“Dig into your past for meaning
But don't get stuck there.” - Jared Yellin
I absolutely LOVE my past…
I love my heartbreaks…
I love my business challenges…
I love my parents’ divorce…
I love my failures…
I love my pain that emerged when things did not go my way…
And I am most certainly not saying this to try and help myself cope.
My past has such depth and meaning, and because of it, I am able to be the man I am today…
But I will never forget the last date I went on before meeting my wife, Lindsay.
It was with a very very nice girl. I can’t remember her name so let’s call her Marge.
A date with me - as I am sure you can probably guess - was not a traditional experience.
I would DIG into the person…
I wanted to understand their drive…
I wanted to understand their definition of freedom…
I wanted to understand what they stood for…
I wanted to understand what they stand against…
I wanted to understand their vision, mission, and their CODE!
Every date I went on the other person would always say…
“You are definitely not typical!”
And this date was no different, but what was different is what emerged in our conversation.
Marge was telling me a story and in a very matter of fact way she said…
“At work, no one listens to me because they don’t care about what I have to say.”
And then she went on as if this statement was normal because to her it was…
She has been reciting the “no one cares about what I have to say,” for her entire life and this was one of those opportunities where a life was about to transform.
I asked her to pause for a moment and then said, “When did that start?”
She said, “What are you referring to?”
I said, “The limiting belief that no one cares about what you have to say.”
She just stared at me with wonder so I decided to seize the opportunity to help her understand that…
Her past had meaning…
But she can’t get stuck there…
I said, “Is there a chance this scenario took place in your life?”
“You are seven years-old and you went to the playground with your cousin and you were having the perfect day...All of a sudden your cousin started to play independently from you and you called her name, but she ran in the other direction. That was the moment when you created a new belief which is ‘no one cares about what I have to say.’”
Then I went on to say…
“Did you realize that when you called your cousin, your aunt also called your cousin at the exact same time to come in for dinner and she listened and kept on running? You then decided to interpret that experience as…
People don’t care what you have to say...FOR THE PAST 30+ YEARS!
Marge became visibly uncomfortable…
She started to drink a ton of water...
Sweat started on her forehead...
And she could not look me in the eyes…
So I said, “Marge, what’s bothering you? This is a safe place.”
She said, “Jared, that is the exact story that took place. How did you know that?”
Months later, Marge sent me an email to say how much that dinner changed her life. She was stuck in the past and as a result unable to enjoy her present.
And I wish Marge was an anomaly.
I wish she was one-of-a kind.
I wish that people learned to LOVE their past so that they would become IN LOVE with their present.
But unfortunately…
Most are STUCK!
Stuck because someone told you that you are not good enough...
Stuck because you were picked last on a team…
Stuck because you failed a class…
Stuck because you were bullied…
Stuck because your parents got divorced…
Stuck because you got fired from a job…
Stuck because someone dumped you...
Stuck because you did not get into the college of your dreams…
Stuck because someone died…
Stuck because someone said you don’t know how to love…
Stuck because you had to go to the prom alone...
The amount of STUCK in the world is disturbing because this means that people's past are controlling their present and future which means that they are held captive in their past which means that they will never experience FREEDOM unless they use their past for meaning and let go of stuck!
And here’s why I LOVE my past…
Because EVERYTHING in life is an OPPORTUNITY!
EVERY experience from your past is an opportunity…
EVERY painful moment from your past is an opportunity…
EVERY challenge from your past is an opportunity…
And when you make the decision to see everything as an opportunity something magical happens…
Your Past Will Have Meaning…
AND
You Won’t Get Stuck There!
Who’s ready?!?!?!
Live with Intention,
