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“When someone else’s opinion of you matters more than ‘who you know you are’, their opinion will become ‘who you know you are not’.” - Jared Yellin
There is NOTHING that will diffuse your energy, motivation, and momentum more than caring what other people think.
They said you can’t, and then you won’t!
They said you shouldn’t, and then you don’t!
But WHY DO THEY MATTER?
This is NOT a rhetorical question…
It requires an answer from YOU!
When someone shares an opinion about what you are about to do or doing – why does it matter?
Do they have a crystal ball?
Do they have the ability to simulate an outcome?
Do they have a superpower to predict the future?
NO
NO
NO
But yet, their opinion matters more than your desire.
You might have the desire for an adventure…
You might have the desire to try something new…
You might have the desire to be bold…
But yet, their opinion matters more than your desire.
And there is NOTHING that steals more dreams, wastes more potential, and leads to always wondering what could have been than…
Allowing someone else’s opinion to WIN!
This does not mean you ignore someone who might have some valuable insight…
This does not mean you avoid mentorship…
This does not mean you carelessly take action…
But what it does mean is this FOR ME…
I would rather try and fall short than wonder what would have happened if I actually tried.
But there is something else which is essential to realize and for me I learned this lesson when I was in 10th grade…
I was the atypical Honors student in high school.
Top athlete…
Extremely popular…
And did not care at all about learning inside a classroom or within a textbook…
My Honors English teacher in 10th grade was a woman by the name of Ms. Hade (pretty ironic last name!).
Within ONE WEEK, Ms. Hade accused me of smoking pot in the bathroom (because my eyes were puffy due to Spring-time New Jersey allergies) and then plagiarism.
Regarding the pot, I was as clean as you could possibly be since athletics was my go-to in high school.
Regarding plagiarism, not only did I not plagiarize, but I actually completely made up the story I wrote because I did not want to read the book, which was supposed to be the motivation for the piece.
But the second accusation is a big deal which led to a conference with my parents, Ms. Hade, the head of the English department, and my guidance counselor. During this meeting, my father asked Ms. Hade, “Why do you think Jared plagiarized?” Her response…
“The writing was too good to be Jared’s. He is simply not a good writer.”
Remember what I shared above…
There is NOTHING that will diffuse your energy, motivation, and momentum more than caring what other people think.
I had a choice to make…
Believe Ms. Hade
Or
Believe in Myself
And anything other than 100% BELIEVE in myself meant that I was believing in Ms. Hade.
Fast forward to today…
I have published 10,000s of ORIGINAL pieces of content and have accomplished more in any given week than Ms. Hade did in a lifetime.
This last statement is not emotionally charged - it’s factual - the same way it WILL BE factual for YOU if you chose to believe in yourself versus the person who is attempting to distract, derail, and tear you down.
Because what I have come to realize is that the ONLY people who spew their opinions of you onto you are those who have unresolved desires that YOU are about to achieve, which makes them feel less than who they are. So instead of picking you up and motivating you, they look to tear you down and destroy you.
So once again…
Who will you believe?
Your version of Ms. Hade
Or
Yourself!
And if you are wondering how I have been able to absolutely master not giving a shizzle about what anyone thinks about ME besides for me – there is my formula!
The Science Of Not Giving A Sh**
I am going to refer as the opinionated as a dipsh** – this is by no means to demoralize their character, but rather, it’s a reminder for you to realize what they say DOES NOT matter!
And if you were wondering, this is how you define a dipsh**...
dip·shit
/ˈdipˌSHit/
Noun vulgar slang • North American
a contemptible or inept person.
Now it’s time to dig into a formula that has served me in ways I can never truly put into words…
Decision 1: Engage your humble swagger.
Humble swagger is by far the most magnetic, most attractive, and most unstoppable energy that anyone can deploy.
Let’s break it down…
HUMBLE = willingness to learn
SWAGGER = you know you have the edge
Either of these energies on their own are suboptimal because coming across too humble will lead people to believe that you don’t know what you are doing AND coming across with too much swagger will lead people to believe that you are a know-it-all.
But when combined…
UNSTOPPABLE – literally undeniable, impenetrable, and immortal.
It’s also THE FORCE that shuts the door to people spewing opinions onto you.
My humble swagger is so strong that I am still 100000% approachable, but I am equally as shut off to uninvited opinions as I am approachable so people don’t even try.
AND this is my goal for you…
The opinionators of the world will always exist, but what will neutralize their ability to spew on you is your humble swagger.
Decision 2: Audit the dipsh**.
Now, if for some reason the dipsh** is able to penetrate your humble swagger because you are still learning how to tap into this energy, the next thing you must do is audit them.
I literally mean WRITE DOWN what you observe.
Their opinion is focused on xyz.
How accomplished are they in xyz?
For example…
Ms. Hade’s opinion was about me as a writer.
How accomplished was Ms. Hade as a writer? A big ZERO!
SOOOOO
Why should I even entertain her spewing when her words are derived from deep insecurities.
And the same holds true for you…
The person spewing about your entrepreneurial goals…
Is most likely a failed entrepreneur.
The person spewing about your desire for a wild and exciting marriage…
Is most likely a person with an undesirable marriage.
The person spewing about how you are raising your children…
Is most likely a suboptimal parent.
Audit the dipsh** and free yourself of their opinions…
Decision 3: Be served.
But if for some reason the dipsh** still penetrates and gets more integrated than you desire into your decision…
LET THEM SERVE YOU!
Have them become your catalyst for transformation and growth.
Have them become your drive for success and impact.
Have them become your energy for all of your goals and ambitions.
Ms. Hade SERVED me in ways that she thought she would destroy me.
EVERYTIME I write a piece like I am writing now – I thank her for lighting my internal bonfire.
EVERYTIME I am published or praised – I thank her for igniting my soul.
EVERYTIME I am acknowledged for my work – I thank her for trying to stop me.
EVERY dipsh** is here to serve you because EVER dipsh** is going to shine a spotlight on what you already know but need a reminder of…
Which is…
Decision 4: Declare “I am the sh**!”
I always knew I was a great writer.
I did not need Ms. Hade to shine a spotlight, but then again, maybe I did.
No different than Michael Jordan being cut from his high school team.
No different than Oprah Winfrey being told she was not suitable for tv.
No different than Einstein being labeled as having learning disabilities.
Each of these people KNEW + KNOW they are the sh** but the event that took place in their lives became their war cry.
NO ONE WILL DEFINE ME BUT ME!
NO ONE WILL STOP ME BUT ME!
NO ONE WILL INFLUENCE ME BUT ME!
BECAUSE…
Say it loud…
Sat it proud…
Say it often…
Say it will humble swagger…
“I am the sh**!”
Decision 5: Pray
Finally, PRAY!
Those who spew are suffering.
Those who share uninvited opinions are in pain.
Those who attempt to destroy are already destroyed.
So…
PRAY…
Pray for their peace.
Pray for their self-awareness.
Pray for their breakthrough.
AND
BE what they never were able to become, so they can see it’s possible and hopefully with your prayers, they will expand their perimeter of possibility and begin to BECOME what you are NOW!
Now What?
Stop caring.
Stop believing in them.
Stop stopping.
AND
Start recognizing that the ONLY opinion of YOU that matters is your own…
Start pursuing your goals and aspirations with reckless abandon…
Start stepping up even more for the world, but most importantly, for yourself…
AND remember…
“When someone else’s opinion of you matters more than ‘who you know you are’, their opinion will become ‘who you know you are not’.”
The MORE you CARE, the MORE you BARE and the more you BARE the more exposed you are to being influenced by the wrong influencer.
From a very young age I realized that the only person that can influence me to do or not do something is myself.
I don’t play the game of peer pressure…
I don’t participate in uninvited opinions…
I don’t listen to those who have not accomplished what I desire…
ALL of this is liberating…
ALL of this is motivating…
ALL of this makes me unstoppable…
And guess what…
ALL of this will be yours THE MOMENT you declare…
I would rather try and fall short than wonder what would have happened if I actually tried.
I am here with you and for you always - we are pacing together - because together we are unstoppable.
Live with Intention,
