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“I have come to realize that EVERYONE needs a label and they only need ONE, but the key is to label yourself the way you want as opposed to being labeled for what you don’t want to be or become.” - Jared Yellin
Labeling is truly fascinating for me because most people will either be LABELED by someone other than themselves or they select a LABEL that does not serve them…
What does LABEL even mean…
la·bel
/ˈlābəl/
a classifying phrase or name applied to a person or thing, especially one that is inaccurate or restrictive.
Wait a second…
Take a look at this FREAKING definition…
“a classifying phrase or name applied to a person or thing, especially one that is inaccurate or restrictive.”
YOU have allowed a LABEL to consume your life and the definition of a label is a phrase that is inaccurate or restrictive.
I hope that you are able to see how disturbing this is and yet…
How darn exciting it is as well because for some reason you stumbled on an article that is going to help you REDEFINE...YOU!
But before we start the REDEFINITION process...
Let’s talk about BEING LABELED…
People that have been labeled typically are holding on to a negative experience in their life which is the single thing holding them back…
Yes, the SINGLE THING holding them back…
It might look like dozens of things holding them back, but there is a source to everything and the source to their stagnation is the fact that they have been LABELED…
You are useless
You are not interesting
You are too slow
You are ugly and will always be
You can’t start a company
You are not good in bed
You are extremely annoying
You are mediocre
You are such an employee
You are a horrible spouse
You are a lame parent
You are a horrible cook
There are 1,000,000,000’s of other “YOU ARE” statements I could list, but here’s another element to being LABELED…
The action someone took based on the statement from above…
Cheating on you
Lying to you
Ignoring you
Hitting you
Spitting on you
Not picking you
Not inviting you
And when you combine the words with the action, the outcome is BEING LABELED in a way that absolutely does not serve you AT ALL and NEVER will!
Please read this again…
The outcome is BEING LABELED in a way that absolutely does not serve you AT ALL and NEVER will!
Now, let’s dig into LABELING YOURSELF in an unserving way…
The other type of label could be the consequence of being labeled, but often is not…
This type also holds you back to the same degree that BEING LABELED does and it impacts the chances of you having the life you want in such a way that it will never happen.
I literally mean this…
If you have a LABEL that does not SERVE YOUR ULTIMATE DESIRE, then I am positive you will have a life that is NOT what you want it to be…
And just so you can understand the term ULTIMATE DESIRE…
What I mean by this is…
Without compromising ANYTHING - what do you want from your life?!?!
Hold onto this answer for a bit because you will see later in the article where all of this comes together…
But for now, let’s look at what labeling yourself might sound like…
I am fibromyalgia
I am too busy
I am an entrepreneur
I am a corporate executive
I am lymes disease
I am _____________________
Once again, 1,000,000,000 I AM statements that are NOT serving you, but yet, become the label you attach to your entire life.
And guess what happens…
Your entire identity is associated with this label…
You don’t know who you are without this label…
You have a weird sense of security because of this label…
And yet…
This label has a choke hold on your happiness…
This label is an anchor dragging you down…
This label is preventing you from having FREEDOM…
I used to have a label that would have ruined my life...
I self-selected the following label which would have been my choke hold, anchor, and prevention of what I ultimately wanted…
I AM AN ENTREPRENEUR!
This was my label about ten years ago and as a result I also adopted a belief which was…
I can either be an entrepreneur OR have a family, but I can’t do both!
WHAT THE HECK?!?!
This is why making sure your LABEL serves you at the deepest level REALLY matters.
Well, guess what happened…
I met Lindsay, now my wife, 9+ years ago two weeks before launching SYNDUIT, one of my companies.
Here’s a free piece of advice…
Don’t launch a company and a relationship within two weeks of one another, because they both NEED you and it’s very hard to be in two places at the same time with the level of intensity needed for both to thrive.
But I tried and boy oh boy did I fail because I had a label that DID NOT serve my ultimate desire…
SYNDUIT got 100% of me…
Lindsay got 0% of me…
And guess what thrived and guess what almost died…
YUP - SYNDUIT took off!
