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  • Writer's pictureJared Yellin

The Single Greatest Equalizer In Every Human Dynamic Is The Presence You Choose


Your presence is how you make people feel when you are with them and how people will remember you when you are without them.Your presence is how you make people feel when you are with them and how people will remember you when you are without them." - Jared Yellin

In every human dynamic, you have a decision that must be made…


Will you be remembered, OR will you be a number?


I totally understand that your teachers, preachers, and parents convinced you that the spotlight was for the “class clown,” but I want you to understand that the spotlight as you mature is for the person with the most presence.


NO, you don’t need to be a clown to get attention.

NO, you don’t need to be economically flashy to capture a room.

NO, you don’t need to be the loudest to stand out.


BUT what you do need to focus on is the PRESENCE you choose to bring.


I emphasize the words ‘YOU CHOOSE’ for a reason because NO ONE - and I repeat - NO ONE - has control, decision-making ability, or enough influence to alter your presence but YOU!


I don’t care how low your self-esteem is…

I don’t care how much imposter syndrome eats you up inside…

I don’t care if you are by far the poorest person in a room…


Your PRESENCE is a decision, and with any decision — you must start with the end in mind.


DINNER + DREAMS!


Your outcome of every human dynamic MUST BE…


People talk about you at dinner that evening with their significant other.

People dream about you after their dinner as they close their eyes for the night.


I can feel the judgement so let me neutralize it by calling it out…


This is NOT arrogant…

This is NOT ego-driven…

This is NOT conceited behavior…

This is NOT a god-mentality…

This is NOT a superiority complex…


But what this is, just so you can embrace the decision of DINNER + DREAMS, is the single most effective way to control how people feel when they are WITH you and how people will remember you when you are WITHOUT them.


Repeat After Me - Confidence Is My Presence, Never Tense, Never Hesitant


Your words will create your actions…

Your actions will create your outcomes…

Your outcomes will create your beliefs…


So…


REPEAT AFTER ME!


Confidence Is My Presence, Never Tense, Never Hesitant.


This statement has been the source of my edge in life, and it has served me from the field to the nightclub to the boardroom and everywhere in between.


It’s my anchor to ensure my presence is sharp, memorable, and intentional, and I declare it before, during, and after any meaningful human dynamic.


But this statement is more than words…


It’s a way of life and a strategy that will reinforce why YOU must choose your presence because the alternative of CONFIDENCE is insecure, doubtful, unsure, and any or all of these three will ensure that you don’t show up in the conversation at dinner and you don’t have a role in the dream that evening because you simply will not be remembered. 


Maybe you are still conditioned to believe that it’s better to fly under the radar and remain a wallflower, but I can ensure that regardless of whether you label yourself as an introvert or extrovert — your life will be better if and when you commit to becoming memorable. 


Because when you are memorable…


People think about you when they are not with you.

People talk about you when they are not with you.

People make connections with other people who can serve you.

People solve your problems for you.


And when you are forgettable…


NONE of the above happens, which means you are on an island trying to figure out your life.


REMEMBER…


Confidence Is My Presence, Never Tense, Never Hesitant.


6 Strategies To Harness The Power Of Your Presence 

Outside of using the anchor I shared above, there are 6 specific strategies that I have encouraged people to embrace in order to ensure their presence is one that can never be forgotten because it etches a place in the life of every human you have any dynamic with.


Strategy 1: Your presence is 100% in your control.

I love when people try and posture me by putting on a confident front or using words that I don’t understand or speaking really quickly and the reason I love when people do this to me is that MY PRESENCE is in MY CONTROL!


Whether their actions are intentional or not — I know what they are doing, and it won’t work on me, and it must not work on you.


This is why the CONFIDENT ANCHOR above matters because when you are in a human dynamic where someone other than you is attempting to control your presence, just use it:


Confidence Is My Presence, Never Tense, Never Hesitant.


NEVER tense.

NEVER hesitant.


Once you embrace that ALL YOU KNOW is that YOU control your presence - you become freaking unstoppable and when you are someone with high levels of integrity - which I know you are - it’s imperative that you become UNSTOPPABLE by controlling your PRESENCE.


Strategy 2: Whatever you see yourself as is what you will show up as.

The reason why I have committed to such a strong work ethic in my health and wellness lifestyle for the past 20+ years is because when I look in the mirror, I see muscles, I see strength, I see discipline, I see determination, I see an unstoppable force of nature. 


And this REALLY matters when it comes to how you SHOW UP in all human dynamics.


Listen, you don’t need 6-pack abs or veins coming out of your biceps to pull this off, but you MUST not only feel comfortable in your own skin but LOVE your freaking skin.


