are preventing you from living the life of your dreams. As a result of this publication, we have 392 new members (and counting) who have joined Brandentity and have become part of the IDENTITY REVOLUTION! Get ready to learn who you are, what you stand for, and what makes you…YOU!

As many of  know, Lindsay and I live an extremely “on-the-go” lifestyle and we are back at it again because she earned the opportunity to complete one of her missions in life by volunteering for an organization based out of Maryland. Therefore, we will be moving to Virginia next Friday and you better believe that growth, on all levels, will be taking place and I plan on sharing this experience with all of you. I feel so fortunate to be able to support her on this quest…

So until next week, I encourage you to begin living a life where you permit yourself to be inflicted by the DREAMERS DISEASE!

What do you dream about?

What do you think…? Please leave a comment.

Thank you flickr for your pictures.

As I am sitting on a plane, heading from Arizona back home to New Jersey, only to pack for a romantic Costa Rican getaway with Lindsay tomorrow morning, I find myself reflecting on the past few months and all of the experiences which have taken place. I am the type of person who enjoys the process of introspection, even when it is painful, because it enables me to discover why I do, what I do in any given circumstance. There have been a number of situations that have resulted in challenging times and periods of excessive change, but for some reason, these past ninety days drastically took me away from my mission and what makes me …ME. And as I processed everything that has gone on in my life, I began to realize the reason my “funk” was extended for longer than I would have liked was because of the guilt that I placed upon myself for not living with passion, for not serving my purpose, and for living a life of contradictions. The guilt, that plagued my existence, is what consistently held me back from addressing these demons and moving forward to live in alignment and re-discover my authentic self.

I have a feeling that many of you may know exactly what I am discussing with this concept of guilt because it happens to be an emotion that almost everyone experiences at some point in their life. Maybe for you it deals with your inability to control yourself when it comes to the foods that you put in your body; or maybe you treated someone in your life unfairly and you are having a difficult time accepting your own actions, or maybe you made a decision to pursue a career that took you away from your family, and as a result, your children grew up and have an unsatisfying relationship with you. Regardless of where your guilt is rooted, there is a chance that if you allow your conscious mind to tap into this vortex of pain that you will begin to realize that your past decisions are echoing in your existence. You may go to bed at night with an unsettled feeling in your stomach, awake in the morning and dread the day, and purposefully avoid mirrors due to the fear associated with looking at yourself. You might even continue to  deny of these circumstances and  do whatever results in these feelings of pain whether it is eat more, fight more, or work more, simply because this “addiction” represents a fallacy of an escape in your world.

For me, it was pure and utter avoidance. I have a file on my computer of ideas, projects, and philosophies that I have developed over the years. This file was intentionally unopened over this period of time because of the guilt that I experienced on a daily basis just knowing that my life was one of contradictions. The emotions that I experienced felt like I was being sucked into an abyss where I would be lost forever, as I wallowed in everything that I was “not doing or doing wrong,” as opposed to the incredible successes and opportunities which materialized over this period of time.

When I first launched BRANDENTITY and the IDENTITY REVOLUTION I wrote about the concept of an “Emotional Savings Account” and how during our life, we experience different events which will either add or subtract from the balance in this account. Our perception of these situations will either move us in the direction of emotional freedom or deteriorate at our existence with emotional distress. The concept of GUILT happens to be the most expensive emotion that any of us will experience during our lives. Guilt is often deep rooted, and when exacerbated, this emotion can redefine our identity and become it.  I also realized through my personal experience over these ninety days that it is impossible to sustain a good quality of life in which you love living, if you allow guilt to occupy space in your being. There might be a reprieve every so often as a result of something positive, but ultimately, you are still stuck in your own mind which is where the guilt resides.

As your “fearless leader,” and I am saying this with complete sarcasm, I wish that I had a solution for those who resonate with these words because I have a feeling that the majority of you will. But unfortunately, I am not sure of exactly what YOU need to do in order to free yourself from the entrapment of your thoughts. I am hoping that a discussion will manifest where different philosophies and concepts are shared because you never know how far your words will carry and whose life will be changed forever because of a simple comment that is posted below. But what I can tell you is that my reprieve, which has got me back on track, was being completely honest with myself, while allowing the closest people in my life to see my vulnerabilities. This held me accountable once the process of change began.

As I previously mentioned, my parents emphasized their concern for weeks prior to my revelation, but having Lindsay ask me a question, (one that I asked myself on countless occasions prior to that night), “Where is the Jared I fell in love with,” was my catalyst for the process of rediscovery. Notice I said process because we never truly achieve our identity, but rather redefine it. That is why the journey is so exciting because each moment, each event, and each experience will mold you into becoming who you truly desire to be based on your interpretation of what this situation means in your life.

So my advice, is be transparent and willing to face the guilt that is preventing you from living because the longer that you allow the MOST EXPENSIVE EMOTION to occupy rent free space in your mind, the longer you will be a victim to your thoughts. Therefore, believe in the process and trust me when I tell you that I have done this over the past few weeks and I can honestly say that I have never felt better….

Where does your GUILT reside?

What do you think…? Please leave a comment.

Thank you flickr for your pictures.

I am back from my three-week adventure and I feel better than I felt in a number of months. This experience has led to personal growth, intense thought, a relationship which has reached an entirely new level, and the rebirth of PASSION. In my last message, which was sent prior to the business trips and vacation with Lindsay, I decided to be completely transparent and share the contradictions which were “eating away” at my existence.