YUP - Lindsay was miserable!
But remember, I AM AN ENTREPRENEUR!
And that is all I was until I realized…
ENTREPRENEUR does NOT equal my ultimate desire.
But it took me a while to be honest…
I faked it for a bit which improved the relationship, but still did not fuel it…
It did improve and Lindsay felt more loved – which for the record is 10000000% authentic, but being 100% honest with myself, I was still AN ENTREPRENEUR!
Until Taylee was born, my now 8 year-old daughter.
And I realized that being an ENTREPRENEUR would prevent me from being the DAD I wanted to be…
So I changed my label…
I AM DAD!
And guess what happened…
I became an AMAZING DAD!
I became a BETTER HUSBAND!
I became a WORSE ENTREPRENEUR!
Okay, this was improved, but still not what I wanted it to be…
So I kept working on it…
I kept asking myself what was missing…
I kept asking myself where I was falling short...
I kept asking myself what I ultimately desired...
And then I landed on it…
I AM HAVE IT ALL!
BOOOOOM!
I AM HAVE IT ALL!
Defined as…
Dad
Husband
Entrepreneur
But now I had to do the work because just LABELING yourself is the starting point, but to live out the label means you must LIVE OUT the label.
And to make a long story short…
I am officially…HAVE IT ALL!
Dad - My kids have the best dad in the world because I am ALWAYS available for them and eager to immerse myself into them.
Husband - Lindsay has the man she wants and I still know I have room for improvement.
Entrepreneur - My companies are growing without me being in the trenches and instead being in my FLAME WORK.
I am 100000% still a work in progress, but the process of selecting a LABEL that aligned with my ultimate desire is what made my label serve me for the first time and I am excited for you to have this same opportunity...
Now It’s Your Turn
Thinking back on this evolutionary experience, there were and are five steps that I invite you to embark on...NOW!
Step 1: Realize your LABEL can change – but only by YOU!
I don’t care if you identified with being fat, slow, dumb, ugly, a CEO, busy, etc. for your entire life…
You can change your label in a moment!
Yes, literally in a moment you can make a decision that will radically change your present and future forever.
So, do it!
Complete this sentence…
I AM ________________________________________________!
Step 2: Make sure that your LABEL aligns with your ultimate desire.
Okay, that was easy...right?!?!
But wait - you now need to ensure that your new LABEL aligns with your ultimate desire.
Remember, I was ENTREPRENEUR and then I was DAD, but something was still missing which is why I landed on I AM HAVE IT ALL because MY ultimate desire is FREEDOM so that I can be the greatest dad, husband, and entrepreneur all at the same time.
Which means - being REALLY honest with yourself.
Does your newly declared LABEL align with your ultimate desire…?
AND - what is your ultimate desire?!?!
Step 3: Define your label.
Now, it’s time to define your label.
And I mean DEFINE IT in a meaningful way.
For me…
I AM HAVE IT ALL with my ultimate desire as FREEDOM.
Looks like this…
Dad - My kids have the best dad in the world because I am ALWAYS available for them and eager to immerse myself into them.
Husband - Lindsay has the man she wants, who puts her needs, emotions, and desires at the forefront and brings spontaneity and fun into our relationship.
Entrepreneur - My companies are growing without me being in the trenches and instead being in my FLAME WORK.
Now it’s your turn…
DEFINE IT - DEFINE IT - DEFINE IT!
Step 4: Do the work.
Just declaring and defining your label will change nothing, so now it’s time to do the work.
DO what is needed to BE the label you have declared and defined.
Look at your rhymes, rituals, calendar, etc.
Eliminate what does not serve you…
Double down on what does…
You can’t just declare and define a label – you must do the work!
Step 5: Revisit often.
Revisit your label OFTEN!
Make sure it still serves your ultimate desire because if not…
Go back to Step One…
Realize your LABEL can change - but only by YOU!
I know this article might be heavy for you…
I know you might wish you did not read it…
I know you might want to just hide…
But I also know that you are here for a reason and I am excited to see what happens as a result…
Here for you always!
Live with Intention,
