“Don’t invalidate me in order to validate yourself.”
-Jared Yellin
There is definitely some charge with this article and I want you to know that it’s written from a VERY positive place in my life in service of other people who might not be as positive about someone or someone’s in their life who is attempting to invalidate their validation.
What do I mean…
I think it’s pretty clear that my actions are bold, audacious, and loud.
I have been this way for as long as I remember and I am unapologetically me.
I realize I turn on 97+% of the people who engage and I adamantly turn off the other 3%.
But typically, I don’t know the 3% I turn off other than they might send shrewd comments my way here and there, but there is ONE person I do know who has been on a mission to invalidate my validation since I was 21 years old…
You might not know this, but at 21, I had the vision of becoming a motivational speaker.
I saw myself sharing philosophies that I learned to serve other people.
And I did it like anything else I have ever done…
Bold
Audacious
Loud
I was writing content and recording videos on a subject that is very raw for most people…
Their IDENTITY!
I interviewed people who had an identity crisis that almost killed them, but they lived to share the story…
I also introduced my own formulas and ideas to re-identify with your authentic self…
I publicly coached people who were suffering…
And like I said before…
All of this was done in an unapologetic fashion…
Bold
Audacious
Loud
And there was one lady (let’s call her Frankie) - who I know very very well - who challenged every word I uttered…
“Who does he think he is - he has zero life experience.”
“Why does he think he knows everything.”
“I can't believe anyone would listen to him.”
And the comments persisted…
Instead of building me up for having the courage I had at 21 years old, she attempted to tear me down…
But there’s one issue…
Don’t f-ing invalidate me in order to validate yourself.
The charge behind this statement is NOT for me - every invalidator I meet only validates me more - but the charge is for YOU!
There is someone in your life just like Frankie who will tear you down and stop you in your tracks unless you have the level of conviction I have around what I do and why I do it…
And I adamantly stand against people like Frankie who are unaccomplished, underperforming, and unimportant AND make it their mission to impact people like you….
Accomplished
Performing
Important!
The choices I make are not to invalidate you, so why are you trying to invalidate me
Frankie showed up again recently as she always does because for some reason she interprets my intense validation as a mechanism to invalidate her, but I can assure you that Frankie never enters my mind unless she decides to enter my mind because she shows up in my life.
Here’s my reality and I invite you to embrace this intense certainty as well in order to deflect your Frankie…
I can assure you that your attempt to invalidate me only validates me further because your invalidation is a sign of pain, uncertainty, and darkness in yourself. My sign of validation is light, freedom, and certainty.
Please READ this again!
I can assure you that your attempt to invalidate me only validates me further because your invalidation is a sign of pain, uncertainty, and darkness in yourself. My sign of validation is light, freedom, and certainty.
And again…
I can assure you that your attempt to invalidate me only validates me further because your invalidation is a sign of pain, uncertainty, and darkness in yourself. My sign of validation is light, freedom, and certainty.
When someone attempts to invalidate your validation, what they are actually trying to do is validate their invalidation because they are uncertain, they are insecure, and they live and operate in doubt.
What I am about to share is not something to debate…
There is NO right or wrong and this is NOT a political stance.
If you decide to disengage from my content, I respect you, but I challenge you to accept the entire purpose of this article which is…
My validation around my decisions is never to invalidate your validation around your decisions…
I am just CERTAIN of what’s right for me and my family the same way I hope you are as well.
Lindsay and I left Connecticut because the COVID restrictions and the Mask Mandate is something we stand against.
We hand-selected the one place we could find, Naples, FL, that allows people to live their lives free of fear and free of masks.
This does not mean I think that masks are bad - but I am certain that they are not right for myself, my wife, or my children.
I am equally as certain that the COVID vaccine has ZERO place in our home - and we will never remotely consider this option.
This also does not mean I judge you if you decide that the vaccine will make you safe - I am just certain that it will NOT be safe for myself, my wife, and my children.
Here’s where Frankie showed up…
When Joe Biden was elected as the President, Frankie began to ATTEMPT to invalidate my validation…
“What is he going to do now, just keep on running and hiding from masks and vaccines. And while we are at it - why is he sooo showy about having it all.”
Listen Frankie, I hope you read this article for your sake - not mine - I did not write this for me as I am 100% certain about the decisions I make in my life AND I also did not write this for you - although it will change your life if you read it because I am sure I am not the only one that you are trying to invalidate with your own insecurity - but I did write this article for EVERY OTHER PERSON who is unsure of their decisions because of their Frankie.
So here you go...
Take away my right to fly - I will buy a plane.
Take away my right to send my kids to school - I will launch a school.
Take away my right to go to the supermarket - I will buy a farm.
But you won’t f-ing take away my right of freedom.
This is not a conversation on right or wrong. This is a conversation around choice.
I care more about the well being of the world than the person wearing the mask who thinks they are being patriotic when in reality I have given more to humanity on a Monday morning then you have since this pandemic started and I’m not here to judge you or berate you or invalidate you.
Wear the mask and social distance your comments because they have zero space in my validated world.
Listen, if you disagree with my validation - I respect and honor you - just find YOU and be REALLY certain of whatever decision you make for your family - the same way I am!
Just don’t dare attempt to invalidate my validation.
Your Frankie (And Mine) Must Learn Something CRITICAL….
Shift your judgement time into your self-improvement time because any judgement of me will either be deflected or used as a catalyst and I would much rather see you benefit from your judgements because I am all good over here.
This is your breakthrough moment…
I know you have a Frankie…
Everyone does…
Most people allow their Frankie to win…
And I stand against this at such a deep level that I am willing to LOSE YOU by sharing my beliefs on a temperamental subject because that’s how much your validation matters to me and I hope it starts to matter to you as well.
When your FRANKIE emerges…
Either DEFLECT him/her or use him/her as catalyst of CERTAINTY, but never as an alternative viewpoint to the decision you already made.
Please stand firm in what you believe…
Please keep on keeping on with whatever you are working towards…
Please stay true to your validation and convicted in your certainty…
Frankie is miserable…
Frankie is lost…
Frankie is trying to bring you down to his/her level…
I invite you to rise up…
I invite you to be bold…
I invite you to be audacious…
I invite you to be loud…
And if my Frankie ends up reading this and realizes it’s about her…
I hope you do what I doubt you will - learn from it!
Because once again...
I can assure you that your attempt to invalidate me only validates me further because your invalidation is a sign of pain, uncertainty, and darkness in yourself. My sign of validation is light, freedom, and certainty.
Live with Intention,
PS: And for the record…
This article has NOTHING to do with masks, vaccines, social distancing, politics, etc.
But rather it has to do with YOUR Frankie who is invalidating your validation…
“Why did you not become a real doctor instead of a chiropractor.”
“Why are you doing that MLM thing - it’s a pyramid scheme.”
“Who do you think you are to be a coach.”
“All lawyers are money motivated and take advantage of people.”
“Financial advisors charge excessive fees for things that people can now get for free.”
“You have no chance to make it as a dancer, singer, or entertainer.”
“Get a real job instead of the video game thing you do.”
“You are crazy to move away from your family.”
These are NOT my statements - these are the statements of YOUR Frankie.
So for the last time - embrace this and be bold, audacious and loud…
I can assure you that your attempt to invalidate me only validates me further because your invalidation is a sign of pain, uncertainty, and darkness in yourself. My sign of validation is light, freedom, and certainty.