A number of months ago, I discussed the concept of being constipated with emotions and unable to express yourself due to the fear of what might manifest. In essence, I am referring to being vulnerable and allowing your “weaknesses,” to be revealed to the world without even considering the consequences. During my three month “funk,” I was unable to take my own advice and I allowed my fuel, or in other words my emotions, to fester inside and steal my existence. This was a difficult yet profound period of my life because it forced me to assess what Jared Yellin is all about and then to redefine, and continue to recreate the who I am, the what I stand for, and the what makes me…me. I realized that an identity is not something that we achieve, but rather a process we must immerse ourselves in, even if we are uncomfortable as a result of the unknown. But as I have shared, I had many people in my life telling me what I already new and asking me all of the right questions, but the problem was that I was unwilling to provide the honest answers as to why I was experiencing a loss of identity. And then Lindsay opened my eyes and forced me to go through a process of introspection, in which honesty was my only choice, as she enlightened me to find myself once again—the passionate, the motivated, and the determined Jared Yellin who had and will always have the vision of spearheading the IDENTITY REVOLUTION.

My intention behind this message is not to reiterate the lessons that I have learned because you are more than welcomed to read my prior message entitled, I Am No Different Than You, but rather to share something with you that signifies the Law of Attraction, the Power of Perspective, or simply opening our eyes to the endless possibilities on the horizon. Because on July 9^th , as I was enjoying my romantic vacation in Costa Rica with Lindsay, the unexpected happened when I was published on one of the most influential personal development websites, “My Daily Insights.” This occurrence is extremely symbolic because “My Daily Insights” was one of the first introductions to motivation, personal development, and the concept that our words hold enough power to change the way we do things. When I became a subscriber about seven years ago, I always dreamed of having a quote or a piece of my writing published so that the world could be introduced to Jared Yellin and experience his passion for life. The irony of this particular situation is that I submitted this article, I Will Be Happy When, about seven months ago, and it was not published until my perspective on life was at a point where the message would resonate in the lives of the masses. I firmly believe that if I remained in that funk, this piece of writing would have never been presented to the 1,000’s of people who subscribe to this site, and as a result, many people’s lives would not have been touched and potentially changed. I had literally 100’s of people write to me as a result of this publication expressing their gratitude for my words and their desire to stay connected. This defies the concept that our thoughts are real, they are tangible, and once we decide to take control of them, anything and everything becomes possible as it is attracted into our existence. Many of you might think this is “new age philosophy,” or quirky, or far too spiritual, but I am here to tell you that regardless of what you think, this power exists for all of us. But you are in charge of when it will enter into your existence because once you make the conscious choice to look at your world through a different perspective, I guarantee that opportunities will become apparent that you never noticed before.

For those who do not believe in these concepts, I want you make sure that you understand that I am not trying to convince you to think differently than you have in the past, but if for some reason you keep on doing (or thinking) the same thing over and over, and have yet to manifest the results that you desire, then I encourage you to give this philosophy a chance. It is by no means simple, nor will the results happen overnight, but with a consistent effort and the consciousness to focus on everything that you have in the world, as opposed to what has yet to be achieved, I firmly believe that you will also experience something incredible.

That is enough from me as I do not want to preach, but what I want to do is let you know that the next few blog posts will be lessons that I have learned during my travels. I forced myself to be open to any experience that would present itself in my life and as a result, I have a variety of topics to share that I believe you will enjoy.

I also wanted to welcome over 590 subscribers to BRANDENTITY that have joined as a result of “MYDAILYINSIGHTS.” I want you to realize that this is not just another personal development blog, but rather a movement, or in other words, an IDENTITY REVOLUTION where you will begin to realize who you are, what you stand for, and what makes you…YOU. Get ready for the adventure of a lifetime and thank you for trusting me and joining BRANDENTITY!!!!  

What do you attract into your life?

What do you think…? Please leave a comment.

Thank you flickr for your pictures.

Many of you may realize that I have not posted a message in a few weeks and others have made an effort to contact me in order to see if everything was okay in my life. I need to be completely honest and upfront with all of you as to my rationale for not focusing on Brandentity and taking this hiatus. What I have come to realize is that an identity is not something that you achieve, but rather a process, and although I subconsciously knew this and spoke about it, I felt like I was almost invincible and in essence an outlier. I believed that I was in complete control over my existence, my emotions, and the outcome of all of my efforts. I did not realize that I was putting on a front for the world while hiding behind something that I refer to as my shadow. I thought I surpassed the challenges in my life so that they had little to no residual effects on my present being, and I thoroughly believed that I clearly found my identity. What I need you to understand is that at no point did I “pretend” to be someone that I am not, nor did I wear a mask of confidence so that all of you would be inspired by me; however, I recognize now that I got off track and began living a life of contradictions.

Many of you may think that my “credibility” is now lost because how could I create a concept like the Identity Revolution and not practice what I preach. And others might think that my transparency is inspiring because it enables you to realize that I am no different than any of you. But what I encourage everyone to understand is that your individuality is what you make of it, and regardless of the external events in your life, it is your responsibility to remain congruent, in alignment, and most importantly, TRUE to yourself. These past three months have resulted in EXTREME change for me. The reason I am sharing this with all of you is because I know that you can relate on some level. Maybe your periods of change are different or feel like they are perpetually occurring throughout your lives, but what I learned, and I continue to learn, is that periods of change cannot result in a loss of individuality.

Personally, I stopped reading, I stopped writing, and I stopped everything that made me…ME! Although I believe that you need to transition rather than get stuck in your ways, as life’s challenges present themselves, I recognize the importance of focusing on yourself before considering elements outside of your being. This has nothing to do with being selfish, but rather selfless, because if you are unable to live a life of congruence with who you are and who you want to be, then all is lost, and those around you will have difficulty recognizing you for being you. This catastrophe is exactly what I have been experiencing over the past three months. And it takes courage to be transparent with all of you because I know that there is a chance that judgment will be passed, while you question the philosophies that I have shared and will share going forward because I just admitted that I am living a life of contradictions. I need to work on finding myself once again, so that when I look in the mirror, I am proud of the image that looks back. But there is a lesson that can be learned during these early phases of searching for yourself. The purpose behind this message is to inspire those who can relate to my experiences since April. I have been in denial and unwilling to face the demons that I refer to as my “shadow” which was something that I thought no one could see but my subconscious, until I realized  the people in my world, who love me more than anything else, were completely aware of my struggle and conscious to my contradictions.

