“Most people don’t have what they want because of no reason other than they negotiate with themselves. They negotiate against their goals, they negotiate against their newly formed habits, they negotiate against their ultimate desires. The ONLY way to get what you want is to define and adhere to your non-negotiables.” - Jared Yellin
What if there was only ONE person that represented your kryptonite?
What if this ONE person had a secret weapon that would immediately stop you in your tracks?
What if this ONE person knew something about you that they could hold over your head?
What if this ONE person stood between where you are and where you want to be?
What if this ONE person is none other than…
YOU!
This is the person who shows up and makes you hit snooze on the alarm clock…
This is the person who “forgets” it’s date night…
This is the person who forces you to eat that twinkie…
This is the person who scrolls your finger on your phone during the connectivity time you have with your child…
This is the person who convinces you to stay up late so that you can’t wake up in the morning…
This is the person who tells you that your goals are too big, too audacious, and impossible…
This is the person who evokes fear around entrepreneurship and getting what you want…
This is the person who will sabotage your desires UNLESS YOU DEFINE + ADHERE TO YOUR NON-NEGOTIABLES.
A Person Without Non-Negotiables Is The Ultimate Threat To Themselves, To Society, And To The World…
A person without Non-Negotiables will have an extraordinarily difficult time making progress...
A person without Non-Negotiables will be influenced by the opinions of others on a regular basis…
A person without Non-Negotiables will second guess every decision they make and drive themselves nuts…
A person without Non-Negotiables will absolutely live a life of pain, frustration, and regret…
I hate to come across in such a morbid and dark way, but I have yet to meet anyone, and I am positive this will hold true in the future as well, who negotiates against themselves AND has a rewarding and abundant life.
I know people who have high levels of financial success, but they are miserable because they never defined or adhered to their Non-Negotiables.
I know people who live paycheck to paycheck, but they have defined and adhere to their Non-Negotiables and as a result, feel like they HAVE IT ALL and THEY DO!
I know people who are “leading from the front,” have a massive following, awards and accolades galore, but they cry themselves to sleep each night because they never defined or adhered to their Non-Negotiables.
I know people who work a 9 to 5 job at a very large company, would be considered just a number in the masses of employees, don’t really do anything meaningful in their work, but yet, smile themselves to sleep because they have defined and adhere to their Non-Negotiables.
And the most fascinating thing I realized about Non-Negotiables is that you are NOT born with them, you are NOT given them, and they will NOT just show up in your life…
You must carefully and intentionally define them by making the choice to put in the thought, energy, discipline AND be willing to follow through even when your little voice OR the little voice of someone else shows up.
My point is…
ANYONE can do this!
So, What Are Non-Negotiables?
non·ne·go·tia·ble | \ ˌnän-ni-ˈgō-sh(ē-)ə-bəl \
Definition of nonnegotiable
: not negotiable
especially : not open to discussion or reconsideration
a list of nonnegotiable demands
a nonnegotiable fee
Okay, the above represents the dictionary.com definition, but Non-Negotiables are even deeper than this…
Here’s the 4 ingredient equation I use…
What You Stand For
+Your Code
+Your Ultimate Desire
+Your Schedule_____
Your Non-Negotiables
Yes, this takes work, but it’s the type of work that will enable you to have the life you want and I can’t imagine there ever being something that is more worth it than having the life you want...
Let’s break this down…
WHAT YOU STAND FOR…
After working with and supporting over 100,000 businesses across dozens of industries, I have seen the pain that the entire business must endure when the owner and the team do not have crystal clarity of WHAT they STAND for…
From businesses who are constantly on defense (you can’t score points on defense!)...
To businesses who ebb and flow like a roller coaster…
To businesses that cannot retain any team members…
To businesses that are on the brink of death…
Lack of clarity of WHAT you STAND for is not only painful for you, but it is painful to watch since you are missing your North Star.
On the other hand, businesses who are hyper-clear on their stance in a way that is easy for them to understand and easy for others to digest as well are on a fast-track to success, impact, and FREEDOM!
I want to help move you down the path of CRYSTAL (yes CRYSTAL) Clarity because your BRAND is your STAND - and your STAND is not the perfect shade of orange for your logo, but rather it is the reason you exist as an entrepreneur.
AND GUESS WHAT…
All of this has NOTHING to do with business and instead it has EVERYTHING to do with YOUR LIFE!
