“Learn to give and expect nothing in return and then continue to give with abundance and intention. The outcome will be more than you ever could have imagined." - Jared Yellin

I had a call the other day with someone I have known for many years, and he made a comment…

“I am not sure if you realize this, but I made at least 6 introductions for you, and you have yet to make any.”

My response…

“So what?”

You might interpret this as self-centered, ungrateful, or maybe even nonreciprocal.

You might even be confused because I always talk about my goal is to give at least 51% in every relationship and receive 49%.

You might even question why I was so abrupt, dismissive, and maybe even slightly rude.

And while all of these questions have a place – there is an even more important question, which is…

WHY ARE YOU KEEPING SCORE?

The #1 reason why relationships (business or personal) plateau is because one party is keeping score of a statistic that the other is completely and utterly unaware of.

Let’s use this gentleman as an example….

1 - I don’t know the type of person he would like introduced.

2 - I don’t know the benefits of his offer.

3 - I don’t know the specifics of what he delivers.

AND

4 - I had no idea that he introduced 6 people to me until that moment, and I still have no way to verify it since he never shared any names, AND no one ever mentioned his name when I asked how they heard of what we are doing.

Here’s the key:

A - If you have an expectation of someone – communicate it.

B - If you have done something to help someone and you want credit – tell them.

C - If you feel a relationship is not reciprocal – fix it.

AND

NEVER keep score of how much you GIVE to another human. You have the choice to stop whenever it no longer serves you, but you should never hold your GIVING against someone else, especially if you did not follow A, B, and C from above.

Give WAYYYYY More Than You Take, But PROFIT!

Givers Will Always Gain But Won’t Always Profit

Some of the most giving people I know are also the ones who have the most severe economic conditions.

It’s almost as if they have been conditioned that getting paid and giving are diabolic forces, and there is no place to achieve more.

But what if you decided to associate GIVING with WEALTH?!

What if you realized that the more you gave - without any strings attached - the more you made?

If you were to survey the top 100 people I communicate and interact with, they would all say that I have given more to their relationship with me than I have received - YET - I am by no means struggling economically (quite the contrary), AND in many of these relationships I have found ways to make significant money (sometimes only for me and not the other person).

As a “GIVER,” does this make me less or more impactful from your perspective?

I will answer it for you – and I am going to make this REALLY simple…

Your ability to GIVE is 10000000000% predicated on your ability to GAIN!

If you don’t GAIN, you will have a limit to what you can GIVE because the world requires you to GAIN in order to cover your basic necessities and ultimate – your grandest desires.

You MUST expect the GAIN.

You MUST expect MONEY TO FLOW.

You MUST expect the ability to GIVE MORE because of what you GAINED.

And it does not necessarily mean that your GAIN is coming from the person you gave to, but you must expect it to flow because if it does not flow – your ability to GIVE will be subluxated and minimized.

Therefore…

Please don’t correlate anything other than positive vibes to GIVING and PROFITING!

7 Ways To Get A Return On GIVING (ROG)

1. How will you profit?

The givers who don’t know how to profit will never outperform the people who know how to profit and also give - it’s just impossible - because until the world currency is not profit - you are at an extreme disadvantage.

So…

Stop following a passion that won’t pay you.

Stop trading time for money.

Stop believing that altruism does not need capital.

Stop correlating anything negative with making money.

And start…

Getting hyper clear on how to create profitability in your life that allows you to GIVE MORE.

Because steps 2-7 will be completely theoretical if you don’t master PROFIT.

YES, I intend to GIVE MORE over my life than every person you have ever met combined, AND I will make more money than you ever thought possible.

If this statement rubs you the wrong way - read it over and over and over again while looking at yourself in the mirror until you realize - it’s pure FACTS!

I don’t say it with any arrogance…

I don’t say it with any flex…

I don’t say it with anything other than this…

Your GIVING must have a companion, which is called PROFIT because if it’s missing – so will your GIVING.

2. You were born with two ears and one mouth for a reason.

Assuming you have #1 above figured out, it’s imperative that you speak less and listen more in order to GIVE effectively.

My goal in any new or existing relationship is to determine the following…

What are you most proud of (past)?

What are you most excited about (present)?

What is your vision (future)?

If there is one thing lacking right now, what is it (the holdup)?

Once I collect this information, it allows me to give in such a way that it truly impacts the person.

I have a few people in my world who make introductions to me - which is a generous act - BUT NONE of them are valuable.

They are doing things that have nothing to do with what I am doing…

They have gifts and talents that don’t correlate with my needs…

They offer things I don’t want or desire…

So YES – the gesture of making an introduction is, in theory, a GIVE, but in reality, is a TAKE because these people never took the time to collect DATA from me, which would have made their effort more productive and, in turn, a GIVING WIN versus a GIVING LOSS.

3. Don’t keep score, but always keep track.

I want to make sure this point does not contradict the introduction to the article because you should NEVER keep score in the game called GIVING, but you should keep TRACK.

Keeping SCORE = what the person from the story above did – held something against me that I didn't even know I was involved with, nor did I sign up for.