This happens to be the first step to finding yourself, whether it is for the first time or subsequent times, because we must be honest and willing to be transparent. Once I dropped my ego of confidence, and embraced the challenges from others, I began to realize that my individuality, in essence what makes me…me, was dormant. My parents addressed their concerns for weeks; and although I listened, I did not hear what they were saying because I was in denial. Those of you as fortunate as myself to have family who truly care about your well-being being might also, at times, ignore them when they speak from their heart. But what I must tell you is that even if I did not take action when I initially recognized my contradictions, they etched a place in my being and echoed in my thoughts. And then the other night, June 30^th at 10:00pm, I had a revelation because Lindsay; my soul mate, my lover, and someone who I can honestly call my new best friend, challenged me by saying, “Where is the Jared that I fell in love with?” I will never forget those ten words because that is all I needed to hear after spending weeks where my parents questioned my identity, and I debated with feeling lost—Lindsay hit the nail on the head and helped me to realize that it is time to focus on me.

For some reason, I began to think that my career, my finances, and all of the external things in my life would enable me to sustain the identity that I worked on for years, but what I have now learned is that there is nothing outside of yourself that will provide you with what you need to live a congruent life. You can’t say that once you have children, you will begin living a life free from contradictions; or once you get promoted; or once you get the bonus; or once you graduate from college’ because all of the “once’s” mean that you are waiting for something outside of yourself to help you find yourself.

What I encourage you to do is look within, be transparent, and then take action. I know this message could be interpreted in a variety of ways, and if I lost credibility in your eyes because I was honest about redefining and finding myself, then that is a risk I am willing to take to inspire those who are ready to be honest with themselves. Because what I have learned is that life is cyclical, and the moment that you feel like you are congruent and in alignment with your identity could be the instant that everything changes. Maybe it will be the result of sickness or disease, an argument with a family member, a career change, or financial difficulties, but regardless of when or where this surfaces in your life, I encourage you not to take the path that I did from April through June, and instead to embrace the uncertainty, associate yourself with others who will inspire you, and never lose sight of what makes you the person that can look in the mirror and be overwhelmingly proud of the image that looks back.

The final piece to this equation is that this “loss of individuality” will most certainly happen again. I am not being a pessimist, but rather a realist because I recognize that in life we will experience multiple times that I like to refer to as a “squat,” where we take one step backwards and potentiality stand stagnant, until we become conscious to the fact that we are off track. Once this takes place, and we become the “watcher of the thinker” as Eckart Tolle says, you will begin to realize that it is time to focus your attention on re-establishing your identity in order to bring yourself out of this place at a faster pace than ever before. Therefore, be comfortable with the unknown, recognize that your identity is not something that you achieve, but rather a process that you work towards, and look within in order to find yourself.

My commitment to all of you from this moment going forward is to keep you updated with my progress. I do not believe that results will be seen over night, but like Lao Tzu said, “The journey of a thousand miles began with one simple step.” Each day will be a step that I take in order to get ONE step closer to realizing who I am, what I stand for, and what makes me…ME!

I will be travelling from July 5^th-July 22^nd but I will document my experiences so that when I return I will inspire all of you to become leaders in your IDENTITY REVOLUTION. Thank you for standing by my side, thank you for always believing in me, and thank you for being YOU!

I also want to take a moment to thank my family for seeing something in me that I did not see in myself for the past few months. Your words echo in my mind and your love means the world to me. And Lindsay, I want you to know how fortunate I am to have you in my life. Your dedication to my personal growth is something that I have always dreamed of and what I want you to remember is that we are headed in the right direction…NOW and FOREVER. I love you…

What does this mean to you? Please leave a comment.

Some pictures from Flickr.

I am sure many of you are already aware that I am a sponge for knowledge and I have been this way for my entire life. When I was a toddler, and begin to speak, I wanted to understand anything and everything. As time went on, I wrote a book about the Unanswered Questions in Life. For example, does chicken taste the same way to you as it does to me; when I look in the mirror do I see a reflection or maybe another world looking back at me; and what makes two people fall in love? Keep in mind, I was probably about ten or eleven years old when I completed this “book,” and it proves that I was interested in philosophy at an early age. But as time has gone on, I realized that my intrigue had little to do with philosophy and everything to do with the meaning of life. What I realized is that my “meaning” could be completely different than any of your meanings. We all have the ability to create our own meaning for living and define our own purpose in the world. Therefore, is life a science or an art?

Science can be defined as something that has been proven, time and time again, in order to achieve the same result as each prior trial. On the other hand, art is something that is unique to the creator, where they are able to depict their views in an aesthetic manner, and the interpretation of the end product is highly individualized. Therefore, on our continuum of life, the concept of art and science are at two opposite ends of the spectrum. But if this is the case, then why do so many people believe that you need to do A, B, and then C in order to get D? This would lead me to believe that life is a science, even though I wholeheartedly disagree with this philosophy. I believe that it is possible to do A, E, F and G in order to get Y, if Y is what you were looking to achieve.

A perfect example of this occurs when a parent assumes that they know who the perfect “suitor” is for their child. Before I provide my analysis of this situation, I want all of you to understand that the definition of “assumes,” in this situation, is highly influencing and convincing the child to pursue the person that the parent thinks is best for them, even if their child disagrees.  My philosophy on this situation is that the parent is most likely operating through the eyes of a scientist because they are basing this recommendation on an equation that leads to a happy marriage. “You need to make sure you choose someone who has the same religious beliefs as you, a stable career, good looking, comes from a supportive family, is not a workaholic, and wants to have children within the next two years.” This is what I call an equation that looks like the following:

A+B+C+D+E+F=G

A=Same Religion

B=Stable Career

C=Good Looking

D=Supportive Family

E=Not a workaholic

F=Wants children in two years

G=Happily Married

However, this scientific equation does not guarantee that G will take place, which proves my point that LIFE is not a science, but rather an art. Who says that we need to follow specific steps to elicit a certain result? The reason that science was accepted initially is because someone understood the fundamental principle that things are created as an art and then proven with science. Therefore, when it comes to your relationship, career, diet or exercise programs, breaking an addiction, etc. create your own masterpiece of art and then prove that it works through your own science.