People who don’t know what they STAND FOR can’t be an EPIC PARENT or EMPLOYEE or FRIEND or CHILD or ANYTHING…
Because when you STAND FOR NOTHING you are SWAYED BY EVERYTHING and if you are SWAYED BY EVERYTHING, you are missing the FIRST ingredient to defining and adhering to your NON-NEGOTIABLES!
Now What?
You must take action and NOT get too romantic with this. Trust me, Hallmark is not going to hire you based on what you stand for, but your IDEAL customer, client, and/or patient will OR your spouse, friend, child, parent, or anyone else that matters to you, so we need to get to work and I REALLY don’t want you to belabor this...just go through these five questions immediately…
Question 1 - What Do You Stand Against?
Question 2 - What Has Been Consistent When Looking Back On Your Journey To Where You Stand Today?
Question 3 - What Topics Allow You To Lose Track Of Time And Place Because You Are So Immersed?
Question 4 - When You Lost Track Of Time And Place, How Does It Make You Feel?
Question 5 - Define Your Stance In 30 Words Or Less And Declare… I STAND FOR ______________
And if you are wondering…
I STAND to simplify the COMPLEXITIES in life and business because COMPLEXITY equals CAPTIVITY and CAPTIVITY prevents FREEDOM and I STAND to help people experience FREEDOM!
+Your Code
I have gone into extraordinary detail on Programming Your Code and I encourage you to bookmark this article for a later read, but here’s the just of it...
“Some have defined their values, but few have programmed their CODE. Your values are what you believe while your CODE is how you live.” -Jared Yellin
EVERYONE has a CODE…
Most don’t know…
Few will ever find out…
And those that do - just have a better life.
And one more final point…
Your CODE is only for your eyes.
It can be a total mess…
It can make NO sense…
It can be grammatically all over the place…
It can be written in symbols…
It can be difficult to understand…
The only thing that matters is that IT’S YOUR TRUTH and YOU GET IT - like fully GET IT and IMMERSE yourself in it.
So, here we go with the FIVE steps…
Step 1: What is the single most important thing that people should think about when they think of you?
Step 2: Based on step #1 - What does perfection look like and be crazy specific?
Step 3: Now it’s time to take that chaos and write one run-on sentence that represents your perfection.
Step 4: But you are human - What will you do when you don’t achieve perfection with your CODE?
Step 5: Get hyper-specific into the areas where you expect perfection in your CODE and document your findings.
Your CODE is more than your VALUES because your CODE is for you whereas your values are for the world AND I can assure you that this is NOT semantics.
I have been LIVING my code for as long as I can remember and almost no one even knows what it is…
Because it’s not for them…
Whereas VALUES usually are…
Values are plastered on websites…
Values are discussed in conversation…
Values look and sound good…
AND YES, values are important, but they are NOT your code.
Your CODE is what drives the things you do, what you think, and what you say.
Your CODE is your catalyst in all areas of life.
Your CODE is the reason you are able to make progress when most can’t.
I hope you can see the importance of Programming Your Code and I encourage you to read this article for a deeper dive.
+Your Ultimate Desire
What do you even want?
And I don’t mean in health, finances, or your career…
I mean REALLY specifically what do you want…
For example…
I want FREEDOM so every action I take allows me to acquire more and more FREEDOM…
Recently, we moved our family to Naples, FL because where we were living was impacting our FREEDOM of choice.
PERIOD!
Ultimate Desire = FREEDOM!
But it’s not just in real-time…
Where do you want to live?
How do you want to construct your day?
What do you want to do during the morning, afternoon and evening?
Who do you want to spend time with?
What hobbies do you want to explore?
Where do you want to travel?
How much money do you want and need?
What is your ideal health?
Who are you as a parent?
What does your career look like?
Tell me about your nutritional plan.
When does exercise fit into your life?
Explain your quality of life.
What role do spirituality and faith play?
How do you want to learn new things?
What do you want to explore?
For me…
Every question on the list above moves me towards FREEDOM…
Parenting
Relationship
Health
Geographical
Career
Financial
EVERYTHING!
And the reason I have what I do is because I know what my ultimate desires are…
Fuzzy targets CAN’T get hit...PERIOD!
So, now what?
Do the ULTIMATE DESIRE exercise from above and layer in other questions that matter to you…
Document them for your eyes and your eyes only…
And DON’T let your voice of sabotage stand between you and your ULTIMATE DESIRES!
This is more than goal setting - this is ULTIMATE DESIRES - like the big, audacious, positively overwhelming desires you have for your life.
