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Become ExplainLESS

“If you still need to explain yourself to your most intimate network, then you are associating with the wrong people." - Jared Yellin

I was blessed with an atomic bomb distinction recently when a new business partner said…


“You NEVER need to explain yourself to me.”


This statement rocked me and what it helped me realize is the more you feel the need to EXPLAIN your actions, situations, decisions, etc. to those around you, the more you need to change those you are around.


The only reason to ever EXPLAIN anything is because you feel the need to justify an action, because it might be met with disdain or bring clarity to a circumstance in fear of being judged. 


Before I continue – the act of educating and explaining are two different things.


EDUCATING is defined as assisting in the development of comprehensive understanding.

EXPLAINING is defined as clarifying an existing point.


There is a strong chance that when you say something to someone that they ask a question…


Let’s use COVID as an example because I was adamantly opposed to the masks and the vaccines (and this is NOT meant to be a polarizing article – it’s going to prove a VERY important point for you)....


Example Conversation #1 between John Smith and John Doe…


JS: “I adamantly stand against the vaccine and masks.”JD: “Can you share more information with me, so that I can better understand your feelings and decision?”


In the above example, John Doe is asking a question to become more EDUCATED.


Example Conversation #2 between John Smith and John Doe…


JS: “I adamantly stand against the vaccine and masks.”JD: “Ok.”

JS: “There has been limited to no testing on the vaccine, the side effects have the potential to be worse than what it’s supposedly going to prevent, and masks are proven not to work.”


In the above example, John Smith feels the need to EXPLAIN himself, JUSTIFY his decision, and CONVINCE John Doe of his stance.


Example Conversation #3 between John Smith and John Doe…


JS: “I adamantly stand against the vaccine and masks.”JD: “You are going to kill someone because of your ignorance.”

JS: “There has been limited to no testing on the vaccine, the side effects have the potential to be worse than what it’s supposedly going to prevent, and masks are proven not to work.”


In the above example, John Smith feels the need to EXPLAIN himself, JUSTIFY his decision, and CONVINCE John Doe of his stance since John Doe combatted his statement.


There is a really important lesson in these three examples…


In Example #1, John Smith did not feel the need to explain anything – he just gave more information to John Doe to help educate him.


In Example #2, John Smith felt obligated to EXPLAIN why he made the decision because John Doe gave a neutral response.


In Example #3, John Smith felt obligated to EXPLAIN why he made the decision because John Doe tried to prove him wrong.


In the above examples – #3 is someone you simply need to UPGRADE from.


NOT because you don't share the same viewpoint - rather - you don’t need to waste your time explaining, justifying, or convincing. 


Your view is your view.

Your life experience is your life experience

Your decisions are your decisions.


AND if you feel the NEED to explain…


  1. Check Yourself: Get more convicted in your beliefs.

  2. Remove: If convicted in your beliefs, then stop wasting time with people who expect an explanation.

  3. Upgrade: Seek out people who operate at a higher frequency where EXPLANATIONS are not only not needed, but they are frowned upon.

  4. S.T.O.P…  

Become ExplainLESS

S.T.O.P Before You EXPLAIN


The experience with my new business partner really hit home…


I felt the need to explain a situation I am facing and he did not feel the need to hear any explanation, because the situation is the situation AND my character, skills, resources, etc. are NOT the situation. 


PLEASE read this again and then relate it to YOUR LIFE….


Your situation is your situation AND your character, skills, resources, etc. are NOT your situation. 


This is why I developed an acronym to help remind me and anchor me, so that I STOP before I feel the need to EXPLAIN…


Surround yourself with people who don’t need an explanation.

Together you will all achieve more.

Open your mind, body, and spirit to being supported and supporting others unconditionally.

Put whoever needs help in that moment as the priority.


Surround yourself with people who don’t need an explanation.


You will have so much more time, energy, resources, enthusiasm, positivity, ingenuity, freedom, etc. the moment you stop negotiating with yourself and only surround yourself with people who DON’T need an explanation.


This might lead to upgrading out of familiar relationships or friends from decades or business partnerships that are holding you back.


But it is what it is and if you want more time, energy, resources, enthusiasm, positivity, ingenuity, freedom, etc., then the only way to get there is to ONLY surround yourself with people who DON’T need an explanation.


Together you will all achieve more


Once you are surrounded by people who don’t need an explanation – they don’t pass judgment, they are not critical, they only ask for clarification for the purpose of education, etc. the outcome is extraordinary…


I call it 1+1 = INFINITE!


You will have INFINITELY more success…

You will have INFINTELY more happiness…

You will have INFINITELY more freedom…

You will have INFINITELY more _____________ (Fill in the blank with what you want infinitely)


Because when you operate solely around those who share your values and don’t need or want an explanation – TOGETHER you will achieve things that individually you couldn't.


It’s the ULTIMATE example of synergy!


Open your mind, body, and spirit to being supported and supporting others unconditionally.


The hardest part for me within this realization is RECEIVING unconditional support.


I am not making this statement to make myself look special or unique, but I am one of the most self-made humans I have ever met…


From my success…

To my marriage…

To my parenting…

To my personal development…

To my health…


I did not have a headstart in any of these core domains of my life – 100% of what I have and achieved is because of me, BUT when all of your accomplishments are caused by YOU, then you are limited by YOU!


Because anyone who has achieved anything of significance – accepted support!


So…


In my situation in my new business partnership – I need support AND because I am operating with two people at a very high frequency – they did not even think twice about granting it.


They did not hold it over my head…

They did not renegotiate…

They did not pull back…


They actually did the EXACT opposite.


They told me they could not do what we are about to do without me…

They leaned in even more…

They honored their word…

They provided UNCONDITIONAL support…


THIS right here is my hope and dream for YOU!


Put whoever needs help in that moment as the priority.


And the final reminder in S.T.O.P is to recognize within your life and business – there will ALWAYS be someone who needs help.


SO…


Don’t expect from them what others are not expecting from you…

Don’t hold them to a standard that others are not holding you to…

Don’t critique their situation that others are not even commenting on…


As long as you have strict criteria regarding who gains access to your most precious asset - your time - then STOP is the perfect anchor to remind you to STOP explaining your decisions, actions, and/or circumstances.


Now What?


Put this to WORK!


The moment my business partner made the statement – I integrated it.


I mean immediately…


I wrote down each area where I felt the need to explain myself…

Then

I built a list of people who I feel the need to explain myself…

Then 

I put what I wrote in this article to work…


And here’s what transpired over the past 30-45 days…


I have not been this mentally clear in at least 6 years…

I have not been this productive in 20 years…

I have not been this intentional ever in my life…


And the tangible benefits go on and on and on…


This one statement created a NEW STANDARD for me and now my hope is it does the same for you…


“You NEVER need to explain yourself to me.”


And I mean it…


You are in my world for a reason - I don’t need any explanation from you - but what I do need is for you to NEVER feel the need to explain your actions, decisions or circumstances because…


Your situation is your situation AND your character, skills, resources, etc. are NOT your situation.  


Live with Intention,






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