This theory is also common when dealing with someone in the business world, who possesses years of experience, and believes that they have the answer to whatever question they are asked. This situation recently occurred in my life when someone questioned how developing the IDENTITY REVOLUTION could turn into a viable business. He told me:

“In order to succeed in business, you need to create something of value. I believe that your message is valuable, but I do not think that there is a business model here that can be monetized. But if you were to enter into my line of business, and follow these steps, you would make a substantial amount of money.”

What if Bill Gates, Steven Jobs, Howard Schultz, Mark Zuckerberg and many of the other innovators of our time listened to the scientific naysayer’s in their world? The point that I am making is that I believe LIFE IS AN ART. I do not believe that there are specific steps that can be taken in order to rear your children; I do not believe that there are explicit actions that can be implemented in order to achieve financial success; and I most certainly do not believe that there is a scientific equation for love. If you agree with this philosophy, then I encourage you to make your own masterpiece of life and realize that you will always have a clean canvas to work with as long as you recognize that life is an art, NOT a science…

Is life a science or an art?

What does this mean to you? Please leave a comment.

Some pictures from Flickr.

I believe that life is a puzzle, made up of millions of pieces, or in other words experiences; career, school, relationships, money, vacation, camp, good times, bad times, sickness, regret, deceit, etc. This list could literally go on forever, but what is important to realize is that every single experience that takes place in your world will provide you with a piece to your puzzle of life. Each of these pieces will enable you to get closer to completing your puzzle and revealing your ideal life.

Now you might be asking yourself, “How many people get to the point of actually completing their puzzle?” And the answer is none because human beings are most comfortable when they are “fence sitting.” The definition of a “fence sitter” is someone whose complacency and over-analysis of every situation prevents personal growth and ultimately the puzzle from being completed. We were born to take action, even if the action we take is not in the direction of our ideal life, it still enables us to begin a journey and experience everything that the world will present on our path. Procrastination equals a slow death because it results in stagnation, emptiness, and a feeling of regret. When we are stuck in this place, opportunities that could have become available fly by the waist side as we are oblivious to our surrounding environment.

For example, maybe you are overweight and as a result of being a few extra pounds, you begin to procrastinate when it comes to diet, exercise, and personal development, as it seems like it will take forever to complete this section of your puzzle of life. Unfortunately, a side effect of your lack of action is that your self-worth diminishes, your relationships suffer, you perform poorly, and you wake up every morning with absolutely no energy, passion, or will to live. This dilemma you are facing has absolutely nothing to do with being a few pounds overweight, but everything to do with NOT TAKING ACTION. As I mentioned before, procrastination is a slow and painful death where you watch the image that looks back at you from the mirror begin to dissipate, as your identity is lost and you become a shell of what you once were.

Even if weight is not your challenge, and instead career, relationships, finances, or spirituality is an issue that you face, the underlying root to the quandary is a lack of action. Action does not only need to be physical, as in diet and exercise, but rather comes in a variety of forms. The most important component to action is the space between your ears. Two questions that you should ask yourself are:

Where is this taking place in my life?

And

Why am I allowing it took occur?

The “where” is something that only you can answer, but the “why” is going to be fairly consistent amongst all of you because it deals with issues associated with self-worth and an inability to start the process.

If you are committed to making tomorrow different then listen to what your “gut” is telling you to do. Your intuition will never lead you on a path where your growth will be stifled, but it is important to realize that there is a good chance your decision will elicit an uncomfortable emotion. This feeling of doubt is called “The Unknown,” because regardless of what path you take, it will be uncharted territory in your world. But like Alan Alda once said, “You have to leave the city of your comfort zone and go into the wilderness of your intuition. What you’ll discover will be wonderful. What you’ll discover is yourself.”

It is time to trust yourself to continue building the puzzle of your life because even if there are 1,000’s of pieces, and you do not know where to start, realize that you possess all of the tools you need to take action and live a life filled with endless opportunities.

Is procrastinating getting in the way of your LIFE?

What does this mean to you? Please leave a comment.

Some pictures from Flickr.

Since we are rapidly approaching the time of year where many of us begin the process of Spring Cleaning as we donate some of the clothes that do not fit, use the shredder on the paperwork that has been accumulating, and begin to simplify our lives; I thought it would be important to do something this year which has probably never taken place in your past. As a culture, we tend to hold onto the pieces of yesterday, even though we can have the whole (NEW) thing today. The pieces of yesterday may represent memories that have resulted in frustration, emptiness and intense anger. What I have seen is that people tend to allow events from years before; a family member forgetting to wish you a Happy Birthday, a manager’s lack of recognition for your hard work, or an argument with a loved one; severely impact the way you live your life going forward. Whether or not you realize that these incidences are influencing your decision making process today, I am here to tell you they are. These occurrences are occupying space in your mind, similarly to how people accumulate “stuff” that needs to be trashed.

Take a moment and close your eyes while picturing your dresser. If you are like most people, then your wardrobe is filled to the brim because of your resistance to rid yourself of the items from your past. In the drawers of the dresser you have garments you would never even consider wearing; items that are too small, out of style, or simply ugly. There is even a sweater you received on the holidays about 18 years ago which was hideous then, and even more revolting now. Although this wardrobe is overflowing, you continue to purchase new items and somehow strategize a way to squeeze them into the nonexistent space that is still available. The only problem is once you begin squeezing your “NEW” items into your drawers, they begin to wrinkle and lose some of their appeal. Natural human instinct tends to reach for the older items, which are worn in and “comfortable,” even if they do not fit appropriately, resulting in the NEW clothing being ignored and eventually getting pushed to bottom of the drawer, with the tags still hanging from the sleeve. Therefore, in order to change your image to become BRANDENTIFIED as the “new you,” you must Spring Clean and get rid of the older items.