+Your Schedule
This is the make or break ingredient…
YOUR FREAKIN SCHEDULE will make or break your life…
And almost NO ONE takes this precious, delicate, essential structure seriously.
Your 24-Hour Schedule - YES, it’s a 24-Hour Schedule, will either enable you to get what you want in life or it will prevent you and if you choose NOT to structure your schedule I can GUARANTEE with a BIG BOLD G that you will NOT have what you want.
EVERY successful person I know - and I don’t mean just financial - OWNS their day…
They own every second, every minute, and every hour.
Nothing happens by chance and if/when the unexpected occurs, they are able to swiftly and quickly move things around to ensure everything gets done.
Let’s take one step back…
24-HOUR SCHEDULE?!?!?!
Yes, you better believe it…
I schedule when I sleep…
I schedule when I eat…
I schedule when I am a dad...
I schedule when I am a husband…
I schedule when I am creative…
I schedule my health…
I schedule my meetings…
I schedule my weekends…
And I know what you are thinking…
UGHHH, rigidity!
UGHHH, lack of flexibility!
UGHHH, I need time to just chill!
And guess what…
My schedule gives me the structure, flexibility, and time to chill because I SCHEDULE IT!
I schedule when I wake up at 4 am and when I go to sleep at 11 pm.
I schedule when I shut down for the day at 5 pm.
I schedule when I write articles like this.
I schedule when it’s date night.
I literally schedule every second, every minute, and every hour of every day throughout the entire year.
And if you can’t imagine doing this - then I better not imagine your ideal life because I have never met someone who has what they want in all areas without a precise schedule.
So…
Pick the things that MATTER to you and schedule them into your routine --- right now!
And to give you an idea, this is my typical schedule…
4 am: Wake Up And Create
5 am: Gym + Personal Development
6 am: Morning Nutrition and Self-Care
7 am: Creative
9 am - 5pm: Meetings
12 pm: Afternoon Nutrition
3 pm: Mid-Day Nutrition
5 pm - 8pm: Dad
8 pm - 9:30pm: Prep For Next Day
9:30 pm -11 pm: Husband
11 pm: Sleep
I get a TON done because everything is scheduled and I encourage you to adopt this discipline as well.
=Non-Negotiables
Okay, the destination AND the beginning…
When you go through this process, what it helps you develop and adhere to are your NON-NEGOTIABLES.
Your NON-NEGOTIABLES become your filter for decision-making...
Your NON-NEGOTIABLES become your filter for relationships…
Your NON-NEGOTIABLES become your filter for what you do and what you don’t do…
Your NON-NEGOTIABLES will drive you forward with SWEAT (hard work) not BLOOD (muscling your way through).
Please read this at least 4x…
Your NON-NEGOTIABLES will make your life worth living….
Your NON-NEGOTIABLES will make your life worth living….
Your NON-NEGOTIABLES will make your life worth living….
Your NON-NEGOTIABLES will make your life worth living….
I can’t emphasize enough how critically important this is…
The REASON you are overweight...
The REASON you don’t have the relationship you desire…
The REASON you hate your career…
The REASON you are not financially abundant…
The REASON you don’t have the connection with your kids you want…
Is 100% because you have not developed or adhered to your NON-NEGOTIABLES!
And the REASON I DO have all of the above and more is because….
I DEVELOPED AND ADHERE TO MY NON-NEGOTIABLES EVERY SINGLE DAY!
And I have MANY, but here are a few so you can GET how this works…
I live to make my children proud
Kids first - ALWAYS!
Health + Freedom...period
I will never sell a product, service, mission or cause that does not deliver on the promise
Remain loyal to your intimate partner
I am in full integrity when I ruffle the feathers of a few to support the many
Ego has zero space in my life
Insecurity will be demolished in my presence
Bringing others down to lift yourself up means I will demolish you
Toxic-free is the only way to be
You might be thinking - Jared, some of these are harsh.
And my response is - YES, they are meant to be HARSH. They are NON-NEGOTIABLE!
AND AND…
I have many others, but instead of reading my NON-NEGOTIABLES, it’s time for you to create YOUR OWN!
Now What?!?!
Do the work…
OR
Don’t get what you want in life…
I love when the universe conspires and only gives you ONE OPTION.
It makes decision making easy.
And the ONE OPTION is defining and adhering to your Non-Negotiables by following the steps that I laid out in this article.
And I PROMISE x 100000000 it is worth every second of effort because once they are established…
You will FINALLY WIN the negotiation that you have consistently LOST and get what you ultimately desire!
Live with Intention,
JY