The Only Universally Defined Word

“Do the right thing, regardless of who is watching.” - Jared Yellin

I am open to debate, but there is only ONE WORD that is universally defined - which means - there is only ONE definition. 

INTEGRITY

Do the right thing, regardless of who is watching.

I believe this is the most important truth to embrace and I drive this point home with my children on a daily basis.

But let me explain why I’ve decided to write an entire article on this one word…

Do the right thing, regardless of who is watching.

Without question, everyone knows that integrity means to do the right thing, but the missing link for most is everything after the comma…

regardless of who is watching.

I have met countless people who have mastered what’s right WHEN someone or someones are watching.

They want to give the perception of being a good human…

They want to imply that their motive is honest and pure…

They want to make it seem they are caring, loving, and empathetic…

But where the rubber meets the road is when…

They think…

NO ONE OF SIGNIFICANCE  IS WATCHING!

How do they show up behind closed doors?

How do they treat their family, friends, and colleagues?

How do they do the right thing, regardless of who is watching?

I’ve worked with people who have amassed extreme levels of influence, built an evangelical following due to the public image they have established, have won awards and received countless accolades, but behind the scenes verbally abuse their employees, cheat on their spouses, and are absent from their children.

Many of these people have stood on stages and preached integrity, but their actions off stage contradict the message they broadcast to the masses. 

The perception they “sell” to the world is completely misaligned with the actions and words they offer to the people who TRULY matter most…

Their family…

Their friends…

Their colleagues…

And even…

Themselves!

Living a misaligned life where you are one person in public and another person behind closed doors is the single and most destructive path to not only create irreversible damage for the people in your life BUT it’s also the catalyst for a life controlled by demons.

Because even if this misaligned individual has fooled the world, they will NEVER - EVER - be able to fool themselves even if they are a narcissistic sociopath (which usually they are).

But there are THREE important reasons for this article and I want to be overt with it because I believe it’s a message that is imperative for you or someone you know to read…

1. If you are on the receiving end of someone who lives a contradictory life, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE know that the problem is NOT you. It’s 100% them even if they are trying to convince you otherwise – get out now!

2. If you are the person who is living a contradictory life where you have tricked the world to believe you are a man or woman of integrity, BUT you are destroying the lives of innocent people behind the scenes – STOP and realize you are better than this. Do the right thing, regardless of who is watching.

3. PLEASE reach out to me if you are in need. I have encountered many people who live a contradictory life that is hurting innocent souls and I want to be of service to you.

And finally…

PLEASE audit yourself DAILY!

We are all human and as humans we are perfectly imperfect so take a few moments each day and assess and reassess the following five realizations to ensure that you are ALWAYS operating within integrity…

Do the right thing, regardless of who is watching.

5 Realizations To Ensure You Are ALWAYS Operating Within Integrity

1. Will your kids be proud to tell their kids about you?

I am far from perfect - I am a human just like you - but one thing I do is audit my actions, decisions, and interactions and the primary way I do this is by answering this very important question…

Will the most important thing in my life be proud of me…my kids!

Our children learn more through osmosis than any textbook, course, or school.

They learn by observing, feeling, and  modeling.

If they see you as someone in public but experience you as someone different in private – the someone you are in public will become something they resent to their core.

So…

Whether it’s a business decision, conversation with my wife, or a commitment I make to myself – will my children be proud of me?!?!

This is why…

I only pursue business that has a multifaceted win – money, transformation, and purpose.

I put the needs and desires of my wife at the forefront of everything I do.

I never miss a day at the gym or violate my hard work with unhealthy food.

I know my children will model ME and I know that what they model will be the right thing, regardless of who is watching.

This article has nothing to do with me, but I am using myself as an example for you. Check yourself daily and assess whether or not your children will be proud. 

If yes, do more of whatever you just did. 

If no, fix it and explain to them what you learned. 

2. On your quest to impact millions of lives you will absolutely need to ruffle a few dozen feathers…

This realization is often hard for people to come to terms with but I am a realist…

I have very significant aspirations for my life…

I see a life where the impact I am able to cause has a ripple effect for generations to come AND I am certain that as I impact millions to billions of people, there will absolutely be a handful that are disrupted. It’s NEVER my intention to disrupt, but it’s the cost of doing big things AND I would rather go for the impact of millions to billions and ruffle a few feathers than never try in fear of the few that will be ruffled.

THIS is living a life of integrity.

Integrity does not mean you take the easy way out, but what it does mean is you leave no potential on the field.

You give everything your all even if/when your all will be met with adversity and criticism.

I get it. This is not for the faint of heart, but what I also get is that it’s our moral responsibility to reach our potential in this life with integrity and the few dozen who have been ruffled are worth the millions who will be transformed.

GO FOR IT and don’t look back!

3. Take 100% Responsibility for EVERY outcome in your life.

If it’s going to be – it’s up to me!

Just keep on reminding yourself of this.

There have been many times in my life that what I attempted to do did not work the way I had hoped…

So what do you do?!

The right thing, regardless of who is watching.

What do you NOT do…

Point fingers…

Retreat…

Ignore it…

Hide…

Confront whatever it is head on and let me repeat…

DO the right thing, regardless of who is watching.

And just so we are clear…

Sometimes the RIGHT thing is not easy.

It’s expensive.

It’s time-consuming.

It’s exhausting.

BUT…

The right thing is the right thing regardless of effort and  REGARDLESS of who is watching.

4. Ensure what you SAY and DO are always in alignment.

The #1 way to judge the character of a human is whether their words and actions align…

If they SAY they love their spouse, but they CHEAT (aka DO) – they lack integrity.

If they SAY their children are their #1 priority, but they are NEVER present – they lack integrity.

If they SAY their team at work is everything, but they TAKE ALL THE CREDIT – they lack integrity.

Here’s the lesson in all of this…

WORDS DON’T MATTER…PERIOD!

I don’t care about what ANYONE says – what I weigh is what they DO!

DO they DO the right thing, regardless of who is watching?

5. Look in the mirror every morning and evening and stare into your own eyes which are the windows to your soul.

What I have seen as a result of being exposed to many people who talk the talk of integrity, but DO NOT live integrity is that they are BLIND to who they truly are…

They are unable to look themselves in the eyes because their eyes are the window to their soul and the soul knows the truth…

They LACK integrity!

So…

They avoid mirrors…

They avoid introspection…

They avoid coaching…

They avoid mentorship…

And they continue to operate from this space of contradiction…

But here’s where YOU can rise above and check yourself.

EVERY evening and EVERY morning – look into your soul.

Analyze where you have operated from a space of integrity and where improvements need to be made.

You are human. You will absolutely fall off track, but the key is how quickly you can identify the contradiction and destroy it.

Now What?

I want to share a handful of things to look out for and/or do because there is a chance you are the subject of a contradictory human who is slowly chipping away and ruining your life…

1. If someone says they operate from integrity – they don’t! Integrity is unspoken. It goes without question and should never be broadcasted.

2. If the way you feel is less than you desire, it’s NOT you. Run, quit, leave your situation before it gets worse.

3. Speak out – don’t let someone get away with this behavior. Expose the truth and remember sunlight is the best disinfectant.

4. Never lose sight of who you are and be convinced that you are anything but your most pure and authentic self. The world needs you to rise above the abuse you might be experiencing.

5. Realize you are not alone. I guarantee there are countless others who are subject to the same abuse you are right now. Band together and put an end to the misperceptions.

I know this is not easy and even writing this article was challenging for me because when I revisit the countless people who I have met on my journey who violated this universally defined word – it always brings back sharp and painful memories.

But what I also know is the following…

Your life is precious in a way that words can never describe.

You have one shot to be the parent you have always dreamed of…

You have one shot to be the spouse you have always envisioned…

You have one shot to be the entrepreneur or employee who makes a difference…

You have one shot to be the healthiest version of yourself…

And the ONLY thing that will prevent your one shot from becoming everything you want and more is if YOU operate out of integrity OR you are on the receiving end of someone who is operating outside of integrity.

SO…

If it’s you – CHANGE YOUR WAYS NOW. It’s never too late to say I am sorry and it will never happen again.

If it’s someone else – BREAK TIES NOW. You deserve better and you must have the courage to go for your better.

I know this is not easy - but - it’s imperative to realize…

Integrity is the ONLY universally defined word…

Do the right thing, regardless of who is watching.

I am here for you always - that will never change - reach out so I can support and remember TOGETHER we can and will achieve anything.

Live with Intention,