“I would rather do life and business alone than to do it with the wrong person/people. BE SELECTIVE!”
- Jared Yellin
A good friend of mine once told me 100% of the problems that have emerged in his life are the result of letting the wrong person into his world.
Let that sink in and then think how it relates to you…
For me…
Each business deal gone wrong is because I said YES to the wrong person/people…
Each personal relationship that went astray and caused stress was because I said YES to the wrong person…
Each friendship that created more drama than it was worth was because I said YES to the wrong person…
And I am 100% certain that the same holds true for you!
But the thought of doing anything alone is often riddled with fear for people…
So instead, saying YES to the wrong person is the option of choice and the challenges that emerge are wayyyyy more painful than just experiencing moments of solitude.
I always tell people that it’s better to experience silence than to fill your silence with noise.
What I mean by this statement is to get comfortable with your thoughts and don’t feel the need to drown your thoughts with the noise that the wrong person will create.
This might look like ALWAYS needing to call someone on the phone whenever you are alone…
This might look like ALWAYS needing to invite someone to share a meal versus giving yourself the gift of a meal alone…
This might look like ALWAYS needing to enroll someone in a business initiative versus innovating with your own ideas.
Listen - I believe 1+1 should equal WAYYYY more than 2 so it’s not about NOT pursuing meaningful WIN-WIN relationships, but it is about getting clear on what those relationships look like AND avoiding ones that are 1+1 = -.5 which means both parties achieve LESS together then they would have on their own.
And like everything - your relationships should go through the filter of your Non-Negotiables, which consist of What You Stand For, Your CODE, Your Ultimate Desires, and Your Schedule…
Allow me to explain…
If What You Stand For does not align with a potential relationship and/or What They Stand For does not align with you - then this is a relationship that should be filtered out.
If Your CODE is a mismatch with a potential relationship - then this is a relationship that should be filtered out.
If Your Ultimate Desires don’t become more attainable because of a potential relationship - then this is a relationship that should be filtered out.
If Your Schedule does not align with the potential relationship - then this is a relationship that should be filtered out.
I encourage you to get hyper clear on what you are seeking by means of a relationship - whether it’s personal or professional - and then document the non-negotiable characteristics that must be present and be particular. Every person on the planet has finite space for relationships, and I would rather see you spend some time in solitude than to fill this coveted space with the wrong person or people.
You already have what you need to get what you want - relationships are accelerators FOR SURE, but the wrong relationships could become a detractor as well.
Finally, have the courage to declare that a relationship is not serving you because the moment you do - is the moment you create more space for something that will satisfy your needs and keep you protected from the liability of an unhealthy, unproductive, and ineffective relationship.
I know this won’t be easy for most - but I am certain it’s worth it.
People are either RIGHT or WRONG for you - the key is to make this decision.
And And And - I know you can!
Live with Intention,