This scenario captures the essence of how many of us live our lives by holding onto the pieces of yesterday and filling up our mental space with memories that need to be forgotten. As a result, there is actually no space for the “NEW” experiences that are taking place today. But until you make the CHOICE to let go of these memories, shred these events, and start Spring Cleaning; your mind will have no space for growth. The choice to hold onto your negative memories will result in an inability to become BRANDENTIFIED.

I have learned that in order to eliminate the darkness of your past and experience the lightness of your present and future, you must TURN ON your L-A-M-P, or in other words:

Let Go  

Accept

Move on

Proceed

Take a moment and think about the areas in your life, which are cluttered with emotions and memories from the past. If you were to implement the L-A-M-P Strategy by Letting go of these memories, Accepting what once was, and Moving onto a better present; you will then have the opportunity to Proceed to a wonderful future where you begin to realize what makes you…YOU! The result of being proactive and moving forward, rather than getting stuck in the past, is vitalizing and will leave you feeling energetic as you find more space in your mind to enjoy the LIGHTNESS of the present and future because your LAMP has been turned on!

Are You Ready For Some Spring Cleaning?

What does this mean to you? Please leave a comment.

Thank You Flickr For These Pictures

We live in a country that has been inflicted with events coined as crises from the birth of time. Some of these ‘catastrophes’ include various financial crises, the technology bust, Cuban Missile Crisis, flu epidemics, wars, healthcare crisis, global warming, pollution, terrorism, and unfortunately, the list does not come to an end.  But with all of this being said, the one crisis that happens to be the root to all of these epidemics in our nation’s history is the IDENTITY CRISIS—a crisis that everyone faces at some point in time. This crisis has the ability to plague our existence and put an end to our personal well-being.

As a result of my research on Identity Theory, coaching people around the country, and speaking engagements with an interactive audience, I have found seven potential layers which could hide your IDENTITY and steal your authentic self. What I realize is that the people who suffer from this epidemic feel empty, lost, and out of control when it comes to living their life. They feel like they are alone, while journeying to a place referred to as, “rock bottom.”

The goal of this message is to enable you to relate to at least one of the LAYERS and define the pain that surface in your world. Once you realize what has been preventing you from reaching your full potential, living with passion and loving life, you will be able to start the process of reclaiming your most precious asset…YOUR IDENTITY! There is a chance that a number of you may already be living by your own terms, and if this is the case I commend you, but I still encourage you to read this message in its entirety because I guarantee there are people in your world who are struggling with at least one of these areas:

1. Career

There was a point in my life when I worked in corporate America. This was an exciting time because I was networking, making tons of money, and learning about finance, but after about 6 months of the “rat race,” I began to realize that my employer was preventing me from being myself. As time continued, the identity crisis began to expand when I was told how to comb my hair, how to dress, and how to think; resulting in a feeling that my life was being created on my behalf. Many of you may relate with my past because your career has become a story and you are simply a character. I realize that not everyone is born to be an entrepreneur, and depending on your circumstances, leaving a career which is stealing your authentic self may not be an option, but what you can do is find something that brings an unquantifiable level of passion to your world and make sure to include this in your schedule every week. This could be a hobby, sport, or simply doing nothing and just BEING. The amount of time you participate is your choice, but the end result NEEDS to be fulfillment, excitement, and a never-ending desire to remain true to YOU!

2. Finances

The financial crisis has resulted in a number of suicides by people whose identity was the money in their bank account. When you associate your identity with money, “things” (houses, cars, jewelry, clothing, etc.), vacations, etc., the result will always be disappointment. Finances are often used to hide an insecurity, but the result can be catastrophic because you live a life of fallacy as your personal void of self-worth continues to consume “who you are.” A solution could be to find something SIMPLE that brings a smile to your face and include this in your weekly schedule. This could be as straightforward as spending time with your family, nature, or even reading a book. The choice is yours, but I encourage you to begin enjoying the simple things in life.

3. Physical Being

There is currently an obesity crisis in our country, but the foundation is an IDENTITY CRISIS. We associate ourselves with what we look like whether it is our weight, the color of our hair, our skin tone, and anything else that disables us from enjoying the moment because we are too consumed with our physical appearance. This tends to negatively affect other layers because when we are uncomfortable in our own skin, we often ruin the relationships in our lives, perform inadequately in our career, and potentially become addicted to something that will “ease the pain.” There have been a number of people who I coach that suffer from image disorders, but what I have found is that the pain goes far deeper than their external layer. Their pain surfaces from their past preventing them from living their life in the NOW. It is critically important to understand that change starts from within, and changing your diet or exercising is not going to solve your physical identity issue, but what has the potential to be a solution is to work with either a coach or group of people who are struggling with your challenge. Share your stories, find solutions together, and realize you are not alone.

4. Relationships

In a time where divorce rates have reached astronomical levels, I believe that the statistics are not accurate and should be even more substantial because far too many people are living in relationships that are missing the foundational ingredient—LOVE. During a recent speaking engagement at a school, I spent some time watching how many of the parents interacted with one another. I watched how they held hands, kissed, or lack there of. I witnessed how they spoke to one another, looked at one another, or lack there of. I am not going to make a statement without any proof, but I am a firm believer in watching the physiology of people because words can be manipulated, but your body movements cannot. Many of these individuals were sacrificing their identity for the sake of their relationship, they were compromising their authentic self for someone else in their world, and they were living a fearful existence because they felt trapped. I am not sure if you can relate with this emotion, but if you can, ACTION must be taken. This does not necessarily mean that you should end something without taking the time to mend these wounds, but it does mean that everyone involved needs to give and receive love. Take time for your relationship and realize it should not be HARD work, but rather WORKing together!