Keeping TRACK = for me (or for you if you are GIVING) to ensure that your GIVES are valuable to the receiver AND worth your effort.

It’s 100000% okay to stop GIVING to a relationship that does not serve you.

Please do not interpret this article as GIVE TO ANYONE – you only should GIVE TO RELEVANCY!

YES, if you can easily help anyone – do it.

BUT…

Your time is extremely valuable, and there is a finite amount of allocated minutes/hours each week for you to GIVE. It’s critical that you don’t stretch yourself too thin so no one gains from your effort and instead – GIVE WHERE YOU CREATE MULTIPLICATION OUTCOME.

Where both you and the other party GAIN more than 1+1 = 2 and instead 1+1 = 11.

Which is why you MUST keep track.

For example…

I will loop back with people after I make introductions for them to find out if the introduction is valuable.

I don’t do this because of my desire for recognition or compensation, but rather I know how valuable TIME is for them and for me and I want to ensure that no one is wasting any of it.

This is why…

Don’t KEEP SCORE – but HELLS YES keep track!

4. Never operate with an ulterior motive, but also communicate your motive.

I don’t know about you, but when someone has an ulterior motive, it smells like “dog poop on the bottom of their shoe.”

It’s an unavoidable scent and also one that leaves you feeling repulsed.

Morale of the story – clean your shoes!

What I mean by this is don’t be like the person you are rejecting by showing up with an ulterior motive while “GIVING” and instead - just communicate your motive.

For example…

Right now, I am looking for introductions to high net-worth families in tier 2,3,4 cities who care about their city.

When I speak with people who I believe can help me - I tell them - my motive right now is ONE THING – high net-worth families in tier 2, 3, and 4 cities who care about their city.

AND

I ask the questions from Way 2…

What are you most proud of (past)?

What are you most excited about (present)?

What is your vision (future)?

If there is one thing lacking right now, what is it (the holdup)?

And my goal is to deliver on the last question by offering wisdom or a relationship that can help them but…

THEY KNOW MY MOTIVE!

I am not playing the back-scratch game where if you scratch mine, I scratch yours. I am going to scratch yours anyway if I can, but I also want you to know how to scratch mine.

5. Get hyper-clear on “giving in alignment” with your own goals and desires.

My hope and desire for you is that you become the most selfish giver on planet earth…

This might sound like an oxymoron, but it’s not.

There is only a FINITE amount of TIME for you to GIVE, and I want to ensure that you are using it in such a way that it provides you with the greatest RETURN ON GIVING!

For example…

My ONLY ASK right now is introductions to high net-worth families in tier 2, 3, and 4 cities who care about their city.

As a result, I have been introduced to countless high-net-worth individuals - many of whom - don’t care about their cities (yet).

But they do care about specific causes, making money, access, ego, etc.

So…

When I meet someone who is doing X but needs help with Y, and one of my new relationships is interested in X and is able to help with Y – I GIVE!

And this GIVE is 1000000% aligned with my goals and desires, which is to keep ME on the mind of these high net-worth individuals because my motive is clear and not ulterior.

6. Set expectations.

I meet a ton of people. Every day I speak with at least 10 people for the first time and sometimes even 20.

The more I learn - the more I will potentially be able to help - but I do set expectations, and I never create false hope if their needs and desires don’t align with mine.

I want them to know that there are three people who come to mind who I believe can help them OR none, but I don’t want to leave them wondering.

Closing loops in GIVING - or communicating that they are left open - is essential, and it’s also how you want people to operate with you.

So lead by example…

Set expectations for the other party…

Ask for expectations from those who have agreed to give to you…

And continue this forever because setting expectations is the only way to ensure alignment with people and to ensure they don’t feel let down.

7. Daily scrolling.

This is by far the most tactical and practical way, but I share it because it works…

SCROLL DAILY!

I spend 15-30 minutes EVERY DAY scrolling through my phone, text messages, all social platforms, my CRM, etc., to see whose name pops up.

When a name pops - I call this a UNIVERSE PING. I don’t ask why, but I do message the person and ask, “how can I best help you today?”

I trust that the universe knows best, and this person needs a bit of help.

Remember - GIVERS ALWAYS GAIN. ALWAYS when they follow Way 1 from above FIRST and then deploy 2-7.

Now What?

You just need to try it.

The entire premise of GIVER’S GAIN is experiential, and you will never know until you DO IT.

You will never fully grasp how much further you get by helping others get further.

You will never fully understand how your greatest catalyst is to catalyze others.

You will never fully appreciate how much you will grow when you focus on the growth in others.

There is nothing in this article that should surprise you OTHER THAN how little you might be applying this today.

I have spoken with countless people who ask me the same question…

How have you accomplished so much?

And my answer is always the same…

I have helped other people become accomplished.

AND…

I don’t need any credit.

I don’t need a trophy.

I don’t need any pat on the back.

I did this because I saw someone who needed to become accomplished, and as a result of me supporting them, they will not go and support someone else on their journey to become accomplished as well.

So, just to ensure that this message lands…

There is only ONE thing you can do right now.

DO IT.

Go help someone else become ACCOMPLISHED, and then audit the following: