"If every comment uttered your way was perceived as a compliment you would walk around each day with the deepest level of certainty that you are doing something big, important, and necessary."
- Jared Yellin
I realized something pretty liberating the other day…
EVERYTHING people say to me is a compliment…
You might be thinking - come on now Jared, stop being so egotistical, but this has nothing to do with ego and instead has everything to do with certainty.
When someone praises my efforts - I say THANK YOU!
When someone critics my efforts - I say THANK YOU!
When someone honors my accomplishments - I say THANK YOU!
When someone doubts my accomplishments - I say THANK YOU!
When someone admires my commitment - I say THANK YOU!
When someone challenges my commitment - I say THANK YOU!
Because the critic, doubter, and challenger don’t have what I want, which means if they are expressing their feelings about me I take it as a compliment.
For example...
There were many people who boldly criticized my decision to launch CILA Labs for various reasons and all I heard was compliments, compliments, compliments as they validated I was onto something because…
They don't have the success I want…
They don't have the family life I want…
They don't have the impact I want…
They don't have the money I Want…
They don't have the health I want…
They have NOTHING I want…
So…
I interpret their negativity as a compliment because the last thing I want is to become like them!
The same thing happened during my VERY VERY short stint of attempting to be an employee.
Just for the record - I am perpetually unemployable!
But I did try for 6-months while working on Wall Street.
One of the things I did to make the experience my own was develop a weekly personal development email series called Jared Yellin Revisited. The email would go out every Friday to all of my contacts and headspace related topics and people LOVED it!
But my compliance department was NOT a fan and the head of compliance wanted to speak immediately…
He told me, “You are a financial advisor, NOT a psychologist, stop sending emails like that.”
Well, first off I am WAYYY more than a Financial Advisor and secondly, I have never claimed to be a psychologist but now that you have complimented me, I want you to know why I appreciate your feedback…
You don't have the success I want…
You don't have the family life I want…
You don't have the impact I want…
You don't have the money I Want…
You don't have the health I want…
You don’t have ANYTHING I want…
And remember…
ZERO ego…
ALL truth and all validation that you are onto something!
Living In A Perpetual State Of Compliments Is Liberating!
I recommend you try living in this state and the strategy is simple…
Does the critic have something that you yearn to have but currently don’t?
If yes, listen and learn.
If no, hear their feedback from a place of love and support and as a COMPLIMENT!
And if you struggle shifting your perspective because you are so hyper sensitive to wanting everyone to like and appreciate you then please know that the moment you begin to live in the state of compliment is the moment you step into a place of self-worth and happiness.
I can’t imagine what’s more valuable than happiness and worth.
This exercise plays a vital role in making it real!
Live with Intention,