5. Past Events

All of us have had past external events take place which have molded and shaped who we are today, but the one dilemma which tends to surface is that we allow these occurrences to become part of our identity. The result is living a life as a shell of yourself where you consistently feel empty because there is an unanswered and undiagnosed pain. Subconsciously, you know that something has happened in the past, but the pain was so severe that you have forced yourself to forget about these events without ever taking the time to heal. I have never met someone who has not had any painful events occur in their past, but the reason why only a percentage continues to struggle, while many thrive through life, is the interpretation of these events. Life is like a puzzle where each experience represents a piece in your existence, and without all of these pieces, the puzzle would never be completed. This might be a difficult concept to address because these past events have resulted in such extreme pain in your life, but in order to grow we must let go of what once was, accept what is, and reach for what will be. Whether this is sexual abuse, a prior fight with a loved one, or anything that may have taken place, it is time that you answer this question—why hold onto the pieces of the past, if you can have the whole thing today?

6. Addiction

This layer tends to surface because of an identity issue in a different area of your life and results in pure destruction. People believe that they receive attention as a result of their addiction and fear the loss of relinquishing this label. It is critically important to realize that the time is here and the time is now to begin working towards freedom from this addiction. Join support groups, capture the emotions (video, audio, writing) when they surface, and begin to get transparent with yourself.  The first step to overcoming an addiction is informing yourself that you have one. Once you become aware, the next step is to try and find what was the cause for this effect, and then spend time healing from this pain, even if it happened years ago. Remember, an addiction is the effect of an identity crisis in another region of your life, but has the potential to completely destroy the quality of your life and possibly lead to your demise.

7. Disability

I recently met an individual who allowed their disability to prevent them from living their life. His disability has truly stolen his authentic self and completely consumed his identity because he is unable to live to his fullest extent. He associates fear of failure with his disability and will often not even make an attempt due to the humiliation of not succeeding. I know that this individual is not alone and that many people in the world were born with a disability, and as a result, will not allow themselves to live their life. They become frustrated with all activities, often do not find love because they feel unworthy, and tend to have a negative outlook on their daily existence. I honestly do not have a solution to overcoming this identity issue, but a strategy that I have seen work on a number of occasions is making a list of all of the attributes in your world which bring intense pain. Once this is completed, make another list with all of the positive things in your world. The outcome of this assessment is based on you level of honesty, but I firmly believe that your positive list will FAR outweigh your negative list. Be proud of your inner YOU and focus on what you bring to the world as opposed to what you are unable to deliver.

These are the seven POTENTIAL layers hiding your Identity. I do not believe that everyone is suffering from an IDENTITY CRISIS, but I do believe that many of us fall into at least one of these layers. What I have also found is that an IDENTITY CRISIS is similar to a snowball effect because your pain may surface in your relationship, which then negatively impacts your career because of a lack of focus, and the outcome is an addiction to drugs, over consumption of food, or depression because of the pain from the identity crisis in a different layer of your life. The reason it is important to be aware of this concept is because I believe that a level of consciousness will enable you to reverse the process while beginning to live the life that you DESERVE. It is important to understand that these results will not take place simply because you are now aware of the challenges and pain you are facing, but once you begin taking ACTION, you will slowly reclaim your authentic self. Dr. Gabriel Cousins once said, “The personality is a case of mistaken identity…we are all born original, but why do so many die copies?” The CHOICE is yours and once you decide to live the life that you create for yourself as opposed to the life that someone or something creates on your behalf, you will finally realize, what makes you…YOU!

What layer are you hiding behind?

What does this mean to you? Please leave a comment.

Some pictures from Flickr.

I would like to begin by expressing my sincere apologies for my absence during the last three weeks. I know many of you rely on BRANDENTITY as your beacon of hope in an extremely convoluted world, while others simply read for enjoyment with the desire to think differently than ever before. Regardless of how you use this platform for personal growth, I want you to know that I feel grateful in ways that words could never describe simply knowing that each of you represents an integral part of my life. Over the past two weeks, I have received countless emails from members of the Identity Revolution making sure that I was healthy, secure, and continuing my vision. This experience has allowed me to grasp the importance of what we are looking to accomplish in this world together and now I am back and better than ever.

The reason for my absence was because I moved into a new home with the love of my life, left one career in order to start a new chapter in my existence, as well as a number of other exciting changes that are propelling me to my next level. I decided that it was in my best interest, and in yours as well, to give BRANDENTITY a two week hiatus, as opposed to writing for the sake of writing. I honor all of your time and made the executive decision to wait until I was able to focus on the words that would leave my mind and enter yours. I will never take our relationship for granted and I feel the decision that I made was appropriate based on my situation. In addition, I am going to begin publishing one message each week because a number of BRANDENTITY members have informed me that they love the premise behind each article, but that they are beginning to feel overwhelmed with the implementation of these life lessons. They told me that if they had a few more days in between articles, these tenets would become part of their being and how they lived their lives going forward. Thus, I will alter the schedule based on this feedback, but will continue writing in hopes of helping you begin to live a more congruent lifestyle.

Now that I am settled in a new home, and beginning a life with a person whom I love, I want to share my experience of CHANGE because it is one that I hope each of you can relate to in your own unique way. CHANGE is something deep rooted in all us, yet often leads to the demise of many relationships rather than used as a catalyst to allow them to grow. How we encounter change is based on a number of factors which have been engrained in us during our formative years. These patterns are often difficult, but not impossible, to break so that each experience going forward will afford us an opportunity for growth, revelations, enjoyment, and unconditional love, as a result of how you react to the changes that are placed in your path.

Therefore, regardless of where you are in your life, (in a stagnant relationship or marriage, happily in love, dead end career, insecure about your physical appearance, single and seeking, dating and miserable, or anything in between), I hope that you allow yourself to read and re-read this message so that you have the ability to relate this premise to where you presently are and to where you want to go.

Many of the people in my world have been questioning my actions because the decisions I have been making could be viewed as overwhelming. People tend to “chunk” down their life for the purpose of simplicity, whereas I tend to focus my attention on doing everything at once. As a result, my girlfriend, Lindsay, and I made the decision to begin a life together, even though society would deem this as irrational based on the six weeks we have been together. This decision might seem “foolish” to most, but I am here to tell you that when you KNOW something is right…YOU KNOW. Both Lindsay and I have crystal clarity when it comes to our values in life, and as a result, we immediately knew that our relationship was one that would extend from now, through eternity. We possess young love, but rather than having this exciting emotion dwindle over time, we are committed to focusing on having our internal flame grow in a way that most would deem impossible. I know many of you may have had this at points of your life, while others are still searching for it, but I need you to know that you DESERVE to experience what true love is all about.

This is the type of love that enables you to go to sleep at night with a sense of security that your world is made up of you and your partner. This is the type of love that allows you to get excited, while your heart beats out of control, simply because you are about to see your mate. And this is the type of love that is congruent, in which each individual is bringing something to the relationship that results in a synergistic reaction, where both people grow in way they would have never been able to do on their own. Therefore, if you consider our decision of living together to be irrational, immature, or irresponsible, I encourage you to look in the mirror and ask yourself if this critique is based on what you believe or on what society has influenced you to think?

The reason I have taken the time to share the background of my relationship is because it completely ties into the concept of CHANGE. New relationships, having a puppy, career transitions, moving, purchasing expensive items, etc. could, (and more often than not), evokes stress, which leads to the potential for arguments, hurt feelings, quarrels, and an experience that could have been magical, “going south”. My intention is not to put Lindsay and I on a pedestal, but instead, to share what we learned over the past few weeks and then to encourage you to take our model and make it your own. We do not have all the answers, nor do we believe that what we have done will work for everyone, but what we do know is that far too many people allow their circumstances to dictate their personal level of happiness which leads to unfulfilled emotions and feelings of resentment. There is a cliché that I am sure many of you have heard in the past, but I want to emphasize the point that we can not control our external environment, but we are in direct control of how we allow our external environment to control us.

Challenges in life are inevitable, especially during times of change, but what you must realize is that regardless of whether you have a companion on this journey, or you are traveling alone, the end result will ALWAYS be the same. Your experiences are directly correlated to your choices regarding how you think about change. But there is caveat to this concept, because if you have a partner on this adventure, whether that be a friend, lover, family member, or anyone else, the end result will not always be the same, especially if you allow the stress of the unknown to stand between you and this person in your life.  Lindsay and I were moving items from four different places, finding new furniture, caring for a puppy, starting a new career, spending time with our families, and weathering one of the most horrific storms that the tri-state area has seen in years, but we focused on not allowing the “stress” from these events to stand between our love for one another. And in actuality, these experiences have made us closer than ever before. We allowed our excitement of the unknown to guide us to where we wanted to go, while immersing ourselves in the moment so this experience can be cherished forever.

With this all of this being said, there were moments where anxiety crept into the picture and it forced both of us to truly assess how we communicated and reacted to one another. Our relationship is new, and as a result, the changes that we were experiencing were exacerbated because we are also in the early stages of companionship. We needed to focus all of our energy on working together, as a team, for the purpose of achieving our desired result. Although we are only in the first few months of a lifetime together, this theory is one that holds true regardless of the amount of time that a relationship has been in existence. Times of change will always lead to anxious emotions, and if these experiences are merged with the feelings of another individual, then there is a chance that intense conversations will manifest. But what we realized is that there are a few simple principles that we believe will greatly benefit all of you when faced with your time of change.

1. Know Your Roles

This happens to be the reason why many relationships suffer during times of change because the roles of each individual are not clearly defined resulting in feelings of resentment, frustration, and even belittlement. I do not think that both individuals should have a conversation about what their roles are during periods of transition, but rather, should remain conscious in the moment to provide room for their partner to do what is necessary without feeling pressure. Lindsay and I decided to focus on this concept so that neither of us felt out of control; and instead, we worked together in order to create an environment within our home that was filled with love, gratitude, and an overwhelming desire to serve. The reason this was accomplished is because we clearly understood our roles and did not invade the personal space of the other individual.

2. SPEAK!

I know that I have already addressed the concept of communication within relationships, and how this is an area which often creates undue stress, but there is no more important time to “speak up,” than during a period of transition. These situations usually result in the constipation of emotions, and eventually, an explosion on whomever is participating in this experience for no reason other than your frustration and fear of the unknown. The key to avoiding this potential chaotic situation is to “SPEAK” when you need to and share how you feel throughout the process, while remaining in control of the words which leave your mouth.

3. Go With the Flow

I am obviously contradicting myself with this principle because I am adamantly against the premise of compromise as I believe this decision results in a loss of identity. But with this being said, periods of transition require both parties conceiting when particular decisions are not of utmost importance. In other words, DON’T SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF! This might have to do with hanging a particular piece of artwork on a wall, purchasing a new comforter for the bed, decorating a bathroom, etc. If the decision is not something that you “truly” value, then I encourage you to avoid expressing your opinion and to learn how to “go with the flow.”

4. There Is No “I” in Team

There is nothing more profound in a relationship then when both people come together and work for a common cause. Whether that is a move, career transition, raising children, organizing a celebration, or simply sharing a romantic evening, couples who recognize they are on the same team, with the same mission, and the same goals, are the ones who will see their relationships THRIVE, while others begin a slow and steady demise.

5. LAUGH…often!

I want to emphasize that CHANGE will result in CHALLENGES because your beliefs will be tested, your ability to handle the unknown will be confronted, and there will always be unexpected occurrences which are attempting to take you off course. With this being said, you have the option to LAUGH or to CRY, but regardless of your choice, the outcome will always be the outcome. Therefore, LAUGH often with your partner, reminisce on these events for years to come, and never forget how periods of change brought you closer than ever before.