You must NOT see your faults.

You must NOT see your insecurities.

You must NOT see the pimple on your cheek or the cellulite on your thigh.

What you must see is the man or woman that becomes memorable in every human dynamic.


You MUST see yourself at their dinner.

You MUST see yourself in their dreams.

You MUST see yourself as the conduit of their achievements.

You MUST see yourself winning.


And if by any chance you DON’T see yourself this way - your presence will suffer, and your outcomes will lag.


Whenever I arrive at a virtual meeting or walk into an in-person session, all I see is…


JARED SHOWING UP WITH MAGNETIC PRESENCE WHICH IS INFUSED WITH CURIOSITY, SOLUTIONS, INFLUENCE, AND A BURNING DESIRE FOR EVERYONE TO WIN, WHICH MEANS I MUST WIN TOO! 


Strategy 3: Constantly check in on your presence meter.

You are human and your PRESENCE METER will wane at points of the day or even when in a networking environment, and the key is to know when it happens so that you can re-anchor the man or woman you are meant to show up as.


DECLARE IT…


Confidence Is My Presence, Never Tense, Never Hesitant


THEN…


Reimagine your unstoppable self.


THEN…


Own the image.


THEN


Become undeniably memorable because YOU chose your presence.


Strategy 4: Everyone poops. It’s your responsibility to make them sh**!

My mom hates when I say this, but the statement holds such importance when it comes to CHOOSING your presence because EVERYONE is your equal.


I don’t care if they have 7 more zeros on their bank account…

I don’t care if they are a supermodel…

I don’t care if their house or car or purse or wallet or attire is nicer than yours…

I don’t care if they know everyone in a room where you know no one…


But what I do know is this…


They all poop!


It’s an unavoidable basic human need.


They all sit on a toilet, and they poop, which normalizes them and makes them your equal because YOU poop too!


And when you control your presence, what happens is you make them sh**!


I don’t mean literally, but when your presence is in your control, the outcome is…


 “OH SH** you are onto something…”

 “OH SH** you have such great energy…”

 “OH SH** you are so inspiring…”


And YOU control this outcome…


YES - YOU control whether or not they sh** because no matter - just like you - they will poop - but when you take control of YOUR presence - the byproduct is SH**!


Strategy 5: You are by far the most interesting person in the room, but the key is to be the most interested.

You need some damn swagger because then you are onto something, and when you control your presence, and when you commit to dinner + dreams, you become the single most interesting person in the room, BUT you are not there to only speak about yourself, and instead, you're there to speak into the listening of each person you meet by BEING INTERESTED!


Learn about what they are proud of from their past…

Uncover what excites them in their present…

Ask what’s next to understand their vision for the future…


Once you collect this data…


SPEAK into their listening by telling your story, sharing your why, and declaring your moonshot but making it so undeniably relevant for them that they see a path to help you get where you want because when they do that, it helps them realize their vision faster. 


AND NO - just for the critics who are reading this - you are NOT arrogant AT ALL when you focus on BEING the most interesting person in the room while being the most interested at the same time.


Strategy 6: When your presence wins — everyone wins.

I must win ALWAYS!


Because when I WIN - everyone WINS!


And the same holds true for you.


If you know you are someone of the highest level of integrity…

If you know you are someone who loves humanity…

If you know you  are someone who is committed to impact…


Then it’s your MORAL RESPONSIBILITY to ensure that YOUR PRESENCE always WINS because when it does…


DINNER + DREAMS


Which then leads to…


WIN - WIN - WIN - WIN ….. Outcomes!


Because when someone is talking and thinking about how you made them FEEL when you are not even with them - it will yield transformative results in their life.


SO COMMIT WITH ME TO WIN - your presence MUST always WIN!


Now What?

Do you want see a virtual presentation I delivered to 4,100 people 12 years ago on behalf of one of my companies (SYNDUIT) called, “Do You Want To Become Revolutionary Or A WallFlower?”


There is timeless insight in this video beyond what I shared above, but the real NOW WHAT is to try your presence on for size.


I can assure you that every dream, aspiration, and desire will remain out of reach if you don’t have presence. 


No one - and I mean NO ONE - has ever achieved anything of significance without owning every ounce of energy in every room they entered. This does not mean they became the center of attention, nor did they have to act like a clown to be remembered, but they controlled the room by the presence they committed while in the room.


REMEMBER - you have ONE outcome.


DINNER + DREAMS


You must be part of their conversation at dinner and then in their dreams when they are sleeping - that’s the type of presence you can control.


So my answer to NOW WHAT is simple…


COMMIT TO YOUR PRESENCE!


I know you got this - let’s roll.


Live with Intention,






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