6. LOVE A LOT!

The final principle is one that is obvious, yet often misunderstood, and not focused upon. We tend to lose sight of our values during times of change because we allow our circumstances to control our beings and our focus becomes the end result as opposed to the process. When this takes place, LOVE is often the first emotion which is lost and not provided with the necessary amount of attention so that this feeling will grow exponentially. Therefore, do what has never been done before, and when experiencing change, or a stressful situation, force yourself to shift your perspective to the person or people that you LOVE, including yourself, and express these emotions in whatever way you know how. Life is far too short to allow a moment to pass without giving and receiving love, so LOVE with everything you have inside and I guarantee that your time of change will be one that is remembered through eternity.

We do not believe that these six principles are the “answers or solutions” for everyone, but our intention is to have you think differently about CHANGE and how these experiences lead to a deeper sense of love and gratitude than you may have experienced in the past. Cherish these moments, work cohesively, and remember the result will always be the result, but the process is in your control.

I also want to take a moment to thank Lindsay for all that she is, for all that she will be, and for who she is in my life. I am in “constant change mode,” because I have always believed that this has resulted in a profound amount of growth in my life. I love the unknown and yearn for these experiences regularly. With this being said, I have never had to “juggle,” so many changes at the same time which has allowed me to feel overwhelmed with gratitude for having someone to share this process that is completely congruent with my mission in life. We challenge one another in order to remain in alignment with our purpose as we grow in a way that could have never been achieved individually. My hope is that all of you have, or will find, this type of bond in your life because there is NOTHING more important than the emotion of love when it is directed at yourself and someone else who is deserving of these feelings.

Thank you for all that you do and get ready for the IDENTITY REVOLUTION to reach an entirely new level!

Does your LOVE grow during times of change?

What does this mean to you? Please leave a comment.

Some pictures from Flickr.

I thought of an interesting post for today as a result of having three conversations, with three different people, who expressed the same challenge in their lives. “I DO NOT HAVE ENOUGH TIME…” As a result of these discussions, I began to think about the concept of time and how this is the only component of our lives in which everyone in the world is on the same playing field. People are born with different amounts of money, opportunities, physical appearances, friends, etc., but the one area that is exactly the same for each individual, regardless of where they live or who they associate with, is that we all have 86,400 seconds in each day and it is our CHOICE on how we spend them. Some of the common complaints that I hear from people who respond to various blog posts is that they do not have time for…

• Family
• Social life
• Exercise
• Themselves
• Reading
• Intimacy
• Sleep
• Eating healthy
• Etc.

Well, I think that the first question that we need to ask ourselves is “What is most important?” because our dilemma has nothing to do with time, but everything to do with how we prioritize our time. Remember, we are all on an even playing field when it comes to time so why do some people struggle with not having enough time for their family, while other people are challenged when it comes to getting enough sleep, and other people cannot find time in the day to exercise? There is actually a universal answer to this question, but the only way to derive the solution is if you choose to be honest with yourself and admit that we make time for the things that we want to make time to do; or in other words, we assign a higher value to certain activities than to others. With this being said,

How much time do you spend on Facebook, watching television, talking on the telephone, etc.?

I think that it is important that you realize that I do not have the “right” answer to this question. I do not have any expectations and I am certainly not judging you based on your response. But my intention is for you to be honest with yourself in order to determine if you are truly prioritizing in a way that will enable you to live a life that is congruent with your BRANDENTITY.

I have used a strategy for the past 4-5 years that has enabled me to become more effective and never feel the need to verbalize the six most overused words… “I DO NOT HAVE ENOUGH TIME…” The strategy is fairly simple, something that I am not claiming to have developed, but my hope is that as a result of reading this blog post, you are now looking at your world through a slightly different perspective, operating from a honest frame of mind, and prepared to take action so that tomorrow can be drastically different than today. The strategy is called My Wishes versus My Priorities, and the table below is an example of how I structure this approach into my life.

I encourage you to take however much time is necessary to perform a self analysis of your wishes and priorities. I firmly believe that results are born from a sense of awareness, and as long as you are honest with yourself, this list will provide you with a tool that will hold you accountable for turning your wishes into priorities. For example, let’s assume that you wish you had the time to exercise for an hour each day, but one of your priorities is to speak with your closest friends on the phone for an hour each day as well. It is obviously not possible to complete both activities, which will impede on your ability to become BRANDENTIFIED because an area of your life is currently not being fulfilled. A potential solution would be to compromise these activities and perform thirty minutes of each, which happens to be better than nothing, or to form a synergy amongst these hobbies by purchasing a headset so that you can talk on the phone and exercise simultaneously. This enables you to take an item from the wish side of the chart and convert it to a priority without affecting any other areas of your life. Another example might also have to do with the wish of exercise, but your priority to spend time with your children. The solution is simple because you can begin to perform physical activities together and once again move a wish to the right side of the chart. The point that I am stressing upon is that all of your wishes can become priorities if you “want it bad enough.” We do not need to compromise areas in our life and instead we can start to synergize. I welcome any of you who struggle with this concept to send me a question via the ASK JARED section of the site and I will provide you with my advice on how to convert wishes to priorities in your current situation.

But in the meantime, get started….

This is an interesting activity to participate in because I believe that it enables you to create criteria to live by on a daily basis. It provides you with a game plan and allows you to see what areas must be addressed for the purposes of prioritizing. I will not think any less of you if your priorities are Facebook, Dancing with the Stars, or American Idol, but I think it is important that you begin to own both your wishes and your priorities in order to avoid saying the six most overused words in our language, “I DO NOT HAVE ENOUGH TIME …”

What do you plan on making time for?

What does this mean to you? Please leave a comment.

Some pictures from Flickr.

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